HerStory: "God met me on the bathroom floor."

This week's "HerStory" post is by Chrissy Conway including a picture she took for the wmCampaign!

Mostly throughout high school people knew me as a goodie goodie and I took pride in that. I hung out with the right crowd, went to church, had a few youth group friends.

The summer after my senior was when everything changed forever. I became resentful to my family and friends for always being referred to “the good kid” and in my anger I pulled away from every friendship I had ever known and started hanging out with the “bad kids."

I became a completely different person. I lived to satisfy my needs and started drinking several times a week. I went to parties almost every night, and eventually started having sex - something I vowed to wait until marriage to do. I was the worst possible version of myself.

After the summer was almost over I decided to move to Arizona with two friends. As you can probably imagine I started to drink more and more. After that came smoking, not long after that I entered a lifestyle of being sexually active.

I still thought about God once in a while, but it was easier not to think about Him. Because thinking about Him meant dealing with my life and the guilt and furthermore meant possibly stopping this new “fun” life I had created for myself. I ran from even the thought of God. I pushed Him out of my life in every way and when He tried to pull me back, I ran some more.

Then one night…God met me on the bathroom floor.

Alone…drunk…depressed…sick…crying…and laying on the bathroom floor. Completely empty in every sense of the word. Broken beyond repair…

I can remember feeling Him there listening to me cry and listening to me talk to Him even though I hadn’t in so long.

I picked up my Bible and cried myself to sleep.

The next day I decided to move back to New Mexico to live with my mom for about 3 months and then move out to California together. I wish I could tell you that I was all better and everything was great after that. Not true…. It was hard…

My old habits came in and out of the picture but little by little God peeled away each layer. After I stepped out of that world and got my soul back…then came the heartbreak of it all. The world will be the first to tell you, “take another shot, have sex, get drunk get high have FUN"…but no one tells you the heartbreak that comes after…

It took a lot of praying for that guilt to go away…and once in a while it creeps up on me. But God has revealed His love to me in a way that I had never experienced before. He has forgiven me for that life and has forgotten the horrible things I said and did. He rescued me from myself and set me free from all that pain I had been clinging to. My sins are forgiven and forgotten and I am a soul made new by His mercy and grace.

Be Set Free: Breaking the Chains of Captivity

I recently started my first Beth Moore Bible study. As I've been trekking through "Breaking Free" with a group of awesome girls, I've been asking God to set me free to be the woman He's created me to be. That is my prayer for you today.

I thought it'd be fitting to share her definition of captivity with you:

A believer is held captive by anything that hinders the abundant and effective Spirit-filled life God has planned for her.

I know what it is like to live disconnected from God and be in bondage and I know what it is like to know God and be a prisoner in my own soul. But while I am still a beautiful mess in progress, I also know what it's like to be free!

What is keeping you caged today from experiencing the freedom God intends for you? Is it a self-imposed prison such as pride or is it an oppressive prison such as clincial depression that has you shackled? Whatever prison you may find yourself in today, stand firm and do not surrender to a life of captivity. God has more for you my girl!

I pray that we will be girls who know the truth. And that the truth will set us FREE!

Random Thursday: "I Can Just See that Unborn Puppy...!"

Happy Thursday!

Ever since my family got a dog (see Myla below) two years ago, Allie has been PINING after having a puppy the way many women yearn for a human baby, a studly husband, or a vacation to Santorini.

After much planning on my mom's part, she sent Myla up to Northern California to marry (hey, we're Christian!) and honeymoon-it-up with my cousin's dog. Now she is very pregnant and Allie is obsessed with convincing her husband, Paul, to let her have one of Myla's babies. He ain't buyin' it.

Here is a typical conversation between the two of them. (It's okay to say it - she's CRAZY!)

Love,

Kayla

Living in Babylon

Hey wmGirls!

In an effort to keep this blog fresh and consistently updated, we've decided as an executive leadership team to take turns posting every week. My name is Natalie, and this week it's my turn! This is my first-ever post on the Wonderfully Made blog, aside from my guest post in January, and I'm excited to have more opportunities to share God’s truth with you!

We are all living in a modern-day Babylon, tried and tempted each day with the appealing pleasures of the world surrounding us. Do we serve our own desires, or do we pursue the will of our Creator and Redeemer? Do we bow down to the gods of our culture, or stay true to the One True God? Today I want to talk about standing firm in our faith while living in a culture that entices us with complete overindulgence and self-absorption.

