It's My Body

Happy Halloween, girls! Today we wanted to share an original poem by Jenni Schaefer that our friend Rebecca Bass-Ching posted on the Potentia blog. We hope you enjoy the beautiful truth she speaks and that this poem will help you continue to make peace with your body...

It’s my body. If I am overweight by societal standards or some height/weight chart, my body does not need to be starved in order to fit in. My body will be the size it is supposed to be if I am taking care of myself. I will not fight it.

It’s my body. If I go out on a date and a guy buys me dinner, I do not owe him a kiss or anything else. A simple, “thank you,” does the job just fine. Despite what society might say, my body is not my currency.

It’s my body. If I overeat at a party today, because the food is just so good, I do not need to restrict or over-exercise tomorrow. My body needs to be nourished, everyday, and never deserves to be punished.

It’s my body. If I have been abused, my body does not deserve to be hated. My body is not disgusting because of what someone else did to me. My body is not something to feel ashamed of or to hide. I cherish my body.

It’s my body. If I am sick, I need to give my body rest and do whatever it takes to get well. My body is not invincible. It is fragile. I must not abuse it with food, alcohol, drugs, or anything else. I must take care of it.

It’s my body. Today my organs are nourished and can function properly. I get enough sleep. I am strong. I do things that feel enjoyable like hiking, swimming, getting a massage, yoga, or even kissing my date — when I choose to do so.

It’s my body. I do not look like you or anyone else. You might be taller or thinner than me. By societal standards, you might be prettier than me. But you are not me. And I am not you.

It’s your body. Respect it. Nourish it. Love it.

How do you respect, nourish and love your body?

Competitive Flirting: When Girls Fight For Attention

by Kristie Vosper

It was Halloween weekend and I was going to several parties with my girlfriends. If you know much about Halloween parties, you’ll likely agree that they can be permission for many to dress in little outfits and take on a whole new persona. It seems to become a cultural vacation from modesty. Combine this with alcohol, the opposite sex, and a dark night and you have plenty of opportunities to do things you’ll regret the next morning. “Try on some sexy confidence!” the costumes seem to beckon us.

My girlfriends and I were trying to play it cute rather than scandalous, but we all still were dressed a little edgier than we would in any other setting.

A cute boy who had never paid attention to me before had spent Friday night chatting with me, and the buzz from everyone the next day was “Wow? What is going on? Are you guys into each other? I saw you flirting…”

The next night as the Halloween parties continued, my roommate buzzed in wearing her bumblebee costume. In a room full of 100+ twenty-somethings, she zeroed in on my Friday night guy while we were busy dancing and talking together on the dance floor, and swept him away with her long fake eyelashes.

I was furious.

All of the sudden I was awkwardly dancing by myself watching her flirt and giggle and draw close to his Superman costume with her bumblebee striped legs.

Instantly, tears welled up in my eyes and I walked out front of the house the party was bumping inside of. I wanted the black lights and weird goblin drinks to go away. I wanted to go home and most of all I wanted my friend back. “How could she!?” I mused. She was the one who was asking about this new crush only hours before, what had changed? Didn’t she care about me?

There was a verbal girl fight that night on the front lawn. “How could you??” was followed by a list of excuses about how he wasn’t mine and I couldn’t call “dibs” on a guy. Oh the drama we can create!

Because he was paying attention to me, I believe that she decided it was worth even more to grab his attention away. Her thirst for feminine power and validation became even more important than honoring our friendship. I was hurt and pissed. Our friendship was never quite the same again. A trust had been broken that went deeper than the flirting.

Women don’t like to admit it, but competition is just as alive between us as it is amongst a bunch of men in front of the mirror lifting weights at the gym. We can be ruthless and mean, when the truth is that we are in need of loving friendships with each other to build us up and bring us life.

