Obedience From Grace

by Natalie Lynn Borton

Today I want us to ask ourself, “Do I really know Him?” (Jesus, that is). This week I've rediscovered Oswald Chambers’ "My Utmost for His Highest," a devotional my dear friend and former mentor Greta recommended to me years ago.

The question we're asking ourselves today is rooted in the entry for October 20th, called "The Unheeded Secret." It's a simple, yet frightening question. And, scary a question as it may be, I think it’s a question worth seriously investigating.

Oswald Chambers declares that,

"The great enemy of the Lord Jesus Christ today is the idea of practical work that has no basis in the New Testament, but comes from the systems of the world. The work insists upon endless energy and activities, but no private life with God."

Aren’t our lives consumed with endless energy and activities? Are we not always running from one thing to the next? Even when it comes to religious activities, like community groups and Sunday services, it’s so easy to get caught up in the religiousness of the activities rather than focus on the reason for our religion in the first place.

The question of knowing Jesus hits me hard because I find I often think about God much more than I actually talk to him. It's reminiscent of a passage in Matthew.

“Not everyone who says to me ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my father in heaven.” (Matthew 7:21-23)

It's worrisome to think that we can get so caught up in doing things that we think are for God that we actually miss out on knowing Him. It’s possible (and common) to be religious without having true faith in the Lord and his will. In fact, it’s even possible to believe that Jesus Christ is the Lord God without ever knowing him personally.

My natural next question is, “what does it look like to know God personally, then?” I once heard a pastor describe that there are two ways that people approach the idea of obedience to God.

1. “I’m doing all the right things, so God will accept me and give me grace”
2. “Because God accepts me and gives me grace, I will do His will and follow Him”

Clearly, the second approach is the one that we should aim to live by. Our actions should be an outpouring response to the grace and love that God gives us. We have to grasp that grace and own it before we can really begin to serve and follow God. Sometimes, the reason we overload on good “things” and activities is to mask our inability to give up control over certain areas of our lives and submit them to God the Father. But that’s not the way God would have it.

He wants us to come as we are to Him and allow Him to give us His gift of grace, which covers a multitude of our sins. Once we can humble ourselves enough to receive that grace, and we pursue a personal relationship with the giver through prayer and studying the Word, those “things” we did before for religiousness sake will pour out naturally in response to the love and grace we’ve received and accepted.

How beautiful.

Which way do you tend to approach the idea of obedience to God? Grace after obedience, or obedience out of grace?

You Are So Loved

by Natalie Lynn Borton

Do you know this today? Do you know the love God has for you? I always know it in my mind, but not necessarily in my heart. I’ve realized recently that without a grasp on the depth of love the Father has for us, we are incapable of experiencing the intimacy that God intended for us to have with him.

"When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your love, O LORD, supported me." (Psalm 94:18)

God’s love supports us when we are slipping. His love carries the weight of our burdens and gives us a peace that surpasses understanding. When we feel like we can’t do it anymore, like we are falling and we can’t catch ourselves, his love is like a huge net that scoops us up and keeps us safe. I want to rest in that kind of saving love.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved." (Ephesians 2:4-5)

God’s love is like this: grace first, truth second. That’s not to say that grace is more important, or that truth is an afterthought, but rather to emphasize that he loves us before we are forgiven, before we are wiped clean of our nastiness, before we are even worth of any sort of love. He gives us grace in the moments when we are farthest from deserving it.

Sure, there is so much truth that follows. If truth doesn’t come into the picture, we do not get a full scope of God’s love, which is encompassed by the perfect combination of grace and truth. With God, these two always come together. The beautiful part of it all is that we get grace first — unconditional love first!

So today I ask you, do you know that you are so loved??

For the Love of Words

by Allie Marie Smith

Happy Friday Beautiful! So I got sucked in and joined Pinterest! It's a fun site full of eye candy - you can create boards and pin images you like into different categories. I kind of have a love-hate relationship, but I did stumble across these fun word prints and wanted to share them with you!

