Random Thursday: Free People: Fishtail Braid How-To

by Allie Marie Smith

So as you probably know, feathers and fishtail braids are "the rage" this spring and summer. The hippie tendencies in me have been coveting a feather or two in my hair, but I haven't taken the plunge yet.

One of my goals this summer is to master the fish-tail braid. It's going to be challenge considering I hardly brush my hair in the morning. I found this how-to video from Free People I thought you girls would like:

What are some of the fun, simple things like fish-tail braids or flavored lip gloss that make you appreciate being a girl?

For My Single Ladies: Ramblings from a Married Girl

by Allie Marie Smith

Lately, I’ve been having some real, raw conversations with my single girls. While I am happily married you should know that I am a huge advocate of the joys, trials, lessons, and adventures the life of a wise single girl offers. So if you’re doing life “solo” as you will, here are four lessons (or ramblings) I’ve learned from my own journey and from doing life with my single friends.

Your significance isn’t rooted in whether or not you have a significant other.
One of the greatest lies we as girls believe is unless our Facebook status says “In a relationship,” “engaged” or “married” we’re not good enough and can’t be content, secure and fulfilled. You plus God equals enough. You plus God plus the man He chooses for you also equals enough. With Christ you are complete. You are significant. Your dreams, your passions, your quirks, talents and hopes.

Soak up the season of singleness. One day you very well might miss it.
Shortly after Paul and I got engaged, my friend Ashley gave me some unexpected advice that totally shifted my perspective. She shared that while the engagement season is one of celebration and bliss, it should also be a sweet time of mourning over the loss of your singleness. That thought rocked me, but she was so right. Never again would I have such personal freedom and greater dependence on and intimacy with the Lord.

As a girl who absolutely loves being married, I am somewhat envious of my single girlfriends who are having wild adventures across the globe - backpacking Europe, surfing waves in Australia, doing extended mission trips, having the liberty to flirt, going on occasional dates and living in a house with some of their closest girlfriends.

The most emotionally fragile girls are those who jump from relationship to relationship.
I believe this is the "red-flag" if-you-will of a girl who is not secure in her worth. Chronic dating, emotionally promiscuity and sexual intimacy before marriage cause major scars. Giving bits and pieces of your heart to guy after guy is draining. And giving your body away to guy after guy (or any guy other than your hubs) is the surest way to leave your heart shredded, bruised and broken. If you find yourself going from relationship to relationship and fearfully avoiding dateless nights without a guy to flirt with or talk to, I challenge you to courageously savor a season of uninterrupted singleness.

Seek the Lord. Travel. Read the Bible. Write down your dreams. Volunteer. Take up a new sport. Make your single life a glorious adventure and guard your heart beautiful for it is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23). Then when you are secure in your true identiy as a daughter of God and content, the one chosen for your just might come along. But don't let that be your life's hope and until then stop searching and start living – just you, Jesus, your family and your dancing queen girlfriends.

One of the best gifts a girl can have is a long uninterrupted season of singleness.
After my first and only "boyfriend" (besides my husband) broke up with me at the fragile age of 14, I entered into what seemed to be a perpetual period of boy-less-ness. Looking back, I know now that my dateless Friday nights were one of the best gifts God gave me. They forced me to wrestle my insecurities head on, write my own dreams, and safeguarded my heart. After my world-shaking God-encounter at 18 when I chose to live passionately after Jesus, my season of singleness provided me with the opportunity to build my value and worth in Him alone and experience profound intimacy in a unique way marriage doesn’t offer.

What do you think about my 4 ramblings? Let your thoughts, dating disasters, and single-girl lessons be heard...

Princess Party

by Kayla Mertes

What started as a casual conversation with some 4-year-old preschool girls about dressing up as princesses... ended up being a full-blown magical unicorn marshmallow rainbow fairy tale Pink Princess Wonderland Party.

We had a pink throne, tiaras, Disney decorations throughout the house, a beauty station (where hot pink nail polish and bubble gum lipstick got a bit out of hand ;) princess crafts ... and a 3-course meal of mac 'n cheese, heart-shaped PB&J sandwiches, and sprinkled cupcakes.