Over the past few weeks, I've been studying the book of Daniel with my small group, via the genius DVDs of Beth Moore. If you've never done one of her studies, I highly recommend it! Silly as she can be, she is one smart woman who knows her scripture!

The story of Daniel takes place in ancient Babylon, a city with a culture that is not unlike our American way of life. Babylon valued youth, beauty and wealth, and lived by the motto, "I am, and there is none besides me" (Isaiah 47:8). Each week as we study the book verse by verse, we continually see the battle Daniel and his friends--Shadrach, Meshach and Abednago--are fighting to remain culturally relevant without becoming spiritually irrelevant. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

As we've been immersing ourself in the scripture and praying for wisdom in our study, I can't help but realize that my life right now is much like Daniel's—and yours probably is too! I live in a city that is not my home, surrounded by people who worship different gods--like money, appearance, success, popularity, and of course, self.

In many ways, north county San Diego feels like the New Age capital of the world. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good yoga class; but yoga is the way of life here. So many of the people I interact with and love in this city believe in the power within the self to make anything happen, and pursue total balance and control: control of the body, breath and mind. That sounds great, doesn’t it? Of course I’d love to create my own “perfect” world to live in and control everything in it. But that’s not real! We are not gods over our own lives; only the Lord is sovereign. Sure, we can live that way for a while, steeped deeply in the Babylonian mindset, "I am and there is none besides me," but we will end up disappointed.

My home is with Christ and my God is the only One who satisfies, redeems and delivers, but it's easy and tempting to think otherwise when the other options are so enticing and self-gratifying. My challenge is the same as Daniel's: how do I stay true to my God and live with intergrity and humility when the culture around me is so overindulgent and self-serving?

Yesterday we studied Daniel 3, which is the story of The Fiery Furnace. During his reign over Babylon, King Nebuchadnezzer built a 90ft gold statue of himself and demanded that whenever his people heard the sound of "the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music" they were required to fall down and worship the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up. Anyone who disobeyed faced death by the fiery furnace. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego saw the furnace blazing, felt the heat and smelled the smoke, but they refused to bow down and worship:

"O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up" (Daniel 3:16-18).

In the end, God saves them and his name is made more famous. While living in an idol-worshiping, self-absorbed culture, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego made God’s name KNOWN.

Our purpose—just like theirs was—is not to make our name greater, but to make Him known. “He must become greater; I must become less” (John 3:30).

I hope that is the mark I can leave on this city. May I become less and He become greater.

Amen.

This One's For the Girls: Guest Post by wmGirl Chrissy Conway

Today's guest blog is written by Chrissy Conway, who I recently had the privilege of meeting at our most recent Wonderfully Made HEAL Workshop at Saddleback Church in Orange County. Chrissy is passionate about being the kind of woman young girls can look up to.I hope you enjoy today's post and encourage you to share it with some of the younger girls in your life! -Allie

One of my favorite songs is called “This One’s For The Girls”by Martina McBride. The first part of the song is dedicated to girls around the age of 13.

“This one's for all you girls about thirteen
High school can be so rough, can be so mean
Hold onto, on to your innocence
Stand your ground when everyone's giving in”

Being "about 13" is tough...(12-14 in my opinion)

You’re just figuring out who your friends are or who you want your friends to be and boys are involved and your relationship with God is being challenged more than it ever has. Emotions you didn’t even know existed come to surface and usually all at once and in the course of an hour.

Gossip starts to rear its ugly head. Times when I didn’t even mean to say something about someone else it slipped out and my words were twisted and before I knew it someone was mad at me! Hurt feelings, boys, drama and more drama.

So this post is for the girls about 13....I know what you’re feeling and I know its tough. Here are some things I learned and wish I knew at the time.