I think the Colossians 3:12 verse design might inspire a new t-shirt for WM! What do you think?

Which is your favorite?

A Standard of Grace

by Natalie Lynn Borton

I've always fallen more on the perfectionist side of the spectrum. I have unrealistic ideas about the kind of life I should live and the kind of woman I should be, and I tend to be slow to grant myself the necessary grace to live a sane and peaceful life. Thus, when I saw this sweet little image posted on Glamour Magazine's blog, Vitamin G, I absolutely knew I had to save it, write the words on my heart, and share it with all of you.

Let's make this promise to ourselves today. Let's allow grace to wash over us in the areas of our lives where we have perfectionist strongholds. Let's let ourselves make a mistake or two, and know that each day is filled with new mercies:

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning." (Lamentations 3:22-23)

QUESTION: Are you holding yourself to an unrealistic standard of perfection? What keeps you from exchanging it for grace?

Photo Recap: WM Leadership Retreat

by Allie Marie Smith

Hey Lovelies...

Earlier this month (the highlight of my summer) we had our first-ever California-wide leadership retreat at my house. Two leaders from each of our four college chapters (Santa Clara University, Pepperdine University, Westmont College & Point Loma) as well as Kayla, Natalie, Christie and myself met up for an unforgettable weekend of leadership training, bonding, worship, eating, sharing and belly laughing.

Saturday night I took the girls to my friend Holly's ranch in Santa Ynez. We fed her crazy horses, had a picnic, shared our testimonies and roasted s'mores under the stars. I had my lovely wedding photographer and friend Kristin Renee stop by to take some fun pictures. Here are a few of the highlights...

The Ambush of the Facebook Wedding Album

by Kristie Vosper

There’s nothing like looking through your ex-boyfriend’s wedding album on Facebook that can make you want to go buy a happy meal and take a long nap. There I was at work minding my own business, when in the feed of my homepage one photo after another kept coming up, album after album: “Rehearsal Dinner,” “Wedding,” “Honeymoon.”

Click, click, click.

I have to admit, he looked really good. She wasn’t too bad either. “Did I make the wrong choice?” I wondered inside as my heart sank to see him kiss the bride.

I mentally went through all the reasons that I had told him I didn’t want to date him anymore. I tried to go through all the weird and awkward moments we shared instead of dwelling on all of the fantastic and romantic ones flooding into my imagination like a scenic movie trailer.

I had to be honest with myself. I felt so sad to see that he had truly moved on. I wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) expect anymore emails or instant messages from him as if his head was poking around the corner of my computer screen to see if I was still willing to reconsider, to maybe give it another go.

I truly do want him to be happy, but sitting at my desk on a Thursday afternoon with the sunlight streaming in the window like a blinding reality, I felt jealous and melancholy. All the usual self-pep-talk inside of me fell silent as I clicked through the images and sat alone with my thoughts. I was missing him terribly as I read “Just Married,” on the back of their car in white paint.

I took a deep breath, turned off my Facebook page and tried to get back to the mound of email in my inbox. This work felt unforgiving in the midst of the emotions swirling in my stomach. You know what they say about checking your Facebook account at work: “Don’t!”

It was a common case of “wanting to be wanted,” but wanting celibacy for all of my ex-boyfriends? This is probably a little extreme. I wondered inwardly, is this my ego or some old feelings resurfacing for another round of the “what if” game?

I guess I have to let them all go – my ex-boyfriends that is. They are characters in the story of my life. I can page through all the moments I’ve shared with them, many that I treasure. They have given my life a depth of experiences and windows into the reality of another’s human experience. Dating hasn’t been all bad. If I’m honest, it’s brought more color to my life. I want to live a great life, and a great life is hardly filled with dwelling on all of your regrets and mistakes. It’s acknowledging them, letting go, and living in gratitude for the people that have come along the way to share their stories with our’s. That’s when a life of freedom and joy is found.