We need to do our best not to flirt with men who are attached to other women. It can be tough to resist the urge to win a battle, but the battle isn’t worth competing in if it isn’t for a good cause. You be you. Be genuine. Be authentic. You will get yours when the time is right.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be the kind of woman that other women trust around their husbands, boyfriends and crushes. I don’t want to be the kind of woman who takes any opportunity to grab at what I can to gain some power or validation at the expense of others.

Dig deep. Know your value so that chronic flirting for validation doesn’t become your trademark.

Going forward: Say you’re sorry, and forgive your friends because it is out of our deep pain that we behave so poorly. Knowing how valuable we are takes time, healing the deep wounds of our lives is hard work. Competitive flirting may give you a high for a minute, but it will never fill you up the way you really need to be known.

When have you witnessed or experienced competitive flirting?

How to Address Modesty During Halloween

by Jeff Bethke

This is part one of a video I put together for you ladies. The video addresses the issue of women's dress during the halloween season.We all notice when October 31st rolls around, all of a sudden girl's clothes get smaller and smaller. This video discusses that, as well as how Jesus applies to the situation and how you don't have to fight for guy's approval and eye because you are already perfectly accepted in Jesus.

Click here to see part 2...

What are your thoughts on this topic?

Red Letter Ink Giveaway WINNER!

by Natalie Lynn Borton

And the winner is....

CONGRATS, Alison! You're our Red Letter Ink Giveaway winner! Please email me so we can get your info and set you up with a free print.

Thank you everyone for participating--with such a good response, I think it's safe to say we'll be doing more giveaways in the future!

Rhoda: The Messenger

by Raquel Rodriguez

In this exciting chapter of the book of Acts, King Herod is persecuting the early church; James is murdered and we find Peter arrested and imprisoned. But the early church continued to meet together and offer prayers, constant prayers for Peter. One night, God sent an Angel to free Peter and led him out of the prison and unto the street. Where was He to go? This is where we pick up:

So, when he had considered this, he came to the house of Mary, the mother of John whose surname was Mark, where many were gathered together praying. And as Peter knocked at the door of the gate, a girl named Rhoda came to answer. When she recognized Peter’s voice, because of her gladness she did not open the gate, but ran in and announced that Peter stood before the gate. But they said to her, “You are beside yourself!” Yet she kept insisting that it was so. So they said, “It is his angel.” Now Peter continued knocking; and when they opened the door and saw him, they were astonished. But motioning to them with his hand to keep silent, he declared to them how the Lord had brought him out of the prison. And he said, “Go, tell these things to James and to the brethren.” And he departed and went to another place. (Acts 12:12-17)

Not much is shared with us regarding Rhoda. Was she a little girl or a teenager? Was she a believer of Jesus? Was she meeting at John Mark’s home to pray? Was she related to anyone? Who is this Rhoda? The Greek word for girl is paidiskē, meaning a young girl, a damsel, maid-servant, young female slave. We can conclude that she worked at this home and was most likely responsible for answering the door.

When Peter knocks, we read that she recognized His voice. In the Greek, recognize is epiginōskō, meaning thoroughly acquainted with, to know thoroughly, to know accurately, know well. I dare to say that she must have sat and heard Peter’s exhortations, preaching’s and heard of the miracles. We read that upon hearing Peter’s voice she overjoyed and overflowed with gladness, so much so that she forgot to open the door for Him and ran quickly to proclaim the good news.

Can you imagine with me, the excitement in her voice as she tells the praying saints that He whom they are praying for is free and at their door? They mocked her and even accused her of being crazy but she insisted. How far was their faith that even if it were an Angel at the door, they did not react. But Rhoda was persistent.

Rhoda experienced firsthand the power of prayer and the miracle of a life set free. I challenge you today to imitate her. Much like Rhoda we are servants. We serve a great and mighty God. She was surrounded by prayer warriors. Are you surrounded my people who pray? Are you a prayer warrior? Rhoda recognized the voice of a mighty man of valor. Are you able to discern the voice of the Lord? Can you recognize His voice above all others? Rhoda was filled with gladness upon witnessing the goodness of the Lord. When those around you are blessed by God, are you filled with gladness or bitterness?

