Thursday, July 28, 2011

Grace or Discipline

by Natalie Lynn Borton

Grace or discipline--which do you need? Lately I've realized that there are different seasons for each, and it always balances out.

If you've heard my story, you know that for most of my life I was a Type A perfectionist. I was a good girl who did (almost) everything right--I went to church every week, prayed every night, studied hard, went to college, ate healthy and exercised often. I followed all of the rules because it just seemed to be the way I was wired.

But somewhere along the line, I realized that by following all of the rules I was doing something wrong. The more I grew in my faith and understood the God of Grace, I realized that I refused to fully submit myself to His love. By following rules and living a (unhealthily) disciplined life, I was missing out on the fullness of the relationship with God that I'd been trying to cultivate.

In time, I surrendered. I let myself make mistakes. I learned to love and to be loved. I ate foods that were once considered "unsafe," and I abandoned my habitual gym habit. Self-discipline ruled my life and shaped my world, but in order to grow I needed to abandon it and trade it in for grace.

Though grace was what I needed, I eventually got lost in it, using grace as license to live as I pleased and not care for my body. Freedom turned into bondage. I felt enslaved to my whims and found it impossible to say no to any and all of my desires.

I finally see that I'm in a season of discipline and if I'm really honest, it scares me a bit. I fear the unforgiving perfectionism of my past and the possibility of turning Godly obedience into rigid self-discipline. But fear is no reason to avoid what's needed. Ultimately we need to trust that whatever season we're in, God leads us lovingly and we experience His freedom in both.

For my whole life I needed grace, and for the past few years (and now still) I've needed discipline. They are two sides of the same coin, always working hand in hand to refine and sanctify us.

Which season are you in, grace or discipline?

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Disciplines of Freedom for My HEAL Journey

by Allie Marie Smith

Whenever I host HEAL Workshops or share about the book, I am quick to reassure girls that I am still on my HEAL Journey - I don't have it all figured out!

I have experienced a ton of freedom on my HEAL Journey, but l know that God’s not done with me yet and there’s lots more freedom where that came from! One of the greatest perks about being a work in progress is that in my struggles God never fails to teach me something new.

Lately, my struggles have been teaching me that there are several disciplines I need to daily practice to experience freedom from poor body image and disordered eating. Freedom is not free - you have to fight for it. Freedom flows from obedience mixed with a whole lot of grace. As Hebrews says "Discipline is never pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

Here are six disciplines of freedom I daily need to practice to experience freedom on my HEAL Journey:

  1. Abide in Christ - have daily quiet time and pray continuously.
  2. Eat within the boundaries of hunger and satisfaction.
  3. Enjoy 5-6 challenging workouts a week.*
  4. Refrain from critiquing other women’s bodies and comparing myself.
  5. Make beneficial and nutritious food choices and enjoy an occasional treat.
  6. Do not restrict foods from my diet or deprive myself.

What do you think about my “Disciplines of Freedom”? What actions help you experience freedom from poor body image and disordered eating?

*The athlete in me craves more exercise than most people. This is the amount of exercise I function best with. It’s different for everyone, but I do recommend doing at least 20 minutes of exercise three times a week. As always consult your doctor before starting any new exercise regimen.

Monday, July 25, 2011

The Friends With Benefits Epidemic

The following article by Lauren Lankford originally appeared on the RELEVANT Magazine website last Thursday. Lauren Lankford is founder and editor of Good Women Project. She also writes on sex, relationships, dealing with pain and following Jesus on her personal blog. You can follow her on Twitter here.

Friendships and sex have been around since the beginning of time, but it’s our generation that puts them into the same phrase—and the same bedroom. From high school hallways to movie theater screens, “friends with benefits” is sold to us as a new combination as simple, acceptable and wonderful as mac-and-cheese.

No one wakes up and decides sex is just sex, or making out is just making out. No one wakes up and announces over coffee, "Today, I'm going to fall head over heels in love with someone I'd never marry." I didn't.

I remember being a freshman in high school, believing heart and soul that I would wait for marriage to have sex. I'd never kissed a boy, and I didn't plan on it until I was engaged. Fast-forward four or five years, and I've made out for fun, for comfort, for love and for revenge. Fast-forward another two or three years, and I'm sleeping with someone I'm not even dating.

