Cultivating a Spirit of Encouragement by Jen McCarthy

Dear Wonderfully Made Ladies:

It is a great thing to be heading into another Christmas season! I absolutely love the Christmas music, breaking out the wrapping paper, making Christmas goodies, attending holiday concerts, seeing family again…and most of all, having another reason to celebrate the birth of our Amazing Savior, the one true reason for our joy!!!

The thing of it is, for many women this isn’t an accurate portrayal of the holiday season at all. Don’t we all know women who struggle at the holidays, women in situations more like these?

Terri, a dorm friend, lost her dad this past spring. She still feels overwhelmed and empty, but she doesn’t want to burden or bore friends with this kind of conversation.

Alexa is dating someone new, a guy all wrong for her. She knows he’s hurtful, but she’s so scared of being alone again.

Sydney wants to be better than she is. She comes off as genuine and good-natured, and everyone loves her. But she struggles secretly with an “embarrassing” sin, and she’s not sure how to stop, and if God could possibly love her.

Maybe you have friends struggling in relationships, dealing with loss or loneliness, addictions, sins, or depression; friends questioning their purposes and worth. Even among the women dutifully planning parties, baking and wrapping, many are deflated, anxious, and insecure…devoid of true hope. So many women need hope!

I wanted to give you a special charge this year, Wonderfully Made Women! Would you ask God to show you where you can deliver hope and encouragement to others this holiday season? The Lord is so kind and faithful- abundant in compassion and mercy! He is the reason for our hope, and He uses us to pass along these messages of hope to other women! In turn, we reap the benefits of loving others. Loving and selfless service is one of the greatest secrets to fulfillment and joy!

How can you prepare for your holiday ministry of encouragement?

To answer this question, there’s a fantastic guy I’d like you to meet! His name was Joseph, but the apostles gave him a new name, Barnabas, meaning “Son of Encouragement.” You may have come across him if you’ve done reading in Acts, Luke’s writing that chronicles the acts of the Apostles and the birth of the Christian church.

Barnabas was an unbelievably amazing encourager! Scan his resume of character and encouragement below:

The Acts of the Apostles

4:36-37: Barnabas had a selfless, others-focused spirit. He sold his own land and laid the money at the apostles’ feet. (At this time, believers were selling their possessions to share everything amongst each other).

9:27: Christians were afraid of Paul. He was such a horrible persecutor of the church, and they didn’t trust him- even after he claimed to be a Christian. It was Barnabas who embraced him, stuck up for him, validated him, and vouched for him. He believed the best in Paul, someone hard to trust and love, and connected him to other Christians.

11:22-30: The Good News of Christ wasn’t just for Jews. Gentiles were hearing and being saved, too! When the church in Jerusalem heard about Greeks becoming Christians, they sent Barnabas to Antioch, home of the first largely Gentile church. Luke wrote that when he arrived and witnessed the grace of God, “he rejoiced and began to encourage them all with resolute heart to remain true to the Lord.” Luke explained that Barnabas did this because he was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and of faith. And lots of people were brought to the Lord! These passages also show that Barnabas was faithful to these new Christians. He discipled them, sticking around to teach them for an entire year.

12:25-13: Barnabas fulfilled his mission in Jerusalem. And the Holy Spirit told the Christian leaders at Antioch to set apart Barnabas and Saul for the work to which the Spirit had called them. Then they quickly obeyed and got to work, sharing the Good News with others!

13:43: Barnabas and Paul were urging the believers to continue in the grace of God. In other words, they were encouraging folks to keep on keepin’ on!

13:46: Barnabas and Paul spoke out boldly, and many people became Christians. They were eventually persecuted and driven out of this area.

14:3: They spent a long time in their new location, Iconium, speaking boldly with reliance upon the Lord. And God granted that they would be able to do signs and wonders to confirm the truth of their message and the approval of God.

14:12-18: Okay, you won’t believe this part. Barnabas and Paul fled to a city called Lystra after Iconium, and the patron god of Lystra was Zeus. When God performed a miracle through Paul (a man who had been lame from birth was made able to walk), the people thought that the gods had become like men and had come to them. They began to call Barnabas, Zeus! They even tried to make sacrifices to them (with oxen and garlands). But when Barnabas and Paul got a whiff of this, they tore their clothes- this symbolized great anguish- and they began to plea with everyone. “Men, why are you doing these things? We are also men of the same nature as you, and preach the gospel to you that you should turn from these vain things to a living God, who made the heaven and the earth and the sea and all that is in them.”