Rhoda was used by God as the messenger of good news. You are a messenger of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the ultimate good news. They lashed out in scorn at Rhoda, the person who told them that their prayers had been answered. Beloved Sisters, the world will lash out in scorn at you but be encouraged by young Rhoda who did not keep silent.

In what ways are you a messenger of good news?

Filling up by Flirting Out: A Five-Part Series on Flirting

by Kristie Vosper

There was a girl who I grew up with, we’ll call her Jenny. In every season of life Jenny seemed to win the school popularity contest. She was cool and cute, but it was in high school that I deduced her secret weapon: she was a great flirt.

I watched her one day in the lunch shelter as she flirted her way across a table full of the football team. She wasn’t discriminating as I had been doing, mostly because I was totally unnerved and shy around a large group of teenage boys eating their lunch. She flirted with all of the boys no matter what their social status, attractiveness, or athleticism. I remember being surprised and taken aback as I watched her flash her long eyelashes and a coy look out the corner of her eye touching their knees and calling them by name. Did she really like him? Was she really into that guy? Why did I catch her flirting with an unattractive boy who was not cool or popular? She didn’t come off as slutty, but powerful. Her power seemed to work and so in those days of feeling powerless, I learned to flirt.

I’d play the game, flirting in the grocery store or at school with any semi-attractive man that I could gain some validation from. It wasn’t that I wanted to date most of them, it was truly about finding out if they would look back at me. It was an exchange of validation between the sexes. I learned how to use men for my own validation and I’m quite sure that this is what Jenny in High School was doing too. It was about feeling powerful, sexy and beautiful. I learned how false confidence could feel like adrenaline soothing, for a moment, the soul in so much need of real love.

Before you think I’m blacklisting all flirting and calling it evil, I do think that flirting can be good. It is part of being human. Like almost everything, it can be turned in another direction and be used and abused. It’s hard to draw a hard line in the sand because I think there is something good and well about a man or a woman enjoying the beauty and ascetic of another. It’s a question of intention that we all must wrestle with to know if our motives have shifted to an unhealthy place.

I had another friend in college. By profession, her mom was an impersonator of a famous actress. She traveled to Vegas and did shows all over for money because she looked so much like this famous woman. My friend told me that on the days her mom needed extra attention she would watch to see the color of her lipstick and the cut of her shirt tell the story of how valuable her mom was feeling that day. On those low cut, tight fit, shocking red lipstick days, I imagined that her mother wasn’t all that present to her or anyone, but out patrolling the men in her vicinity looking for some attention and eye contact. I believe on these days her mom felt lonely and wanted to be seen.

I know other girls who simply don’t know how to flirt. They’ve come to me asking “how” as if they feel totally stripped of their sexuality because they learned it was all taboo. If they really like a guy, they don’t know how to communicate that non-verbally. In this case, I think learning to flirt and feeling free to express yourself in this way is good and part of life. You will want to flirt with your husband, it’s part of being alive and sexual. All flirting is not bad.

Let’s ask some questions together: What is flirting? Is it good? Is it healthy? Should we do it? If so, when? Do we have to get so serious and analytical about something that seems harmless and fun?

To live a healthy life of intention and freedom, yes, we do need to look at this topic and bring it into the light. I love to flirt, but over the years I’ve had to learn how to be a healthy flirt so that my worth and value are coming from the right place. I know when my flirtation goes in the wrong direction and uses others for validation with no intention of following through with what my eyes might be suggesting.

Let’s have eyes that are authentic and wide to the world, showing our true self and the light we have inside. Let’s not be women who use others to fill the empty places inside of us. To great men, our kind eyes and pure hearts will be the thing they are looking for most. Sultry glances will only fill us for a moment, but truly knowing our value takes time and goes the distance.