• Drama isn’t fun- remove yourself from it.
• Don’t listen to the mean girls-they’re most likely jealous of how amazing you are.
• Don’t be a mean girl.
• Don’t repeat anything you hear and don’t talk about anyone behind their back.
• If you’re shy or self-conscious, don’t worry everyone is.
• You are beautiful just the way you are so don’t be afraid to be yourself.
• Sometimes your friends will be mean and when they say sorry forgive them.
• Being popular won't make you as happy as you think
• Always do what you know is right-even if the other option seems cooler.
• There’s nothing wrong with being called a goodie-goodie.
• Don’t make fun of others.
• Praying constantly in a tough situation will help.
• When you feel the lowest, God will always listen to you and be there.
• No boy is worth hurting a friendship.
• Find out who your true friends are and always be true to them.
• Laugh at yourself.
• Don’t listen to gossip and don’t spread it.
• If your friends start doing things they shouldn’t, don’t join them, find other friends who share the same morals.
• Your parents do not want to make your life miserable, even though it seems that way sometimes. They only want to keep you safe. Just trust them.
• Caution: A cute guy will take over your brain. Don’t worry this is normal but make sure he’s a nice guy too!
• When you're upset, it seems like the end of the world…I know but I promise you it’s not. And you can take comfort in the fact that God has already worked it all out.
• Put your relationship with God first, that is the key to everything else working out.
• Time really will heal your broken heart
• Liking a guy who doesn’t like you stinks…but it’s only as awkward as you make it
• Being a young Christian is hard, but you’re not alone in that. If you’re struggling talk to someone.

Read Chrissy's blog here.

Watch the music video to Martina McBride's song here

Photo by Katee Grace.

Random Thursday!

Introducing ... Random Thursdays ... we'll post something silly/random/hotkward to make you think or laugh (hopefully)!

In case you're wondering who this random crazy girl is - it's Kayla, one of our Regional Chapter Directors just being her dorky self. If you girls have any funny/random/hotkward videos you think are worthy of sharing please send them our way - email us at info@wonderfullymade.org! We hope Random Thursdays (whether it's every Thursday or just random Thursdays!) will make you smile.

Anthem for Mission Self-Forgetfulness

Just Monday, Melissa (check out yesterday's debut of "HerStory" to meet her!!) emailed me the following lyrics as she found them super fitting for "Mission Self-Forgetfulness." I couldn't agree more, so I've decided to share them with you. There is freedom is self-forgetfulness!

House of Mirrors by Tenth Avenue North

You can’t seem to see past your own reflection
Caught up in the halls of your introspection
And you’re staring at your mirror on the wall
Asking “who is the fairest of them all?”
‘Cause Lord I know, it’s not me
If only you could see
That you’ve already been set free

Well come on, come on
Let’s throw our mirrors down
Yeah come on, come on
Let’s shatter the glass on the ground

Well you say “hold on, if I could just try this one thing.
Well I know I can change and that would change everything”
But a house made of mirrors never helped you see any clearer
It’s yourself you can’t see past
And Lord, isn’t that just like me?
If only we could see, that He’s already set us free

Well come on, come on
Let’s throw our mirrors down
Yeah come on, come on
Let’s shatter the glass on the ground

Oh, oh
Freedom’s waiting for you now
So come on, come on
And throw your mirrors down

Come on, if you’re tired take a step outside
You might find that you can forget about yourself tonight
Oh, come on if you’re tired of failed attempts to try
Freedom’s waiting when you look outside
Come on, if you’re tired take a step outside
You might find you can forget about yourself tonight
Yeah, come if you’re tired of your failed attempts to try
Freedom is waiting when you look outside

Well come on, come on
Let’s throw our mirrors down
Yeah come on, come on
Let’s shatter the glass on the ground
Freedom’s waiting for you now
So come on, come on and throw your mirrors down

You can listen to the full song here.

HerStory

Every Tuesday we will be featuring a different girl sharing HerStory... a brief testimony or reflection on her relationship with the Lord. It's an awesome way to see God at work in each other's lives! Here's our debut!
Melissa Marie Martin

That name is the name that now appears on documents like my voter’s ballot. It’s the name on my driver’s license, my jury duty summons, and all kinds of official old people papers. But it is funny to think that it’s the same one I used to write in crayon on my self-portraits in kindergarten. It’s my birthday this week, and I will have carried that name with me for 20 years. But even though my name is the same, who I am underneath is so different from who I was back then.

Obviously I’m not a three foot tall kindergartener running around the playground pretending to be Sailor Moon anymore. I’ve grown up and become a woman and all that. I’ve spent two years in college and been through 20 years worth of life experiences that have all shaped the girl behind the name. But the biggest changes have definitely been in the past three years.

