Gripping the Ground: Overcoming Negative Thoughts

by Abby Farr

[photo credit]

Have you ever found yourself desperate or discouraged? I'm not quick to acknowledge such negative sounding emotions, but as I've found myself in a season with all of life up in the air, I woke up this morning finally able to identify the yucky feelings I've been having lately.

They aren't constant, but they are whirling around inside of me enough to influence too much of my life. After spending a day at Disneyland—a place proclaimed as the happiest place on earth—only to be 80% present due to the chaos in my mind, I knew I needed to act fast. Being such a visual and tactile person, I knew I needed similar action points. So after consulting a few friends and some personal self-reflection here's the game plan I've come up with:

1. Be positive.
I need to take every thought I have captive and convert any negative ones into positive ones. Otherwise, before I know it, I can create a whole horrible story in my head that never has and probably never will happen. I've found not letting myself finish those stories is harder than I thought since I've never fully treated the issue. In fact, sometimes “going there” to that destructive spot with my thoughts can feel more comfortable than banning those thoughts and making the effort to create an appreciative one instead. But after day one of being very intentional not to, I've been in a much better place, and head space.

2. Get Grounded.
Another idea a couple of friends gave me has to do with getting grounded. One literally recommended grabbing hold of something solid and sturdy when my thoughts or feelings begin to wander to out of control land. The other suggested imagining my feet growing roots deep into the ground. Then my footing will be steady and strong.

3. Feel the feelings.
The third tip, so I don't overwhelm myself with a million and end up doing zilch, is to have my feelings. If I am feeling desperate, for example, it's okay for me to let that feeling sink into my core, and then let it flow out of me. I do this when I'm by myself, even if that means going to the bathroom at a restaurant for a moment. Likewise, I need to be selective with who I share such deep emotions with because not everyone needs or wants to hear it—and venting may only impregnate the exact seeds of feelings I want to pass away. Experiencing my despair rather than trying to suppress it delivers me through that dark feeling place much faster than holding back the emotion altogether.

Each of these ideas help me to move on from painful moments and take charge of my feelings, rather than letting them get the best of me or have any control over a day filled with great hope and potential. I hope these few baby steps I'm beginning to implement will help you when your feelings feel out of wack, too!

What are your strategies for overcoming discouragement?

Drawing the Line: Unwanted Attention

by Kristie Vosper

In the last few weeks I’ve covered the topic of flirting. We’ve talked about flirting for validation, competitive flirting, and the art of putting yourself out there. This week I’d like to address an important part of the flirting conversation: How do you set boundaries when someone is making you uncomfortable by flirting with you when don’t want them to?

I’m not talking about flirting when the love is simply unrequited with someone who is respectful and nice. I want to address the category of behaviors that fall into a disrespectful and unwanted place. I’m talking about flirting that crosses the line.

Our culture raises girls to please others and be nice. How do you please and be nice when someone is almost forcing you to hug them. How can you say “no” to a hug? Isn’t that being rude? Doesn’t everyone deserve a good hug?

Nope. No they don’t. Well, sure they do…but not that kind of hug. They can get their hug somewhere else.

After years and years of being nice to unwanted attention, I was in college when I began to understand the repeated damage my passive behavior was having on my soul. My passive behavior was not to blame for the unwanted affection, but I learned that I could be kind and bold in the same moment and take care and protect myself a little better.

There was a usual crew of college-aged people who would gather at a local coffee shop I’d frequent to study and socialize. Amongst the coffee shop crew of regulars was a guy named Clint. Each time I’d go to study, Clint would come up to me in this fake-sultry “I’m going to be a Casanova and woo you” kind of way. He gave me a feeling that made me want to run away. It wasn’t friendly, it wasn’t even good-flirty, it was just yucky. He always wanted to give me these long, smelly hugs.

One day as Clint approached me after I'd armed myself with some new boundaries, courtesy of my therapist, I said, “Oh, no thank you. No hugs today,” and I put my hand out to prevent him from moving closer towards my body. Did it frustrate him? Probably. I smiled. I was nice. I just didn’t let him step into my physical space and take from me in a way that I didn’t want to give.

I had to let go of worrying about the feelings of someone who was being inappropriate and care more about my heart. I had to learn how to take care of myself and ask to be treated the way that I deserve.

There is a difference between giving and being taken from. Ask yourself the hard questions: Is someone “taking” from you? You’re not there’s to take. Are you afraid of what it would be like if you didn’t just play along? It might seem harmless, but it really isn’t. You’re worth more than this. Flirting, hugs and affection are a way of giving generously of yourself. You want to be the one to give of yourself and guard against being taken from.