Upcoming Blogs in this series:

• Competitive Flirting
• How & When to Flirt
• Self-Esteem & Flirting: Healthy Validation
• Boundaries for Unwanted Flirting
• Intentional Living: “He doesn’t just flirt with anyone, he must like you!”

If there is another aspect of flirting that you think we should cover, leave a comment below and we’ll take it into consideration.

Get honest with yourself: When do you flirt and why?

Beauty to Pursue

by Arielle Royer

In what non-physical ways do you pursue beauty?

Crags & Clay

Standing up from crags and clay
The peaks of earth
In full display
They break the lines
That break the sky
That’s full of life
Full of life

The chaos of creation’s dance
A tapestry, a symphony
Of life himself
Of love herself
It’s written in our very skin

All praises to the one who made it all
Who made it all
All praises to the one who made it all
And finds it beautiful

Soil is spilling life to life
Stars are born
To fill the night
The ocean’s score
The majesty
Of sculpted shore
Mystery

All praises…
Fearfully and wonderfully and beautifully made

Whales for Life

by Natalie Lynn Borton

One of the many reasons I love my girlfriends is that we email each other regularly--whether to check in, to share news, to pass along links or YouTube videos. On Thursday, Erin sent us an email titled "whales for life" with a link to a post from the Sunnie Brook beauty blog. In the post, Sunnie included a story she read on beauty that was oh-so-profound and true. Read and be inspired...

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness. They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia. They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on CDs. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist. But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish? They would have no sex life and could not bear children. Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad. And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies. We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated. Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I?!"

Regardless of my size, I pray that I will be like the whale described in this story. What a beautiful picture of what really matters in life--of what is truly beautiful and worth living for. Ladies, let's stop trying to be mermaids and start living the whale's life!

How does this story affect your view of beauty?

Red Letter Ink Giveaway!!

by Natalie Lynn Borton

Hey girls! Today is your lucky day because we are doing a giveaway from Red Letter Ink, whose work you might recognize if you read our last post on true identity (the image is one of their beautiful prints!!). I know what you're thinking now...How do I enter?!?

1. Head on over to their etsy shop and browse around.
2. Pick your favorite print and tell us why you love it.
3. Check back on Wednesday, October 26 to see if you're the winner.

Did you check out the Red Letter Ink Etsy shop? Which of the Red Letter Ink prints is your favorite and why?

P.S. Here's some more info about Red Letter Ink and their founder, Aimee...

Aimee has loved art from very early on, according to her mom. She was always the one making posters for various events at church or in the neighborhood, and always came up with creative, homemade gifts for family and friends as a child. So it was no surprise when she declared her college major in the field of graphic design. After earning her degree, Aimee worked in corporate America as an in-house graphic designer for several years.

She left her full-time job shortly after the birth of their second child, when she and her husband received a heart-wrenching diagnosis of a neurological disorder for their eldest child who had just turned 2. But as He always does, God had a plan and provided freelance work so Aimee was able to manage multiple therapy appointments each week with their daughter while running her freelance graphic design business, which flourished.

Deep down, Aimee's desire had always been to use her gifts to create artwork grounded in scripture--especially as scripture provided so much comfort and hope to Aimee and her husband as they dealt with the challenges and uncertainty that comes with having a child with special needs. That dream finally came true in April 2011 when Aimee started her second business, Red Letter Ink. She's excited to continue on this journey to see how God is going to use this business to bless others!

True Identity

by Natalie Lynn Borton

I attend a women's bible study on Tuesday mornings and have been blessed with a wonderful small group leader and group of peers that I look forward to meeting with every week. Last week, our leader Spring handed out fun, homemade bookmarks for us all to take with us. They were left over from the study on the book of Ephesians she'd done in the summer, and covered with affirming truths from Scripture about our identity in christ. At the bottom is an excerpt from Victory Over Darkness by Dr. Neil Anderson:

"The more you reaffirm who you are in Christ, the more your behavior will begin to reflect your true identity."