The letting go can be so hard, but it happens if we let it. Maybe in the past I haven’t let go because I’ve wanted to hang on to the idea that these men had called me beautiful and loved me. Perhaps with some I hoped they might change and return to me. Maybe I’ve just created the illusion of having many options in my life by holding onto them so that I don’t feel lonely.

Holding on is hardly connected to letting go. Freedom is found in knowing that I’m valuable not matter what he thinks of me, or if he still does at all.

I want to live in reality. In the present. I want to look forward at my life and not look back mourning and questioning all the relationships I’ve left behind. So, to my ex-boyfriend who just got married: Congratulations. Truly. I let you go. I surrender myself to this moment and I hope your life and future is as bright as I’m creating mine to be.

Have you let go of someone in the past in order to pave the way for your future? Are you living in a fantasy or are you willing to take the leap and live in a beautiful new reality for your life?

P.S. A few things to consider if you want to live a healthy life:

1. Friends? Is it helping or hurting to remain “friends” with an ex on Facebook? Sometimes enough time has passed and the relationship is truly healthy enough that you can be friends. A lot of times this is not possible. I’d recommend digging really deep and getting honest with yourself. How many times do you prowl through their pictures? If you’re taking daily trips down memory lane, then it might be time to get off of that road.
2. Closure? Is there an “I’m sorry” or a “thank you” letter or a conversation that needs to be had? If so, and it if it won’t hinder or hurt them and their current relationship, I recommend having those conversations. They are usually for your benefit. I’m the kind of person that likes to leave people better for knowing me. I have found most times that my ex-boyfriends say “oh geeze, I forgot about that…don’t worry!” but I walk away feeling free and lighter inside. So if you need to, have one closing conversation of gratitude or forgiveness and then be done with it. Move forward not backwards.
3. Switch it up. Put yourself in your future boyfriend’s shoes. Would you want you to be friends with a certain person on facebook. Do a pre-emptive strike and clear these people out of your life if needed. Be free. Be open. Live your life now.

Eve: Helper and Life-Giver

by Raquel Rodriguez

"And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Genesis 2:18

A woman was created not by accident or chance but with purpose: born to be a helper. She was not comparable to an animal, or a tree or even God, but comparable/ equal to a man. God created her to perfection, ready for every good work.

Her role as helper was to assist and aid Adam by sharing the work of overseeing the earth. She was to alleviate his burden and cause improvement in his work. She was to be a servant, a remedy to the man. Through this woman, God rescues Adam from his solitude. Alone Adam could not fulfill the call of being fruitful and populating the earth, even in this, the woman would equally work to help complete the task. Together they become one, the visible representation of an invisible God.

Unfortunately, the woman is not known for her courageous and marvelous works as a helper but rather is known for her failure. Her single act of disobedience not only affected her, it affected everyone thereafter. Fortunately for the woman and all of humanity, as many as the Lord loves, He rebukes and chastens (Revelation 3:19). As a loving Father, God didn’t dwell on their sin(s); He rebuked and justly spoke to each the consequence for their sin.

As women, we have not only borne the results of her sin but also a name. From Genesis 2:18-Genesis 3:19 she is only known as “the woman” but in verse 20 a name, an identity, a declaration is given.

"The man called his wife's name Eve [life giver], because she would be the mother of all the living." Genesis 3:20

Eve is embedded in all of us:

• Each one of us has been created with a purpose; our days have been fashioned for us (Psalm 139).
• God intended for us to live the life we each have, to look the way that we do with the unique personalities that we have for such a time as this (Esther 4:13-14).
• We are helpers, assistants, aids, co-laborers (Ephesians 4:11-12, 15-16).
• We are to alleviate one another’s burden (Romans 12:9-21) and cause improvement in each other’s life (Romans 15:1-3).
• We are to be servants (Philippians 2:3-4) who remedy the pain of those around us (Isaiah 35:3 & 61:1-3) and rescue those who are lonely (Hebrews 10:24-25).
• As helpers we are to be fruitful (Galatians 5:22) and multiply (Romans 10:14-15).
• It is no longer Adam who gives us a new name but Jesus, our Lord and Savior, through His precious blood. He has given us a name, an identity, a declaration: life giver (2 Corinthians 2:14-15)!