The best part was telling the girls how much God loves them, that they are daughters of the King, and that He is enthralled by their beauty...that real princesses are even lovelier on the inside than on the outside. We read this wonderful book and my sweet friend played a song she wrote about Queen Esther while the girls twirled and laughed. It was a more precious and blessed experience than I could have dreamed up.

P.S. I got to wear my grandma's wedding dress (from 46 years ago!)

HerStory: Bethany Hamilton (and FREE Giveaway!!!)

by Allie Marie Smith

I was so excited to find out from Bethany's sister in-law's Becky's FB page that Bethany's story was just featured on I Am Second. So I can't wait to share it with you girls for today's HerStory feature. In 2007 Becky directed and produced Heart of a Soul Surfer (in partnership with Walking on Water) which offers a first-hand look into the true story and life of Bethany Hamilton (her then future sister-in-law), who lost her arm to a major shark attack.

Here's Bethany's story in her own words...

The promise of Romans 8:28 has been made evident across the world through Bethany's resilience and humble heart:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

On April 8th, Sony will release Soul Surfer - the theatrical film of the Bethany Hamilton story featuring AnnaSophia Robb (as Bethany), Carrie Underwood, Helen Hunt & Dennis Quad.

We want to encourage you to gather a small army of girls to see Soul Surfer when it releases on April 8th.

We'll send a free copy of the original documentary Heart of a Soul Surfer and Christina DiMari's book "Ocean Star" to the first 3 girls to email us a picture of their movie night!

Here's how to plan your movie night and enter the giveaway:

1. Find out the closest theatre Soul Surfer is playing near you.
2. Create a FB event and invite all the girls and women you know to go (be sure to encourage them to pre-order their ticket as it might sell out!).
3. Take a group picture and email it to us at info@wonderfullymade.org. We'll post them on our blog and email them to Bethany.

facebook, appearance & attention.

by Natalie Lynn Borton

Last month I wrote about the comparison game--specifically through the lens of social media and our fractured view of others' lives. Then this morning Erin sent me a link to an LA Times article on Facebook, appearance and attention--through the lens of our own desire to manipulate others' perception of us--and I knew I needed to share it with you girls. Happy reading!

Women who post lots of photos of themselves on Facebook value appearance, need attention, study finds

by Shari Roan, Los Angeles Times

A study on how people use social networking websites such as Facebook confirms what many of us suspected. Women who post loads of photos of themselves on their sites are conveying some strong personal characteristics, according to new research. These women are more likely to base their self-worth on appearance and use social networking to compete for attention.

The study involved 311 men and women with an average age of 23. In order to better understand aspects of social networking behavior, the researchers looked at the amount of time subjects spent managing profiles, the number of photos they shared, the size of their online networks and how promiscuous they were in terms of “friending” behavior. The participants completed a questionnaire designed to measure self worth and were asked about their typical behaviors on Facebook.

There were differences between women and men. Overall, the results suggest that, compared with men, females identify more strongly with their image and appearance and use Facebook to compete for attention, said the lead author of the study, Michael A. Stefanone, an assistant professor of communications at the University of Buffalo.

The women who had the largest social networks and posted more photos of themselves were more highly vested in their appearance.

“The results suggest persistent differences in the behavior of men and women that result from a cultural focus on female image and appearance,” Stefanone said in a news release. “[I]t is disappointing to me that in the year 2011 so many young women continue to assert their self worth via their physical appearance — in this case, by posting photos of themselves on Facebook as a form of advertisement. Perhaps this reflects the distorted value pegged to women’s looks throughout the popular culture and in reality programming from ‘The Bachelor’ to ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians.’ ”

The authors also speculated that posting a lot of photos of oneself in the company of other people “may serve to communicate the importance of particular relationships because these bonds may provide security regarding ones appearance and self worth.”