Today, let's dwell on and reaffirm our identity in Christ...

I am accepted...

• I am God's child. (John 1:12)
• I am Christ's friend. (John 15:15)
• I have been justified. (Romans 5:1)
• I am united with the Lord and I am one spirit with Him. (1 Corinthians 6:17)
• I have been bought with a price. I belong to God. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
• I am a member of Christ's body. (1 Corinthians 12:27)
• I am a saint. (Ephesians 1:1)
• I have been adopted as God's child. (Ephesians 1:5)
• I have direct access to God through the Holy Spirit. (Ephesians 2:18)
• I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. (Colossians 1:14)
• I am complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:10)

I am secure...

I am free from condemnation. (Romans 8:1-2)
• I am assured that all things work together for good. (Romans 8:28)
• I am free from any condemning charges against me. (Romans 8:31-34)
• I cannot be separated from the love of God. (Romans 8:35-39)
• I have been established, anointed and sealed by God. (2 Corinthians 1:21-22)
• I am hidden with Christ in God. (Colossians 3:3)
• I am confident that the good work God has begun in me will be perfected. (Philippians 1:6)
• I am a citizen of heaven. (Philippians 3:20)
• I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)
• I can find grace and mercy in time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)
• I am born of God, and the evil one cannot touch me. (1 John 5:18)

I am significant...

• I am the salt and light of the earth. (Matthew 5:13-14)
• I am a branch of the true vine, a channel of His life. (John 15:1,5)
• I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit. (John 15:16)
• I am a personal witness of Christ's. (Acts 1:8)
• I am God's temple. (1 Corinthians 3:16)
• I am a minister of reconciliation for God. (2 Corinthians 5:17-21)
• I am God's co-worker. (2 Corinthians 6:1)
• I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realm. (Ephesians 2:6)
• I am God's workmanship. (Ephesians 2:10)
• I may approach God with freedom and confidence. (Ephesians 3:12)
• I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

Did you know these truths before? Did you learn anything new about your identity in Christ?

You Are More

In the case of those who struggle with disordered eating, the standard of legalism might be to be ‘model thin’ to achieve a certain weight at all costs, or to believe that when we ‘lose’ weight, life will be perfect and we will be free from all our problems. When we adopt external methods to constrain our behavior, we’re buying the lie that victory can be won with our self-will.

While ‘losing weight’ might result in an immediate increase in our sense of self-worth and value, it is temporary and does not change the deep-rooted feeling that we are irredeemably flawed nor does it satisfy our silent hunger for intimacy with God.

Judy Halliday, Thin Again
(Co-Author of HEAL & Author of Thin Within & Thin Again).

Has the scale ever been your enemy? How did you overcome (or how are you currently overcoming) that?

Identity: Who Am I?

by Natalie Lynn Borton

What do you identify yourself by? What makes you who you are? Is it your relationships? Your major or college degree? Your profession? Your strengths? Your weaknesses? It’s so easy to get wrapped up in our worldy identity and forget our primary identity–our identity in Christ. We are HIS. We are created by Him and for Him. We are dead to ourselves and alive through His Spirit.

I discovered a “Prayer of Identity” in a book a read a few years ago, which goes something like this...

I am not (my relationships)
I am not (my training/degree)
I am not (my job)
I am not (my gifts)
I am not (my failures)

Here's my personal Prayer of Identity:

I am not a wife, daughter, grandchild, or mentor.
I am not a communications expert.
I am not a Director of Marketing, a writer or speaker
I am not intelligent, funny, organized, insightful or passionate.
I am not envious, judgmental, selfish, controlling or impatient.
I am none of these.
I am a naked soul clothed in the righteousness of Christ.

Try this exercise for yourself. Who are you?