I encourage you to be the woman (helper and life giver) that God created you to be. What better way to be a helper than pointing people to Jesus. In doing do so you will be a life giver, for only Jesus has life to give. Love God. Love the Word. Love the Lost. Love the Found.

How will you be a helper and a life-giver this week?

A Body Image Battle (Guest Post by Jessica Campbell).

Today we have a special guest post for you by our friend Jessica Campbell. Jessica is a newlywed, first grade teacher, tutor, cheer coach and school committee leader who tries to teach her students about healthy body image in the public school system. She is also a faithful financial supporter of Wonderfully Made. Thank you, Jessica, for sharing your story of truth and hope with us!

My body image insecurities began in 4th grade with a group of girls who bullied me mercilessly for about 5 years. Trying to stay focused on my faith, I made it through high school and college. I married my college sweetheart of 7 years and truly believed him when he said I was beautiful. Yet, a few months after our wedding, I started seeing ugliness again in the mirror. I was 5’3” and petite, but all I could see were legs covered with cellulite. During this time, a dear friend was in an accident and had his leg amputated. I tried telling myself that I should be thankful just to have my legs and not worry about their appearance. Sadly, I was still miserable over the reflection in the mirror.

My turning point came when I went to the dermatologist, had a mole removed off my leg, and was told I probably had melanoma. Depending on the depth, I could have lymph nodes biopsied to see if the cancer had spread. My whole world felt shaken. 28 years old… with cancer? What about starting a family? I looked in the mirror after that initial phone call with the doctor and fell to the ground in sobs. Cellulite concerns seemed so incredibly stupid… all I wanted was a leg without cancer on it.

And so the praying began: emails, calls, Facebook posts, church visits, etc. About 5 years ago, my mom had given me a book called Christ the Healer during another time of health concerns. I had never opened it. That night, though, I started reading it hungrily. I prayed and read and prayed and read. 5 days later, the call came: NOT CANCER. I still had to have more skin taken off as a precaution, but I was healed. When I opened up my book again, I noticed I had left off on page 77. Mom said that was God’s way of giving me a hug.

Today I look in the mirror and see a leg with a huge bandage on it. It is the most beautiful leg God could have ever given me. Jesus healed it and there is nothing wrong or ugly about it. It took a traumatic scare for me to see myself the way my husband sees me, the way God sees me… beautiful.

And oh yeah… I threw away my cellulite cream.

How do you find balance with health and body image?

What is True Beauty?

by Arielle Royer

How do you define true beauty?

Book Review: Hungry

by Natalie Lynn Borton

This weekend I finally had the chance to read Crystal Renn's book "Hungry: A Young Model's Story of Appetite, Ambition and the Ultimate Embrace of Curves." I've wanted to read it for months, so when it finally arrived in the mail (along with, as you can see, my brand new Moleskine planner) I was ecstatic. I immediately cracked it open and started reading on Friday afternoon, and by Saturday afternoon I had completely finished it. Talk about devouring a book.

Crystal is a truly inspiring 25-year-old. She started modeling when she was 14 and battled anorexia for years in order to compete with other models in the industry. After accidentally gaining weight and being criticized by her agency, she finally had a breakthrough and decided to become a plus-sized model for Ford. From there, she committed to healing from her eating disorder and embraced her natural size, and her career escalated to a level she never imagined.