See, this was their big chance to smile, to be flattered, a little pompous. Oh no, I’m no Zeus, Barnabas could have said, grinning. But they didn’t even consider a prideful response, not for a second! Barnabas knew that things might get ugly after this, but he knew, more importantly, that this wasn’t about him.
14:19-23: And oh man, did it ever get ugly! Disbelieving Jews arrived from Antioch and Iconium and they won over the crowds. They began to stone Paul, and when they thought he was dead, they dragged him out of the city. But he was well enough to leave with Barnabas the next day! They went to another city where lots of folks became Christians, then returned to Lystra, Iconium, and Antioch. Why on earth did they go back?! To do the following thing!

Strengthen the souls of the disciples, encourage them to continue in the faith. They also told them that we must enter the kingdom of God through many tribulations, and they helped to establish the church leaders, commending them to the Lord.

14:27: In Antioch, they gathered everyone in the church together and started reporting on all that God had been doing, how he had opened a door to the Gentiles and done other things through them. And after sharing these encouraging acts of God, they stayed with these disciples a long time.

15:2-3: They refuted a lie about salvation. Some folks were saying that you still had to be circumcised to receive salvation, and Paul and Barnabas argued to set the record straight. It was decided that they should go address this issue in person (it was originating in folks from a different city), and on the way they stopped to encourage Christians in other cities- “bringing great joy to all the brethren!”

15:12: They argued for the gospel, sharing what they believed: that we are saved through the grace of the Lord Jesus. Everyone listened to Barnabas and Paul as they relayed the wonders and signs that God had done through them.

15:22-31: When legalists were making Christians insecure, Barnabas and others delivered a few essential rules to clarify the truth and to relieve these Christians of an unfair, untruthful burden of legalism. They delivered hope! The church received this news, and they rejoiced because of its encouragement.

15:36-39: Paul and Barnabas decided to take a trip (this was the second missionary journey) to visit every city in which they’d previously proclaimed the gospel. They wanted to check up on the new Christians and see how they were doing. Barnabas wanted to take John-Mark (you know him as the author of Mark), but Paul did not want him joining them. After all, John-Mark had deserted them on the last trip! Paul and Barnabas actually split up over this disagreement*, Barnabas believing the best and wanting to give John-Mark another chance.

*(Co. 4:10: This verse confirms that eventually all things were smoothed over between Paul and John-Mark!)

And that is the last time we hear about Barnabas in Acts!

So now…back to you, Precious Daughter of God!

Here are some steps you can take to see where God might be leading you this season in terms of a ministry of encouragement:

1. Pray! Invite God into your holiday season, and ask Him to use you however He’d like!

2. Review! Go back over this list, reading the words or phrases in bold. Think about how you might be able to apply these to your life and ministry. How might you embrace these characteristics to become a Daughter of Encouragement this season?

3. Act! Begin to encourage others…today!!!

Merry Christmas, Wonderfully Made Ladies!!!