She Needs Us: Girls, Self-Hatred and Toxic Hazardous Culture

by Kristie Vosper

This summer I was talking to a young woman in Malibu about the pressures she says the girls are facing at Malibu High. I know well that Malibu High is just one of the many many high school campuses where girls are epidemically struggling in a prison of self-hatred when it comes to their bodies. As someone committed to working with women to help them recover from this problem, as I have, I wanted to listen well to this girl.

She is 15, beautiful and articulate. I asked her permission to share this story and she has given it to me willingly. A few months ago she was approached by a modeling agent who said they would like to bring her on board. Once that conversation began, the agent said to the 15 year old girl, "you'll need to lose about 30 pounds first."

This girl doesn't need to lose a pound. Seriously.

She looked at me with a rare confidence as she told the story. She said,

"Kristie, I just didn't want to get into that kind of thinking. I know my body is healthy and I am at an ideal weight for my height. It just made me so sad that this is the standard."

The next part of what she said is the part that haunts me to this day: With a serious, and undramatic matter-of-fact tone she said,

"You know, here's the thing: Each summer a whole group come back from vacation thinner. Their clothes hang on their bodies. Their bones stick out. I look around and I think, 'we're creating our own holocaust,' and is anyone doing anything about it!?"

Here is a video my friend Hugo Schwyzer and the wonderful people at Heathy is the New Skinny put together. It is a message to the fashion industry, and a message to each one of us. They're doing something, Wonderfully Made is doing something, and it makes me excited. Watch, share, spread the word. Our girls are dying inside and many on the outside...and we must do something.

What do you think about "Healthy is the New Skinny"? Do you think the fashion industry will ever change?

P.S. Have you downloaded Allie's Body Beautiful App yet? It's the only iPhone app that promotes positive body image and self-esteem among women and girls!

Morning Renewal

by Natalie Lynn Borton

I love mornings. They are certainly my favorite time of day, and what I look forward to every night as I fall asleep. As my dear friend Kenna once said to me, "It's as if you wait all night for morning to come." It's sort of silly, but also somewhat true.

I like mornings for a variety of reasons: breakfast, crisp air, hot beverages. But the main reason is the feeling of renewal. Each day is fresh and brand new. What happened in the past is gone, and you have nothing but the future ahead.

We no longer need to give in to our bad habits or the sin we seem to fall into over and over again. With a new day, there is grace and the opportunity to take another step toward the women we were created to be.

When do you feel most renewed?

Featured Cause: Project Night Night

by Chrissy Watson

In my house, in my closet, in a box marked, "Keepsakes" is a blue baby blanket I've had since the day I was born. While pregnant with me my mom made this blanket. She hoped and prayed I would be a girl and thought if she made a pink baby blanket, with her luck I would come out a boy.

I slept with my blue blanket every night, it kept me warm, and comforted me. I remember going to church camp for the first time and taking it with me. Yes, if you're wondering, I was in 7th grade.

Even now when I stumble across that blanket I feel loved and so blessed to have it. I think we all have something we slept with when we were kids, something we treasured and couldn't sleep without. Take a moment to think what that was for you and I'll bet a smile comes across your face at that memory.

Little things like that in life make us who we are. They're in our hearts forever.

I want to introduce you girls to an awesome cause that is doing powerful things in hopes that those memories can live on forever, in the heart of every child.

Project Night Night donates over 25,000 Night Night Packages each year. A Night Night Package contains a new blanket, a children's book, and a stuffed animal. This organization has one goal- to deliver Night Night Packages to every homeless child in the country who needs one.

Check out their website for more information on the organization and ways you can get involved. There are so many ways we can comfort these homeless children! Let's start by giving them something they will remember and carry in their heart forever.

Yearning for Joy

by Natalie Lynn Borton

Over this past year, there have been quite a few tragedies in Brian's and my circles of friends. From death and sickness to tough friendships and trouble at work, so many people seemed to be having a rough season in 2011. The always inspiring C.S. Lewis once wrote,

Human history is the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.