Although I wouldn't put it on my list of all-time favorite books, I would definitely recommend reading it. Crystal has a powerful story that is worth hearing, especially for those of us who have struggled with getting value from the way our body looks. Here are some of my favorite excerpts from the book:

On starving herself:

"I was in a constant state of panic. I had no energy, felt no joy. I was freezing all the time. I was constantly constipated; my stomach pain was so ever-present that I took its constant thrumming for granted. I had trouble sleeping. I experienced regular heart palpitations. My joints, especially those in my knees and jaw, ached terribly. My hair was breaking off and falling out. My skin developed a gray tinge. I had a perpetual headache. I often heard ringing in my ears. I sometimes had trouble breathing. My skin was Sahara-dry. My throat and joints ached badly enough that I often wanted to cry. If I stood up too quickly, I'd get so dizzy that I had to put a hand on the wall to make the room stop spinning. I was always exhausted. I needed loads of caffeine to make it through my eight-hour workouts. My legs were so covered in bruises that I looked like I had an abusive boyfriend. My pathology was my lover. I don't know what death feels like, but this had to be the beginning. I wanted to claw off my own face." (page 93)

On the consequences of anorexia:

"Whatever the cause, anorexia is notoriously difficult to treat. It has a depressingly high fatality rate. Up to 20 percent of people with this disease die of it, according to the nonprofit Eating Disorders Coalition. That makes it the deadliest mental illness, the one with the highest premature mortality rate." (page 109)

On perfection and external focus:

"We're supposed to tinker and reduce and perfect--it's integral to the gig of being modern women. When we're focused on our bodies, we don't have the external focus to turn to the outside world. The ironic thing is that if we did focus on improving the world...we'd wind up healthier as a country, and perhaps thinner." (page 123)

On dieting:

"There's a concept called false hope syndrome, described by psychologists at the University of Toronto. Dieting is the perfect example of it. People keep trying to do something over and over, despite repeated failures. They explain away each failure and try again with renewed vigor. Overwhelming odds against success don't deter them--hope springs eternal! Diets don't work long-term, but people blame themselves, not the diet. The very act of embarking on yet another diet makes us feel better and more hopeful. This time it will work. This time we'll do it right. We feel empowered. We're finally taking control of our lives. But the ending is always the same." (page 128)

On self-acceptance:

"One fact is constant: Self-acceptance is a choice. You live in your body every day, and I live in mine. Some days it's difficult to live in my body, as I imagine it's difficult for you to live in yours. I used to hear a voice in my head every day telling me to obsess about my thighs. That voice is still there, but now it whispers instead of screams. I told the voice I wouldn't listen to it anymore. I told the voice I refuse to let you win." (page 212)

On confidence:

"The solution is to accept that the only person you have to please is yourself. Indulge your instincts, wear what you love, and embrace your own natural size. As tired as it sounds, self-acceptance has to come from within. You simple cannot look to the wider world for a perpetual stream of affirmation. It won't be there. And life is too short to hate yourself. Confidence is what ultimately makes us attractive, no matter what we look like." (page 222)

What does self-acceptance look like for you? In what ways do you choose body confidence?

My Pretend Boyfriend

by Kristie Vosper

There he goes. He’s texting me again. I thought I was done with this. I promised myself that I would stop this text-relationship. I vowed to only go on real dates with real men, real men who live in my real life! It’s been 2 weeks since the real man I like has called to have a real conversation, and so here he is, the other man in my life, the “substitute-pretend-boyfriend,” texting me sweet things this Friday night. It’s raining outside, I’m home watching The Devil Wears Prada, and I wonder, “How does he always know when I’m feeling the most lonely and hopefully romantic?” Perhaps he feels the same way too.

He seems to have radar for these moments.

I used to think my pretend boyfriend could be a real potential boyfriend, but then he flaked a few times when we set up real dates, and most notably didn’t show up for my birthday party. After a string of disappointments and forgiven “misunderstandings,” I suppose it’s clear that I’m taking what I get, but is what I’m getting enough? Are a few flirty text messages capable of filling in for the real potentially amazing boyfriend who I haven’t met yet?