Why does it happen? Because we are broken people. And because God created sex and physical affection as a phenomenal part of what is meant to heal us: intimate, committed love with another human being. But when we don't know how our body and heart work, we tend to do long-term damage to ourselves instead of long-term good. Read more >>

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

WM Spotlight: The Twenty Pieces Project

by Allie Marie Smith

Hey Lovely Girls,

I'm so excited to introduce you to Cate and Julie--two writers, spiritual directors, friends and SoCal girls looking to live outside the siren song of materialism and consumerism. They are the creatives behind The Twenty Pieces Project, a self-initiated challenge to live for one year with only twenty items of clothing and no shopping. This challenge seems a lot like sky-diving to me - thrilling, freeing and totally terrifying. I'm not sure I could round up the courage to do it! I was fascinated by their mini-movement the moment I discovered it in my Twitter feed and just had to interview them.

What inspired you to start the Twenty Pieces Project?

Cate: It started with two things: A vogue article, and a long day locked in my apartment attempting to pursue our creative passions, writing (me) and painting (Julie). We spent the day exchanging inspiration, talking about the artistic process, sharing hopes and dreams, all that sort of thing. One way or another, we got to talking about a Vogue article that I read long ago about a woman who only owned ten pieces of clothes (which I explain in more detail here. We decided we wanted to make major changes in our lives that would promote simplicity, beauty and creativity, and Twenty Pieces started right then and there on my couch.

Julie: It was an exciting day and I don’t think we had any clue what we were getting into, but as I look back, I think there was some divine inspiration. If we had over thought it just another day, we may not have done it at all, but now that the project has gotten rolling, I anticipate there being something very good in it for our souls and for our readers.

What do you girls hope to accomplish through this project?

Cate: We want to dress with greater style, beauty, and creativity while at the same time only owning a few pieces of clothes that are really well made, multi-functional, timeless and classic (a phrase often used by Julie’s brother that we stole as our clothing theme), and let our real selves shine. In so doing, what we really hope to accomplish is a sense of freedom, in both us and our readers who attempt to live in a similar way. Freedom from hyper-consumerism, freedom from clutter, and a reorientation of how we view our money and privileges here in the states. We’re both spiritual directors by training and vocation, so we tend to think of everything in life in terms of how it affects the soul. One of the reasons we’re so excited about Twenty Pieces is we believe it has the potential to really powerful change our hearts.

Julie: I can already see ways it is affecting my soul. There is a simplicity to life that starts with getting dressed. I find myself thankful for the limitations on my clothing choices, having memories of countless minutes staring into the closet. I hope that freedom in simplicity is something that is more greatly formed in me and in our readers. If all we do is live the twenty pieces lifestyle without learning to love it and receive the gift that it could be, I think we will have missed the point.

What is the preparation process you are going through now before you start of the project in January?

Cate: Well the first thing we did was clean out each other’s closets. We’re both down to about 50-60 pieces of clothing, which is helping us really evaluate what we wear and what we’re going to need to get through a year with just twenty pieces. I also find myself thinking a lot about what’s it’s going to mean for me to have such a limited wardrobe, and have found myself praying over the fear that engenders in my heart. It feels like a big risk, for some reason!

Julie: I am at the stage where I choose twenty pieces to try to live from for the week, and put the rest in the back of the closet. At the end of the week, I consider if I would want to trade anything out for anything else. From this I am learning what really are my staples and if there are any items I may need, but don’t have. This is what I am doing now and there will be more about this method on the blog soon.

What is the hardest thing you anticipate about doing the challenge?

Cate: To be quite honest, I have a tendency towards addiction, and have definitely used shopping as a kind of substance abuse. When I’m upset or feeling low, I head to my favorite stores and buy something pretty! I know I also use clothes as a way to hide. Both those things are major crutches for me and I know it will be really challenging to not have them to fall back on (this feels like a big confession to make in the wide open internet, but there it is!)

Julie: I am not sure I know. I can tell you the hardest thing so far. So far, the hardest thing has been staring in the face my poor purchase decisions and letting them go, not beating myself up for them, and saying, God help me, NO MORE!

What are you doing with all the clothes you currently own that don't make the cut?

Cate: We’ve been selling what we can to places like Buffalo Exchange, and donating the rest. And a lot of our friends and family have volunteered to take stuff off our hands :)

Julie: I actually just put a dress up for sale on eBay. We’ll see how that works!

How can girls join your challenge? What is some advice you'd give them about participating?

Cate: I am so glad you asked. We really want girls to join us! We would love this to become a mini-movement. The first thing you can do is get involved on the blog and follow our twitter! We’d love to talk with you. The most important advice I think I can give is do this with a friend for mutual support and so you can help each other decide what needs to go!