In the past three years I have:
· Gotten to know and understand who Jesus is and what He’s done for me.
· Been humbled by the fact that I don’t have, and never will have all the answers.
· Been blessed (spoiled, really) with an awesome family, lifelong friends, a stellar education, perfectly fitting job opportunities, and countless amazing memories.
· Finally put to rest the notion that God works like a genie. Or a math problem. Or anything else we think we can figure out.
· Fought some battles that I never thought I’d have the strength for.
· Solidified my faith through the truth in God’s Word.
· Coined the terms “heaven homesickness” and “soul crush” (ask me).
· Broken free from some pretty heavy chains and let go of a lot of things God has asked me to give up to Him.
· Accepted my identity as a new creation.

That last one is huge. In the musical “Thoroughly Modern Millie” there’s a line from the song “Not for the Life of Me” where the main character (Millie, of course) sings “Don’t you know that where I am ain’t where I was?” I saw this play two weeks ago and that line was such a slap in the face! I don’t know if a lot of other Christians feel this way but sometimes I get so caught up in my “testimony” or my life before Christ that I forget the fact that I’m a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). That girl from the past isn’t me anymore! I’m not defined by her. Yes it's important to know that girl and to learn from her mistakes and love her all the same. But though I might still struggle with things that I used to struggle with, don’t you know that where I am ain’t where I was? I’ve got the Holy Spirit within me and that frees me from the chains and demons of yesterday. Pretty awesome.

God’s been showing me a mirror that’s different than the one I look at when I wake up in the morning. He’s showing me the being that I am in His eyes. The woman who is empowered by Christ to conquer sin. The girl who is free to dream and delight and be herself. And THAT girl is Melissa Marie Martin. :)

Melissa is Co-Director of Wonderfully Made @ Santa Clara University for the upcoming school year.

Seasons

There are happy seasons and sad seasons. There are seasons of overflowing joy and celebration, of connectedness and clarity. But there are also seasons of despair of the deepest, most agonizing kind - seasons when the world constantly seems to splinter your heart leaving you bent over from wounds of loneliness, anxiety and an overwhelming sense of worthlessness. I know both seasons well.

Translucent tears gathered in the corners of her dusty brown eyes as the distant memory of my dark night resurfaced. I had once been there. These days angst and heartache are her traveling companions, while abundant joy and wholeness have replaced the dangerous depression that once hovered over my soul.

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, (1 Peter 3:15).

God has brought me through the season of the wintery night and while I don't know what lies ahead, I know we who are His are called to pass the torch of hope onto those who have none. What season of life does this new day find you? Is it you who needs to know that joy comes in the morning or is God calling you to share His hope with someone He has placed in your life?

*Photograph by Katee Grace.

WM Spotlight: JJ Heller Interview

This past weekend I got to sit down and talk with the fabulous, talented and sweet-as-ever JJ Heller following a private concert at FINDINGbalance's "Hungry for Hope" Conference in Colorado Springs. JJ & I talked hair secrets, San Jose (our hometown!), brokenness and redemption. She also shared the story behind the writing of her hit song "Your Hands" and how it made it's big debut on the show "So You Think You Can Dance."

What sets JJ Heller's music apart is her refreshing acoustic-folk style, coupled with raw and authentic lyrics that speak truth to our splintered, home-sick souls. JJ's redemptive message of hope keeps me and her thousands of fans pressing repeat.

Sunday afternoon following the conference, I sang and prayed along to the songs from her albums "Painted Red" & "The Pretty & Plain" as I laid sprawled on the grass, soaking in in the Colorado sunshine shaded by pine trees and towering formations of red rock. I felt completely free and fully alive.

Check out JJ Heller's website and listen to her music here. Keep watching the video to see clips from the private concert!

Day 8: Mission Self-Forgetfulness

So I cheated and finally plucked my eyebrows (hint, hint*). Yes, I looked in the mirror. In fact I looked in the mirror multiple times, although not as obsessively as I normally do. The perfectionist in me feels like I’ve already failed at this challenge completely and should just quit altogether. But I’m going to stick it out and continue sharing my insights regardless of how un-insightful and ridiculous they may be. I apologize in advance if this post is more than underwhelming. (Smile).