Probably not.

Well, let’s be honest, most definitely not.

The strength inside of me wants to push away from this proverbial bag of “Cheez-its”, because the “carrot sticks” of waiting are unquestionably better for me in the end. But on this Friday night, the “Cheez-its” are somehow helping pass the time more comfortably.

What’s so wrong with it anyway, right? It’s just a text message. But we all know it’s not just a text message. It’s about 500 text messages. Back and forth, ebb and flow, here we go…and I’m attached again. I find myself annoyed when he pauses too long. It feels like rejection. Or is it like addiction? Maybe he’s my “instant gratification pretend boyfriend.” No consequences, no responsibility, just nice things back and forth…attachments formed that will never fully be known. I’m emotionally attached to him, and I barely know the sound of his voice.

The thing is, I don’t want a life all strung together with half-way, half-hearted relationships, fantasies and Cheez-it instant gratification pretend boyfriends. I want the real thing. I want real love, real phone calls, real dates, and a real man on the couch someday growing old with me. It seems I have to get better at waiting, better at living fully in the moment rather than wasting away the time with chit chat in an imaginary text message land.

So I text him one more time, “I need to be done with this whole late night texting thing with you. This isn’t working for me.” We have to make a choice to live our real lives rather than creating an imaginary one that will never fill us up. Real life is just too good to miss.

The next time he texted, I simply didn’t respond.

And that’s how I broke up with my pretend boyfriend.

Do you have a few pretend boyfriends in your phone? Are you afraid to have open, quiet space to wait well for a good man to come into your life?

P.S. Here's a helpful tip...In my phone I replace any guy’s name that I don’t want to respond to (but might be tempted to) with a phrase like “Don’t do it!” or “You are valuable.” Their text next to an encouraging phrase like this are usually incongruent. It helps remind me when the text comes up to leave it alone and live fully in the life I have before me.

What Happens When Women Pray

by Natalie Lynn Borton

This past weekend I attended a Wonderfully Made leadership retreat at Allie's house. Our student co-directors for each of our college chapters attended, along with the four of us on the exec team. It was a beautiful weekend of female bonding, laughing, planning, and even horse-feeding, but the part that stuck with me the most was the devotional Kayla led on Saturday morning, taken from the renowned What Happens When Women Pray.

These are my takeaways...

Prayer is powerful, and a privilege.
Dare I say, I often forget just how powerful the act of a simple prayer is--let alone the power of many women praying together? It's a bit shameful to admit, but sometimes I let prayer become a duty rather than a privilege. Most often, those are times when I'm praying in a group (because, really, how often do you pray on your own when it feels like a duty?) What struck me most was the concept of "praying in one accord." As we pray together in groups, we are to silently lift up the requests being prayed aloud, thus praying in agreement with one another, or rather "in one accord." These united prayers are biblical and especially powerful:

"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." (Matthew 18:20)

"They all met together and were constantly united in prayer, along with Mary the mother of Jesus, several other women, and the brothers of Jesus." (Acts 1:14)

Forgiveness matters.
Before we pray, we need to remove anything that is in the way. Specifically, we need to release bitterness and extend forgiveness to those who have hurt us. In Mark 11:25-26, Jesus emphasizes just how important this is:

"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

If Jesus felt the need to point it out then it certainly shouldn't be overlooked. Before making requests, we should take a personal inventory and choose forgiveness. After all, how can we expect God to respond to our prayers and even forgive our sins if we won't do the same for someone else?

Private & Public Prayer.
Our private prayer life determines the quality and validity of our public prayer life. Group prayer is not a substitute for alone time with God. (I am so guilty of this sometimes!) Practice prayer throughout the day, especially right when you wake up. God has a special way of speaking to our hearts in the quiet of the morning.

The 6 S's of Group Prayer
For me, this was the most practical piece Kayla shared with us, and something that is already transforming the way I pray with Brian and with my girlfriends. I encourage you to try it the next chance you have--it's amazing how much it improves the quality of prayer!