Julie: Don’t be intimidated by the end goal. If you clean out your closet that is a great start. Consider moving to the next step of twenty pieces a week. You may realize you like the idea more than you might have thought!

What do you think about The Twenty Pieces Project? How would your life be different if you only had a closet of 20 pieces and didn't shop for a year?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

"I will wait for you" Poem

Hey Girls!

This poem was posted on the Resurgence a few months ago about waiting for a Christ-centered relationship. It really touches on the importance of being with somebody who loves and reflects the Lord. Check it out!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Thank You, J.Crew

by Natalie Lynn Borton

J.Crew is my favorite. I lust over every outfit photographed in their seasonal catalogs, stalk their sale section, and aspire to one day have a closet entirely inspired by the brand.

Classy as their clothes are, they seem to really love itty-bitty-skinny-minnie models. Until now, at least. While reading the most recent catalog last night (yes, I read their catalog as if it were a regular magazine), I was pleasantly surprised to see the beautiful Crystal Renn gracing the pages of the swimsuit section.

Shockingly, the perfectly normal-sized (actually, smaller-than-the-average-woman) Crystal is considered "plus-size" in the modeling world. She began modeling at age 14, but it wasn't until she embraced her womanly figure that her career took off.

She has since been featured in numerous high-fashion magazines, including Harpar's Bazaar and Vogue; has walked the runway for Jean Paul Gaultier; and has appeared in campaigns for H&M, Chanel, Dolce & Gabbana, Saks Fifth Avenue, Jimmy Choo, and Nordstrom.

I am so thankful for her boldness and confidence that inspires and encourages all of us to embrace the beauty of our natural size. Maybe we have no curves. Maybe we're all curves. Maybe we're a pear shape, or maybe we're an apple shape. What matters is not so much what shape our bodies are, but rather if we are willing to respect and honor our bodies or not.

Thank you, J.Crew for taking a leap and publishing photos of a model who we can relate to, and who reminds us that we don't have to pretend to be someone else in order to succeed.

How have you respected your body this week?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

We need your vote!

Hey Girls,

Did you know that Wonderfully Made is in the running to win up to $50,000 in grant money from Giving of Life? The organization with the most votes wins, so that means we need a lot of help from you.

Please take a minute to vote now and help us reach our goal of 400 votes. All you have to do is click on the image below to be taken to the website, then click "vote." Super easy.


If you're feeling extra generous today you can also register for two extra votes by signing up with your email address (the link to register is at the top right-hand corner). Every vote helps, so click, click, click away!

Thank you for helping us spread a message of freedom and worth to today's young women. Your support means the world to us!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

True Beauty Interview By Natalie Borton

Hey Girls,

The lovely Natalie Borton, who has served as one of our Regional Chapter Directors for WM and is now volunteering full-time as our Director of Marketing, featured me on her blog today. Natalie and I first connected via emailed back in 2004 when she contacted me as a Freshman. She stumbled across a poster about WM on campus - it really captured her attention as she was battling an eating disorder and craving community and freedom.

The year before I was a busy bee trying to start WM while I was still battling depression. The summer of my sophomore year I hit rock bottom, was forced to withdraw from Pepperdine and move home to deal properly with the depression, and finish college at Santa Clara. WM at Pepperdine tanked, but that fall it started at SCU when I put up a few posters in the girls bathroom--Kayla and two other awesome girls were the first to be involved.

Fast forward four years--Natalie and I still had never met. I hunted her down on Facebook (thank you Mark Zuckerberg!), stalked her blogs and was inspired by her heart for young women and involvement in ministry. She recommended me as a chapel speaker at Pepperdine and in December of 2008 we finally met--we both shared our testimonies of redemption the same day at chapel. Shortly after she became a member of our exec team and God made it clear He was paving the way for WM to really start at Pepperdine--we now have a phenomenal group of women who are gearing up for their 2nd year of WM and who are passionate about encouraging and loving on the women of their campus and community ! It's a long back-story, but I thought it was worth sharing as God's timing is perfect.

No matter the disapointments, setbacks or broken dreams we never know what God might be doing. He is in control--we just get to go along for the ride. Now for my interview with Natalie....

Natalie: What woman inspires you?