It was an interesting weekend for me to be in the midst of this challenge. I attended FINDINGbalance’s Hungry for Hope Conference in Colorado Springs, a wonderful event at which I was asked to serve on an author’s panel with Judy and several others. So let’s say that the narcissist in me was just a tad bit overly concerned about how others would perceive me.

Nevertheless, there are some things I’m learning:

1) Consciously trying to forge the habit of self-forgetfulness is fruitful, but blogging about the process is probably counter-productive. Let me illustrate:

o I somewhat obsessively check the comments section to see if anyone has found my posts worthy of written reflection.

o In the women’s restroom this weekend, I was embarrassingly paranoid someone might catch me glancing at my reflection for a millisecond, concerned they may have read about “Mission Self-Forgetfulness” and find me out (this reeks of legalism & self-absorption!).

2) Committing myself to taking a young homeless woman on a shopping spree is noble, but telling all of blog-sphere about my good deed is Pharisaical.

3) The two most self-refining challenges (of the five I set for myself) have been writing hand-written notes to people in my life and practicing the art of gentle interrogation.

4) Admitting my self-absorption is actually quite cathartic. Hi, my name is Allie and I’m a self-aholic. Yes, admitting it is the first step to recovery!

PS: Check tomorrow's blog for my interview with JJ Heller!!!

*If you’re still wondering what the odd sign is of, it has to do a certain eyebrow style. The first to answer correctly under June 1^st will win a copy of HEAL.

*I took this photo this weekend at Glen Eyrie Conference Center in CO.

Blessed Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller

Hey Girls!!!

I wanted to encourage and invite you each to listen to this excerpt of a message by Pastor Timothy Keller titled "Blessed Self-forgetfulness." It was what inspired me to embark on this challenge and I think it will give you some good insights to ponder!

LISTEN HERE.

Give it a listen and feel free to share your thoughts below!

I'll be back soon to report on my latest insights during Mission Self-forgetfulness! In the meantime, my eyebrows are continuing to grow wild!

Love & Hugs,

Allie

Day 1: Mission Self-Forgetfulness

Hey Girls!

So today was the first day of Mission Self-Forgetfuless. I'm curious if any of you girls are going to take on this challenge and specifically what your "self-forgetful assignments" are. Please share! I really hope you'll be joining me because I seriously need your support (I already feel like I'm failing miserably).

Here's a recap (from my May 3rd post) behind the inspiration for this odd mission and the list of my 5 self-forgetful challenges.

"The most beautiful and emotionally healthy people I know are the most self-forgetful. Sick and tired of my vain, self-centered concerns and inspired by a message I stumbled across through my friends at the True Campaign titled "Blessed Self-forgetfulness" by Timothy Keller, I am reluctant, but committed to give this assignment my best shot. I have compiled a list of 5 challenges designed to annihilate my narcissistic, self-focused alter ego:

1) Log off of FB

2) Execute the Art of Snail Mail

3) Avoid the Mirror

4) Practice the Art of Gentle Interrogation

5) Give A Stranger a Shopping Spree

*read the summary of these challenges on my May 3rd blog.

Today's Insights

• I need to try harder. I've got to keep it real and tell you I don't feel mentally or spiritually ready for this challenge. I had the best of intentions of preparing myself for this huge undertaking yesterday (Memorial Day) through prayer and journaling, but I was too busy getting sunburned, drinking sweet tea and eating BBQ chicken. If I hadn't told you of my plans to do this challenge I think I would have continued being even more perpetually self-centered.
• I wish I would have plucked my eyebrows yesterday. Dangit Allie.
• Boredom is the ideal opportunity to be outward-focused. I set aside my first moment of boredom (code word for laziness) to write my sweet cousin a graduation card. It made my spirit smile in a way thinking up witty status updates never could.
• My biggest baby step was refraining from the temptation to look in the mirror and freshen up before youth group - instead I prayed for some of the girls. Something I don't do enough.
• Girls who daily post new pictures of just themself really ought to give this challenge a try.

Nighty night girls. xo

PS> The first person to interpret today's photo will get a copy of HEAL!

HEAL Workshop Video - Saddleback Church

HEAL Promo from Shade Tree Films on Vimeo.

Email us at info@wonderfullymade.org to host a HEAL Workshop!