The Wardrobe of a "Hard to Find Woman" by Allie Berthold

It was a gorgeous Saturday morning and I was just getting ready to meet one of my girlfriends downtown for lunch. I hadn’t seen her in months and although I was excited to spend time with her, I couldn’t help but feel in adequate in my outfit. I didn’t know what to wear. My jeans seemed too tight or too old and nothing I had felt cute. My friend would look absolutely amazing and so well put together as she always did. I knew I’d love everything she had on from brand new hair style down to her hot stilettos. Halfway through our lunch when I couldn’t take it anymore I said, “Why do you always look so cute? It’s not fair! Can you be my personal shopper?” She just laughed and told me some of her shopping secrets which I did my best to take note of. On the way home from our time together, spent from hours of window shopping and still feeling insecure in my personal “look,” God spoke to me. He said before you go and dress yourself in the things of the world, my daughter, dress yourself in a true understanding of your value and worth in me. What you put on is not who you are, “you are my child." So clothe yourself in the love and freedom and salvation of Christ. For you were bought with the most precious price.
There are so many outfits and so many things in the world you can put on. They can evoke so many feelings, fleeting feelings that temporarily hide the frail inadequacies within our hearts which we cannot fill ourselves. You can put on the role of the top student in your class, that of the “hottest” girl, the funnest girl at the party, the popular guy’s girlfriend, you can put on any outfit…but until you put on and walk in the truth that you are the wonderfully made, loved-beyond measure daughter of God and let this truth satiate every ounce of your being, you will never be a “hard to find woman”. And it is fine if you like clothes and pretty things, but remember that pretty things are all they are, they are man made fabrications of the beauty that can only be of God. God says this, come into my store, come into my Kingdom where everything is free because it has been bought by the blood of Jesus. Come into my house and put on the wardrobe you will wear into eternity.
It is easy in this world to clothe ourselves with ungodliness. To dress our fragile selves in desirable roles, in lofty achievements, in fashionable clothes and in coveted appearances. But a woman of God, a “hard to find woman” is clothed in strength and dignity – strength that is provided by her Creator and dignity that comes only from a passionate relationship with Christ. Her strength and dignity is in something so much bigger than herself.
I challenge you to ask yourself what you are tempted to “clothe” yourself in each morning. What are you tempted to put on? Is it a desire to please everyone you encounter even if it means compromising who are you? Do you wake up and want to put on perfection? Or do you wake up and ready to clothe yourself in arrogance and in a “I’m better than you attitude.” Really, whatever it is we try to clothe ourselves in other than our identity in Christ is a mask, a temporary cover for the needs, hurts and desires only God can fulfill.

Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone...

People, even more than things,have to be restored, renewed, revived,reclaimed, and redeemed.

Never throw out anybody.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands.

One for helping yourself, the other for helping others

-Audrey Hepburn's Favorite Poem

Vaccine for Life by Cindy Incorvaia

“A Mother Who Radiates Self-Acceptance Actually Vaccinates Her Daughter Against Low Self-Esteem.” Naomi Wolf