The people who tended to base their self worth on things like academic competence, family love and support, and being a virtuous or moral person spent less time online and showed less interest in attention-seeking through social media.

How has Facebook impacted your source and sense of self-worth?

Wonderfully Made Conference (Central Coast - Santa Barbara County)

by Allie Marie Smith

In case you haven't heard, we'll be hosting a Wonderfully Made Conference on Saturday, May 14th at Grace Baptist Church in Santa Maria - nestled in between San Luis Obispo & Santa Barbara. Kayla, Christie & myself will be speaking and we hope you can join us.

Registration is open soon - you'll want to sign up quick as space is limited. For more details, check our FB invite HERE. And if you live in northern CA, join us for our SCU chapter's spring seminar on April 9th! If you don't live in CA, I hope we can make it to your home state soon...keep dreaming and praying with us!

Retail Therapy: Where Does Our Worth Come From?

by Arielle Royer

A few years ago, I was really into fashion & style. I mean really. I bought all kinds of style magazines, went onto tons of fashion blogs, and went shopping all the time. I constantly checked to see what all of the celebrities were wearing and what brands were the best. I'm talking about two hundred-dollar jeans and a dress in every color. It really became such a distraction in my life. I felt like I was wasting so much time on something that really didn't mean much of anything.

Fashion and shopping are not bad within themselves, they really aren't. However, so much of my time was focused on what I wore and how I looked rather than one: being content with what I had and two: focusing my attention on the eternal rather than temporary things. My desire to look and dress nice was not bad, but my motivation was. I was motivated to focus my attention on my looks so that I could gain approval from others. I was unhappy with what I had and how I looked rather than finding my value in Christ.

"If I need jewelry, makeup, or fashionable clothing to feel valuable, I have transformed those objects into idols because I expect from them what I can receive only from the One I claim to worship." -Regina Franklin

We live in America where we are constantly bombarded with materialism and tips on how we can look more beautiful. Our worth is found by the way we look, the clothes we wear, and from physical beauty. This is a lie has taken over so much of our generation. My heart breaks for young women, who are constantly chasing after this false beauty and materialism which will never satisfy. No matter how many pairs of shoes you have, no matter if you have the right brand of makeup- you will still want more. Sure, the little indulgences will make you happy, but only for a short time. A real and lasting joy can only come from Him. You are made beautiful in His eyes regardless of the clothes you wear and your appearance.

"In other words, I must choose to see myself as God sees me. I must choose to consider all things in my life in light of their spiritual importance. I must choose to set aside the world's definitely of beauty.....rather than making sure that my hair is in the right place, I ensure that my heart is in the right place. Rather than worrying that my jewelry doesn't match my outfit, I contemplate whether my attitude matches what i profess to believe. Rather than wondering if others see me physically beautiful, I focus on whether others see Christ's spitirual beauty in me. But the process is not without struggle." -Regina Franklin

Can you relate? What's your relationship with fashion and shopping?

HerStory: Rachel - From Abduction to Adoption

Have you ever seen an ad about an abducted child? You know, the ones where the child is smiling and happy and the abductor looks totally lame? Well, I was once on those ads some years ago—as the child abducted.

I was three, innocent and full of hope. My father had told me that we were going to Disneyland when in fact, we were on a plane to the Philippines. For most people, including myself, this is not considered abduction. He is my father, after all. However, as I have gained perspective (think of my mother and the rest of my family here in the States), I decided that the term is appropriate. I was at an age where I could not decide for myself. My father, out of good intentions for me and himself, robbed my mother of her right to raise me.

The good out of this situation was that my mother was free from the physical and verbal abuse that was inflicted on her. I witnessed this as a child, something to be grasped. In a different light, I grew up thinking that abuse was a normal way to be treated. When I was taken to the Philippines, I had to study Tagalog as a part of the school curriculum. With dread, I got a C in that 2nd grade class. I was “disciplined” for it by my father. Years later, the “disciplining” got worse, it sometimes involved knives, needles or broken broomsticks when I was disobedient or “immoral”. Some nights, I could not lie down on my bed because of pain I was experiencing. I wasn’t safe. I needed to get away. I ran away.