Allie: It’s impossible to limit it to just one. Each one of my mentors, role models and closest friends inspire me in a unique way. Collectively they are a constant source of inspiration. I’m inspired by my artistic friends’ creativity and free spirit; my mom’s resilience, discipline and strength has been instrumental in making me the person I am, and my mentor Judy’s humility and loving-kindness inspires me to love unconditionally and know Christ more intimately. Each of my friends stirs me to be intentional in my relationships, love wholeheartedly, live authentically and laugh regularly. That’s a perk about being a girl – instead of being jealous of one another; we have the opportunity be inspired by each other.

Click HERE for the full interview and to check out Natalie's blog.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

WM Spotlight: Amanda Phelps of Resurface Art

by Allie Marie Smith

I'm so excited to introduce you Amanda Phelps - a recent friend, surfer girl and compassionate creative who started Resurface Art. She takes old surfboards, turns them into canvases to paint on, and then donates 20% of each sale to help build clean water wells. Paul and I had an old, dusty, dinged shortboard in our garage that was taking up space so we gave it to Amanda to create one of her masterpieces with. I'm so excited for you to get to know this radiant girl after God's own heart and be inspired as I have by the life she's living.

How did you come up with the idea for the boards?

I grew up surfing and cultivated a love for the sport at a very young age. I was a wanna be Roxy girl, for sure. My dad would make surfboards out of wood in our garage and I would watch him so closely and dream of one day working with surfboards too. I realized there is a surplus of old surfboards piling up in people’s garages and backyards and it dawned on me, how environmentally friendly it would be to reuse those boards by making them into art!

What do you find the most challenging about what you do?

Getting the word out there and informing the public about what RESURFACE is all about. There is only one of me which makes it hard when trying to balance everything on my own, from the actual painting and web design to art shows and social media.

What made you choose to partner with World Vision and to construct water wells?

World Vision has always been my favorite nonprofit. They do such an amazing job of clearly communicating the different needs of the oppressed and creating an easy access bridge for people that want to help. They are a credible Christian humanitarian organization dedicated to their cause. I knew I could trust them as a partner and they have been so supportive of RESURFACE from the very beginning.

How many surfboards have you created and how do you determine the artistic vision for each?

RESURFACE just celebrated it’s 1 year anniversary, and since the start, I have painted a little over 20 boards. For the custom-ordered boards, the artistic vision is usually a collaborative effort between the person ordering the board and myself. When I have no guidelines as far as what to paint, I usually draw my inspiration from nature. The beauty that is found in the repeating patters in nature and in the vibrant colors of our planet has always been my inspiration.

How do you like to spend your time outside RESURFACE?

My favorite things to do outside RESURFACE is hiking, surfing, beach combing, SCUBA diving, serving in my community, traveling with my family, learning about wine and playing scrabble with my husband.

What’s next for RESURFACE?

In hopes that RESURFACE continues to grow at the steady pace that it has, my dream is to actually travel to a developing country in Africa with my husband and witness first hand what it takes to build a well.

Check out Amanda in action here...

RESURFACE from Amanda Peck Phelps on Vimeo.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Grab & Share Our Buttons.

Love Wonderfully Made? Want to spread the love? Grab and share one (or both) of these pretty buttons designed by contributor Arielle Royer. Simply copy the code under the image and drop it into your blog.

Know Your Value
Know Your Value

Did you grab a button? Let us know your website URL so we can check it out!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Big Announcement: HerStory Launch

Today we have a big announcement for you! We have released our very first film in our new HerStory film series!

You can preview the first film featuring Christie's powerful story of redemption and learn more about our goals for this project HERE.

We plan on sharing the stories of dozens of girls from a variety of backgrounds who have gone through many different life experiencing such as depression, an eating disorder, poverty, drug and alcohol abuse, loss of a loved one, promiscuity, perfectionism, or abuse.

In order to make this project a reality WE NEED YOU, our wmGirls!!!! Here's how YOU can make this project a reality:

  1. Share this website with your church missions team and invite them to support one film for $1,000.
  2. Host a fundraiser to raise $1,000 to fund one film.
  3. Invite a business or organization you're connected with to support one project.
  4. Cover our HerStory film series and the girls who will be sharing in prayer.
  5. If you know of an amazing woman (in California) in her twenties with a powerful story of redemption to share, email us telling a bit about her and why you think her story should be told.

With 1 Story and $1,000 Your church or organization can help us try to reach 100,000 girls

Once we have raised more support we will start rolling out additional stories and then make then widely available to share virally via your Facebook, Blog, Tumblr, etc.

Watch the film and write a note to Christie letting her know how her story impacted you.

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