Radiate self acceptance… Who in her right mind would not want to exude a personality glowing with appreciation, self love, and gratitude?! Amazing books have been written endorsing such positive thinking as, Simple Abundance: by Sarah Ban Breathnach, and I Like Myself! by Karen Beaumont, for younger children. In the elementary classroom today, it is politically correct to teach lesson plans on self-esteem because a child who has a sense of well being in the world is thought to do better, go farther, and ultimately live a happier life. Yet for most of us, in childhood is where we formulate perceptions that we are not OK, that something must be wrong with us otherwise our lives wouldn’t hurt so much.
Role models who have achieved self acceptance protect, inoculate, and immunize us against low self-esteem. Oprah made a comment on her show featuring R & B artist, Mary J. Blige, that women who have been molested no longer “feel worthy.” How do we get this worthiness back? Must we depend upon our Mother’s? For those of us who did not get “the vaccination” but instead became infected with low self esteem, how do we root it out of our hearts, our bloodstream, thus becoming healthy, vibrant, and confident women?
Brave female crusaders in the media are trying to turn things around for women suffering from a malady of symptoms from low self esteem. On her CD, Breakthrough, Mary J. expresses her journey through drugs, pain, and self-loathing which ultimately led to her breakthrough into sober living and a strong faith in God. She speaks openly on the Oprah show about forgiving her own Mother, “I blame my Mother for nothing; I forgive her for everything.” Somewhere along in our journey into our own breakthroughs, we must begin with forgiveness, and usually that will be towards our own Mothers who for one reason or another were not able to give us that vaccination so needed to protect us against unworthiness.
My own Mother struggled to find her value, worth, and place in the world as a young child. At the tender age of four she was sent off to Boarding School, a custom not uncommon for British children of her era. My Mother came to America when she was a toddler after the sudden death of her father, making her Mother a young widow left with two baby daughters to raise. Fighting back poverty and aloneness in a new strange country her Mother worked particularly hard to make herself as attractive as possible. To secure a good future for herself and her children, she graduated from Beauty School and having had some experience in show business back in England, she elevated beauty, fitness, and self-confidence to the highest level. At a very young age, my Mother watched her Mom meticulously care for her complexion, count her calories, wear smart clothes, and most profoundly, attract the attention of admiring men. But this was not the vaccination she needed to rise above the wiles of looming self doubt. Even with all the best training in beauty and appearance, she was not secure inside. Helen Keller, a woman with no eyesight, or hearing, overcame to find beauty in her world which sustained her: “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... but are felt in the heart.” She hit the nail on the head! It’s within our hearts that true and genuine beauty is reflected. It is what makes our complexions glow and our eyes radiate a light from within.
Having none herself, my Mother was not able to vaccinate me against low self esteem. But in God’s goodness and grace, as a Child of God I move forward from “glory to glory,” from strength to strength, progressing past the limitations of physical appearance thus redefining beauty for myself and my daughters.
2 Corinthians 3:18But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.” King James
Extremely tall, awkward, shy, and ashamed, I maneuvered through high school with a vulnerability to the plethora of enticements around me. Any high mountain with steep cliffs could have wooed me over the edge with but a tap. I was, as so many young girls are today, simply unvaccinated and ill equipped to fight the mass barrage of subtle but powerful messages: “You don’t have what it takes… otherwise you would be in movies or on magazine covers,” and other similar thoughts as these. Fortunately, my shyness kept me away from popular parties where drugs were passed; my height scared off boys; and my faith kept me in safe places where I slowly became inoculated against low self-esteem and learned a new kind, God-esteem, where His love dominated everything else.
I remember as a wayward teen thinking that a way to end my disenchantment with life was to take my own life. This is what unvaccinated women consider until they have gained access to weapons which fight off thoughts of such illusions and seductions. Just as the snake in the Garden of Eden tempted with lies, every woman at some point will find herself in a place where she either resists those lies, or caves in. My cousin in her early 30’s succeeded in taking her own life, which surprisingly gave me a stronger resolve to stay alive. Ugly duckling teen I may have felt, yet still I had breath, and with that breath I could speak out words as an offense tactic against the lies. In time, I began to transform from the ugly duckling into the beautiful swan. Shedding feathers of awkwardness as God’s love penetrated my heart, I gained a graceful composure, an inner strength, and a remarkable confidence in God and His plan for me.
Daniel 12:3“… And those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the firmament, and those who turn many to righteousness (to uprightness and right standing with God) [shall give forth light] like the stars forever and ever.
Yes, the ugly duckling became a beautiful swan in the famous fairy tale. The unworthy teen became a confident, self assured woman. Every decision to see myself, not as my Mother or Grandmother saw themselves, but as God sees me, brings a brilliance from within radiating true beauty. “I blame my Mother for nothing, I forgive her for everything.” My self acceptance comes from God’s acceptance of me.
Today, as I walk along the beach in the mornings, the vaccination of gratitude, forgiveness, and solitude strengthen me. Living close to the shoreline, I observe the many moods of the ocean. Some days I look out and see grey, tumultuous surf; other days look out and see a brilliant blue crest laden with surfers and a seashore scattered with scampering sand pipers. Recently a seaweed strand washed up on the sand and formed a heart shape so I took a picture of it on my cell and mailed it to my daughter. My unspoken message? “You are loved. You are treasured. No matter how far away you are, your heartbeat is next to mine and I believe in you. Because I believe in myself and every breathe is a gift from God.”
Beauty comes from the heart, and as Helen Keller reminds us, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... but are felt in the heart.” My legacy of beauty and self acceptance started on shaky ground. But because of God’s faithfulness, I was able to go a little farther than those women before me and I have full confidence that my daughters will go farther than me.
All of us will shine and find our place as stars in the sky because God wills it so. Each one’s story, builds a legacy, a tale of arriving at that place Mary J. calls breakthrough. And as we overcome, we leave a bit of hope for other young women, starting out on their journey of forgiveness and redefinition of beauty. And we say, “From our hearts, beauty shines through our eyes, our countenance, our vulnerable beginnings.” It transforms us from inside out and brings a message of hope vs. defeat; a message of life vs. death, of breath vs. suffocation. We breathe free. We breathe bold. We’re alive and that is beautiful all in itself.

God's Little Girls by Allie Berthold

God never intended for his daughters to struggle with food and body confidence like we do. He made our bodies beautiful, perfect in His image. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.[i] As little girls, we were blind to what the world had to say about our bodies and the bodies of the women we loved. We didn’t know that they were pressured to look a certain way. They were simply a place to explore the wonders of the world - a place to twirl and skip and laugh out loud. But as we ventured from the innocence of our youth the world began to tell us otherwise. It told us that the shape of our body reflects the level of our worth. That place of girlhood bliss we’ve ventured so far from is where God still intends for us to live, and to live abundantly; to live in freedom and confidence, content in the way our bodies have been made.
[i] Genesis 1:27