I was 16, fresh out of high school, and mad at the world whilst fearing it. I met my mother and my sister and struggled with those relationships as well. I was guarded and faithless. I turned to drugs, alcohol and partying. By the time I was 18, I was deep in depression. I wanted to take my own life and I had no one to turn to.

I met Nash sophomore year in college. With my bitter heart, his exuberating love was a foreign concept. I later learned that it was His love for Christ that gave him the joy that he had. I wanted it for myself. He invited me to church where I learned about Christ and was called into the faith. My heart was made new. Nash and I have been courting for 3 years now and plan to marry when the time is right.

The things I do for Christ is nothing in comparison to what He did for me on that cross. I am convicted by this. It is my resolve, therefore, to give up all I have—literally-- and walk the earth proclaiming His gospel. I am selling all my personal belongings and going to India, China and back to the Philippines.

This is the beginning of my story. What is yours?

We invite you to check out Rachel's blog and peak into her world here. If you would like to submit your story for our HerStory feature, email us at info@wonderfullymade.org.

Wonderfully Made at Santa Clara University

This fall will mark seven years since the very beginning of our first official chapter of Wonderfully Made at Santa Clara University. Since the day I put up three posters in the women's bathroom about WM, God has faithfully been bringing together amazing girls who are committed to growing in Christ and doing life together. As the team prepares for their 6th annual spring seminar (or young women's event) on April 9th, we wanted to thank and honor each and every woman who has been a part of Wonderfully Made at Santa Clara. Here's to a lifetime of memories and lasting friendships. Thanks for your faithfulness and for reminding us what it's all about.

Love,
Allie & Kayla

"Far Above Rubies & Pearls" 2006

"beLoved" 2007

"Worthy" 2008

"Irresistible" 2009

"Know Your Value" 2010

"Radiant" 2011

Join us April 9th, 2011... Visit the FB event here for details!

Kum ba yah: On Getting "Emo" and Being Kind To One Another

by Allie Marie Smith

I just finished speaking to about 20 junior high girls at our local Christian school about the many truths behind what it means to be "wonderfully made" by God.

I have the privilege of leading a six-week girls-only chapel series and I'm enjoying these precious girls more every week.

I got a little emo and the end (which I've been known to do when I speak!) and ended our time together with an impromptu "kum ba yah" style hug. I asked them to look one another in the eye and promise themselves they would kind and gentle with one another. I saw sweetness and sincerity in their sparkling eyes.

"Do you promise?" I asked.

"Yes," they said as they nodded their pretty little heads.

To close I had them stack their petite, different-colored arms and hands in the center of the circle and on the count of three scream "WE ARE WONDERFULLY MADE!"

I think they think I'm crazy. But I think they kind of liked it!

Speaking of kindness, I know you girls will be stoked on what our friends from The Kind Campaign are doing:

Why do you think girls can be so unkind to one another? Have you ever personally experienced the hurt of another girl's unkindness?

Lent: It's About Jesus

by Natalie Lynn Borton

Today is Ash Wednesday, which some of you may know marks the beginning of the season of Lent, a 40-day period of time before Easter.

“The word ‘lent’ comes from the Latin word for ‘lengthen,’ because the days of Lent occur during the springtime of the year, when the daylight hours increase. The period consists of 40 days because the number 40 has special biblical significance: Moses and the people of Israel were in the wilderness for 40 years; Jesus was tempted in the desert for 40 days. Since the days of the early church, in the decades and centuries after the death and Resurrection of Christ, Christians have regarded the period of Lent as a time for repentence and reflection. It is invariably marked by fasting (going without food and/or water for a period of time), by giving up something during Lent (sweets; the sports page), and by taking on such habits that will increase one’s devotion to Christ.” (www.pcusa.org/lent)

Although sacrifice and fasting are certainly part of observing Lent, it's important for us to remember that it's not about the sacrifice we choose to make or our discipline in fasting--it's about Jesus.