1. Subject by subject. Go around in the circle praying for one subject at a time. As each person prays aloud, pray their prayer silently to yourself (this is where "of one accord" comes in).
2. Short prayers. Have you ever prayed in a group before with people who seem to pray for hours out loud? Yes, some people are more gifted at eloquent prayer than others, but that is not the point. Keep group prayers simple, even as short as one sentence each per subject.
3. Simple prayers. Avoid using complicated language and special phrases that can only be understood by some. Group prayer should have no pretense, and should feel comfortable for even the newest of pray-ers.
4. Specific prayer requests. So often we request general things, which is alright, except that it can prevent God from getting the glory for answering our prayers. We must have the courage to ask for real, specific desires of our heart, and allow our will to be conformed to his (that means, even as you ask for something that you want to happen, you invite God to transform your heart to want what He wants to happen).
5. Silent periods. Silence is awkward, we all know it. But that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. When we feel awkward, someone else may be hearing God speak to her heart. Remember, prayer is a two-way conversation. Not only should we make requests, but we should also allow silence so that we can listen for God's response.
6. Small groups. Large groups can make prayer difficult and intimidating for most. Keeping prayer groups to less than 5 people is best.

Do you feel comfortable praying out loud in groups? Why or why not?

Media Commentary: The Bachelorette

by Kati Smith

My first year of college I lived on the bottom floor of a brick building, and our television came in the form of bunny ears. (I’m sorry if you don’t get that reference. Google it.) The screen was always fuzzy. You had to position the antennas just right to get good enough signal—we propped them up with books, taped them to walls, and even busted out the aluminum foil with high hopes that we would get a clear enough picture on that one night a week.

Then, several of us girls would pile in to the small dorm room with pints of Ben & Jerry’s (Dublin Mudslide is my favorite flavor—it will change your life, or at least your jean size) and spoons and rising anticipation. We would talk at lunch during the week about it and wait anxiously for this day to come—the day The Bachelor or The Bachelorette came on. We took The Bachelor very, very seriously.

I have spent years watching some of the most awkward moments on television and some of the most hopelessly romantic dates ever put on the tube. Being someone that rarely watches TV, I always wonder at what it is that draws me in. I no longer have dorm room parties and Ben & Jerry’s tempting me to watch, and I’ll even go as far as streaming it from Hulu now that I don’t have TV at all.

This season was no small exception. I’ll admit that I really wasn’t an Ashley fan to begin with. I made the same judgment as everyone else—she’s insecure and it’s annoying to watch. As the season unfolded, things went from bad to worse. You saw it all—the horrible improv comedy night that ended in wounding jokes about Ashley’s body; several guys up and walked off the show, including Constantine who took Ashley home to meet his parents then abruptly dumped her; and then of course, The Bentley Incident.

It was absolutely painful.

For that very reason I now know why I can’t help but watch it all unfold.

These girls—The Bachelorette or the many single girls fighting for The Bachelor each season—they are us. They are every girl. They hurt deep when someone comments on their body, and they feel insecure when guys aren’t interested. It doesn’t change on national television or when there’s a room full of good-looking guys staring at you. Issues are issues—we all have them, and the attention and affections of a man don’t change that one bit.

The music playing, the roses strewn about, the romantic dates on secluded islands—it all starts to make it seem like an attainable fairytale. I am that girl, you are that girl. We have dreams of being swept off our feet, surrounded by guys wanting us, or of fighting for that perfect guy. We hurt when they don’t want us back, and we feel embarrassed and ashamed when they pick someone else despite our best efforts.

The truth is that the romance will never look the way it does, perfectly edited for TV. There are guys like Bentley out there that will play you and guys like Constantine who won’t want you back. You don’t have to pick those guys, though.