It's tragic but true. How often have you looked back on your life (or looked at the present) and realized that you are desperately searching for joy and happiness in all the wrong places? Your boyfriend, your family, your grades, your job, your clothes--none will ever satisfy the yearning for joy that is deep in your soul. That, girls, can only come from the one who created you to yearn for it. You may be one of those people who is in a rough season.

Maybe you are battling with lies about your self-image, maybe you feel dissatisfied with your daily work, or maybe you just feel apathetic about life in general. When I feel that way, I like to remember that we were made to live fully alive and to have life abundantly. If we aren't experiencing it now, we will experience it in time. God is a redeemer and a healer. He comforts us when we're down, and promises to renew all things in time.

"I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow." (Jeremiah 31:13)

What have you turned to (or are you currently turning to) in order to satisfy your soul's yearning for joy?

A Force of Beauty

by Natalie Lynn Borton

Last week I got an email from my dear friend Shawna about a commercial that I just had to watch. It's part of the new Bare Escentuals ad campaign, Be a Force of Beauty. Those of you with the luxury of cable television may already have seen this commercial and realized what a gem it is, but for the rest of us still depending on Netflix for our entertainment, this is for you--it's a message I want us all to grasp!

Pretty is not enough. Pretty is nice. It's fine. Pretty can turn heads. But beauty? Beauty can change the whole world. Pretty is what you are, but beauty is what you do with it. Pretty lifts spirits. Beauty makes them soar. So smile. Be bold. Show your beauty. Because when you put pretty into action, there's no limit to what you can do.

So girls, are we going to settle for pretty, or are we willing to step forward into lives of beauty? Will we change the world, make spirits soar, be bold, and show our real God-given beauty to a world that yearns for it? I sure hope so.

What steps can we take to move from our obsession with pretty into a pursuit of real beauty?

Five Ways to Love Yourself Today.

by Natalie Lynn Borton

Good morning, girls! Hope you all had a restful weekend and are feeling refreshed. Today I want to share with you some wisdom from author and women's advocate Jess Weiner. According to Jess, "True confidence is earned over time through your thoughts, actions, and experiences." Below are five ways she recommends for us to love ourselves right now...

1. Forgive. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Forgive your parents. You get the drill. But when you begin to let go of resentments and regret you begin to immediately feel lighter and more loving. Now, forgiving isn’t the same as forgetting – so take some time to dig up any old or recent issues you’ve buried and confront them head on.
2. Take small steps of action. Can’t stand your job? Revamp your resume. Feeling bad for not spending enough time with your kids? Log off the computer right now and play with them! Unhappy with your physical wellness…strap on your sneakers and take a walk. Get out of your head and into your life. Taking an immediate action when we feel bogged down mentally – will help you move the energy in a new direction.
3. Practice grace daily. You know that nasty nagging voice in your head? The one that says you can’t do anything right? Well tell it (gently) to go take a hike! Grace holds the space for things to be in progress, imperfect, and messy. Practice daily Grace and like a muscle, the more you exercise it the stronger it becomes.
4. Pay attention to your body. Yes, that vehicle of flesh, blood, and bones that carries you around from one amazing experience to another needs your attention! Stop bashing it, ignoring it, neglecting it, or abusing it. It wants love just like you do. And part of loving your body is really tuning into it. Learn its cues: when you are tired, rest. When you are hungry, eat. When you are stressed, breathe. (See step #2 Take Action). It really can be that simple.
5. Make friends with patience and progress. Becoming buddies with the qualities of patience and progress will help you roll more smoothly through life’s experiences. Patience (see #3 on daily Grace) is all about allowing yourself to make mistakes, learn and grow, and inviting others to do the same. Remember, happiness is not just a destination in life but a manner of traveling!

Could you add anything to this list? How do you love yourself?