"Anything that makes us less self-indulgent and more aware of our responsibilities to our neighbor can be helpful. But let’s not miss the larger goal, the greater reason. The point of the Christian walk is to become like Christ, and Lent—the fasting, the prayers, the repentance, the self-discipline—is there to help us on the journey." -Joel J. Miller

Will you observe Lent this year? If so, what will you do (or not do) to become more like Jesus?

If We Don’t Know Our Value: In Honor of International Women’s Day

by Allie Marie Smith

March 8th marks International Women's Day, "a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future."

Women are proven world-changers and single-life influencers.

We are daughters and sisters, girlfriends and mentors, future wives and moms; ministers, educators, volunteers, business women, and social change agents.

But something tragic is happening. Too many of us don't know our value and are broken and bent-over from life:

• Up to 20% of girls age 10-19 are experiencing episodes of major depression
• Roughly 1 in 3 women will have an abortion 1 in 4 will be sexually abused before the age of 18
• As many as 10 million girls and women are fighting a life and death battle with an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia
• Only 2 % of women describe themselves as beautifulIn 2005, about one-tenth of all teenage girls tried to end their lives
• The prevalence of self-injury among teenage girls and young women is rising dramatically

Unless our generation of girls discovers and walks in our true value, we'll never be able to effectively influence the world, our community or our neighbors.

If America wants to help solve the social and economic problems facing women both globally and locally, I suggest she invest more in the lives of the girls on her home-front. Amazing things happen when a girl knows her value in Christ.

Just read the stories behind causes like 31 Bits, Mercy Ministries, International Princess Project, Love Your Flawz, and Sseko Designs or watch the following stories of just a few of the girls in Wonderfully Made:

My hope is WM will be a movement of everyday girls doing extraordinary things for God because they know their true identity & purpose.

In honor of International Women's Day, will you consider supporting Wonderfully Made?

Music Monday: Gungor "God is Not a White Man" Music Video

by Allie Marie Smith

Hey Lovelies...

I thought you'd like this clever music video by the band Gungor. Kayla, Christie, Katee & I got to hear them in concert this past week at a leadership conference in Orange County. They also played more mellow originals (my fav songs of theirs) which seemed to especially cultivate a time of worship. The hippie in me loves their funky, unconventional, eclectic style. And Lisa Gungor makes me especially wish I was at least marginally musically inclined.

God is love. And unlike us, He loves liberally. God loves the unloveable but isn't always loved in return and for Christ followers, He calls us to do the same, though we obviously fall short. But the reality and depth of His love is not complete without the best truth of all:

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Why do you think so many people misunderstand God?

Secret Struggles

by Allie Marie Smith

Lately some big faith questions have been churning inside my mind and heart, driving me mad. I'm scared to confess they make me want to run and hide and call this ministry thing quits. For days I've wrestled with whether or not to talk about these uncertainties and questions. But this I know:

Secrets are dangerous when they remain untold.

Thursday night I exposed my big questions, doubts and fears to Kayla, one of my sweet besties. Through my heavy, silent sobs and mascara-run cheeks she listened, ran her fingers through my hair and spoke truth and affirmation.

Through her and a message at a conference this morning, I heard God's still, small voice: Your fears and doubts do not disqualify you from being used by God. Every authentic believer wrestles with God at one time or another.

My heart is not proud, LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted myself,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.
Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore. (Psalm 131)

Photo by Katee Grace (Copyrighted)

Love on the Offensive

by Allie Marie Smith

I've been thinking about a simple thought that frightens and excites me: We should love from an offensive stance rather than a defensive position.

The truth is, I've lived my life loving people from a defensive position. I wait until my heart feels safe. I keep me walls up and rarely look to love someone longing to be noticed, cared for, and nurtured. I love people only when I think I'll be loved in return.

But how do we really, truly love proactively and offensively; love without walls, fear or judgement? And why is it so hard?

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. -1 John 3:18

What's your love-stance? How would your life be different if you loved more from an offensive, not defensive position?