As hard as it feels sometimes to find one, there are guys that love and fear God first. Guys who don’t want to just win the girl, but want to know her heart and serve her. I’m in it with you—this waiting and this looking. I’ll also be with you, watching the Bachelorette every season trying to remember what’s real in this reality TV, knowing that this candle lit romance is nothing like the one the Lord has for you.

Here’s to not picking the Bentleys of this world, and to feeling just like Ashley sometimes.

Do you watch the Bachelorette? If so, how has it changed (for better or worse) your view of love and relationships?

A Day in Los Olivos: Picnic Party

by Allie Marie Smith

This spring I had the privilege of facilitating a 6-week teaching series for the junior high girls of our local Christian Academy. I had so much fun with the girls teaching Biblical truth pertaining to the key topics at the forefront of their minds including boys, body image, media & culture, friends and self-worth. I wanted to the throw the girls a special party before the end of the school year.

Thanks to my friend Amber of Enjoy Cupcakes and the great guys of Saarloos & Sons (whose epic lawn we used) we had a fun picnic in charming downtown Los Olivos. I surprised the girls by having Ashley Hylton, a fabulous girl and professional photographer, take stunning portraits of the girls!

How adorable are they?

Are there any younger girls in your life who could use your mentoring? How can you help them know their value?

Featured Cause: Little Dresses for Africa

by Chrissy Watson

I love to dress up. I love wearing a pretty dress I can twirl in. I love ruffles, and lace, bows and flowers. When I was little I would play in my mom’s closet and try on all her fancy outfits. Anything with sparkle was always a must. Thinking about those times makes me smile.

I am so lucky to have those memories. I’m lucky to be able to go somewhere special and put on a dress that makes me feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. There’s something about wearing a pretty dress that just makes a girl feel like a girl.

Unfortunately there are a lot of girls all over the world who do not have these memories. Some who don’t get dressed up and feel special, some who have never even seen a dress.

Little Dresses For Africa is a non-profit Christian based organization that is committed to showing girls that they have worth through the simple act of providing them with something that makes them feel special. From pillowcases dresses are made and distributed throughout churches, orphanages and schools. Yup! A pillowcase is all you need!

So how can you help?

• Visit the Little Dresses for Africa website.
• Watch this video on how to make a pillow dress, or click here for simple instructions.
• If you’re still a little confused like I was, just Google "pillowcase dress," and there are tons of ways to make one!

Once you’ve done that, send your dress here:

Little Dresses For Africa
24614 Curtis Drive
Brownstown, MI 48134

Help a little girl feel the joy you have with a simple pillowcase! It may seem like a little thing. Just a dress…just a piece of clothing. But to these little girls, it’s so much more than that.

Trailer News

If you didn't already hear from my Twitter, WM is the proud new owner of a vintage 1960's Scotsman trailer! Pretty crazy, huh? If you want an update on our trailer dream, read up on it here.

To make a long story short, I got the crazy idea in January to get a vintage trailer for us to take on the road to our conferences, outreaches and to visit high schools and churches. My prayer was that if this crazy idea was one God wanted to bless, He'd put it on someone's heart to give specifically for a trailer (I obviously couldn't justify any other way!)....and an amazing young woman did! Loco, right? Secondly, I needed a place to store it - my friend Holly said we could keep it on her ranch. Check!

There's a neat story about how we found her too - Christie overheard a lady talking about vintage trailers at LAX Airport and struck up a conversation - she happened to mention we were looking for a trailer and later the lady emailed her to let her know they were selling one that ended up matching my wish list! It was under our budget, leaving money for restoration and was just 15 minutes away from me! A huge selling point her teal appliances!!!

So, here she is in all her glory! That's me and my guy in the pic - doesn't he look a little like Uncle Eddie in the movie "Christmas Vacation"? She needs a brand new paint job to make her fresh and pretty and let her true beauty shine! Then we'll start decorating her inside - Anthro-inspired of course!

What do you think? Any fun girl-names for her?