Jessica McLean - Living Her Dream

Meet Jessica McLean - a sweet spirited,
surfer-girl, singer, songwriter, and musician
whose indie-acoustic sound and truth-filled
lyrics are as refreshing and soulful as she is. Her style is a blend of folk, rock and country all in one. She sings with a raw, gritty, power one second that can transform into a quiet, whimsical folk sound the next. “I sing from my heart. I don’t think too much about what I do,” says Jessica. “I just sing how I’m feeling inside.”
With her metallic blue Dean guitar in hand, dangling from a diamond studded strap that she designed herself, Jessica is a girl who's not afraid to live her dreams. This year alone she's traveled to South Africa, Australia, Hawaii and California all while preparing for the release of her debut album, Designed to Dream.
"God's designed us to live our dreams," says Jessica. "He created us with unique gifts, plans and purposes in order to tell the world about his love. God wants you to dream up ways to use those gifts for good."
Designed to Dream is an intimate reflection of her life. Each track was written out of a personal experience God brought her through. “The longer I live, the more I realize that I am nothing and Jesus is everything," says Jessica. “Each song reflects that.”
The album features nine tracks that give a raw, heartfelt delivery in combination with acoustically layered guitar tracks, driven percussion and soulful musical arrangements. “Beautiful is a song about my personal struggles in the area of self worth and body image. The chorus says, ‘Lord, make me beautiful from the inside out. Your love is what matters to me. I am beautiful in your eyes O Lord. You love me just as I am.’”
The album's most acclaimed track, Ocean Song has already made waves. The music video was featured on Noah's Arc, one of the most widely viewed Christian surf films of all times. She wrote Ocean Song after Hurricane Isabel devastated the Outer Banks of North Carolina, the quiet surf community where she lives. “Standing on the calm beach the day after the storm, I was brought to a realization of God’s power and redeeming grace. God brought peace to the storms in my life and reminded me of how He changes lives.”
“I wrote the song Good Things Come while I was single and waiting for the husband God wanted for me. It's a testimony of purity and patience.” Jessica is now married to her husband of two years, Nic, who makes evangelical surf films.
Jessica traveled alongside Nic and the Walking on Water film crew to South Africa, where they shot footage for their upcoming film as well as Jessica's new music video for the track Designed to Dream which will also be featured on the movie's DVD. Designed to Dream is a reflection of the dreams God has placed within this girl. Her heart’s desire is for people to listen to this album, relate to it and be touched. Jessica encourages others with her music and is committed to sharing God’s love with the world. “Whatever gifts you have, use them for God, and He will give you a life far more amazing than you could have ever imagined. He has for me.”
-Allie Berthold
Visit www.jessicamclean.com

Loved

You are loved.
The truth is you are God’s loved beyond measure daughter. To know this and to walk in this truth will fulfill and surpass the deepest longings of your heart. These longings within you have been put there by God so that you may find your way back to Him - to be His, joyfully His, heaven-bound, forgiven and healed.
The God who made you longs to be in a relationship with you. His desire for you is to discover, strengthen and reclaim your value and worth. To tell you how loved and precious and worthy you are in His sight. You, my sister are no accident. You are His beloved daughter. He has planned all of your days before one of them has come to be, He has made you and knows you and wants to see you rise to become the amazing woman He has designed you to be; to rise up and fulfill the irreplaceable role you have been made for.

Psalm 139

1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Wonderfully Made

If there is one truth every girl longs to know it is that she is wonderfully made. I can still remember the moment I came across the verse containing this truth. It was like I had finally found what I was looking for, like something I had been longing to hear my entire life was spoken to me and I could finally rest easy, secure in the truth behind these two words.
We are girls hungry to know that we are wonderfully made; to know that we are esteemed, of high value, beloved and set apart. When we don’t know the freedom offered in this truth we dress ourselves in things that promise to fill this void – food, false intimacy with men, perfectionism, a hot body, an eagerness to please. We give ourselves away because we don’t know who we are or who we belong to.
Being wonderfully made means that you have a Maker – a Maker who made you and made you beautifully; a Maker who loves you and knows you, has amazing plans for you, and longs to reveal to your value and worth as His daughter. Walking in the truth that you are wonderfully made is the not only the pathway towards experiencing authentic healing in your relationship with food and your body, but is the road to an awesome and abundant life.
-Allie Berthold