Some personalities don’t struggle with this as much as others. As someone who is by nature (and also nurture) a pleaser, setting these boundaries has been a vital part of my freedom and health.

I don’t think we have to resort to mean-girl behavior (but you certainly should if it’s needed) every time we set a boundary. For me, I wanted to be true to who I am. I wanted to be kind, but I also wanted to be firm and bold. It’s amazing how much being polite while you set a boundary shocks people. It’s as if they don’t have a mental category for nice and bold.

Let’s practice together:

• “Oh, no thank you. I don’t want your hugs anymore.”
• “Please leave me alone. I’m not interested in you this way.”

There have been plenty of instances where a bit more strength is necessary, but if it’s just someone who doesn’t seem to know the line, then they clearly need help finding it. Spelling it out might seem rude, but their unwanted movement towards the precious things you offer the world is all the more intolerable.

Practicing boundaries and making them a natural part of your behavior might take time and practice, but it’s worth the work. Your vulnerability is worth protecting because it is a precious part of who you are.

Steps towards having great boundaries:

1. Look for role models. Who do you want to become? Who do you see that sets good boundaries but hasn’t let it become a wall around them? Watch their boundaries and learn to make them your own.
2. Read good books. A starting place would be Boundaries by Henry Cloud.
3. Find someone to celebrate you. Explain your desire to grow in learning good boundaries with someone you think will “get it” and who “gets you.” Ask them to be someone with whom you can celebrate a boundary set, a conversation had, and the moments when it doesn’t go well. Find people who you can walk the road of freedom with.
4. Seek help. The roots of my mandatory care-taking and epidemic pleasing ran deep. I needed the help of a great therapist to uncover why I did what I did. I had healing work to do.

Deborah: Mighty Leader

by Raquel Rodriguez

[photo credit]

Deborah, the wife of Lappidoth, was a prophet who was judging Israel at that time. She would sit under the Palm of Deborah, and the Israelites would go to her for judgment. One day she sent for Barak son of Abinoam. She said to him, “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, commands you: Call out 10,000 warriors from the tribes of Naphtali and Zebulun at Mount Tabor. And I will call out Sisera, commander of Jabin’s army, along with his chariots and warriors, to the Kishon River. There I will give you victory over him.” Barak told her, “I will go, but only if you go with me.” “Very well,” she replied, “I will go with you. But you will receive no honor in this venture, for the Lord’s victory over Sisera will be at the hands of a woman.” So Deborah went with Barak to Kedesh. (Judges 4:4-9)

In the times of the book of Judges, Israel was a wicked and perverse nation. Having forgotten the Lord their God, the people were spiritually malnourished. Israel was oppressed by their enemies and national chaos was rampant. The Lord brought up judges whose leadership imparted wisdom, temporary restoration, deliverance and rule. They were primarily known for their military victories. A prophet is an interpreter of the times, of the people’s heart, who reveals divine revelations and who is the mouthpiece of God. We read that Deborah was all of the above. And true to the word that the Lord spoke through her, victory was given to Israel and indeed, Sisera was defeated by the hand of a woman.

Deborah is the only female judge recorded in the scriptures. Her wisdom and leadership set her apart in a time when male leadership was lacking and zeal and courage was lost. She is an example to us of obedience as well, for when the Lord spoke; she immediately called for Barak to lead the people in a holy war against their oppressor. Adding on to her list of virtues, she had great courage. Let’s not forget that without hesitation she joined 10, 000 men in a journey to deliver her nation.

There were few people left in the villages of Israel— until Deborah arose as a mother for Israel. (Judges 5:7)

Judges chapter 5 is a song written by Barak and Deborah. Interesting that when she describes herself, she writes as “a mother for Israel”. She does not refer to herself as wife of Lappidoth, prophet, judge, warrior, general or any other term of leadership. She terms herself as mother. Indeed she acted as a mother would towards her children: protecting the people, leading them in the right direction, inspiring righteousness, leading them to a place of restoration. Her strong faith made way for peace in Israel that lasted 40 years.

Whether you are in a leadership role or not, God wants you to be a Deborah in your sphere of influence. We live in a society much like hers, the people around us do as they please; they are wicked, perverse and selfish. There are Christians around us who are spiritually malnourished and have forgotten the Lord. As Deborah did, lets call a holy war and fight this battle for our families, friends and all mankind. Be proactive when it comes to loving the lost and loving the found.

Ephesians 6:10-20 gives us the perfect armor for this battle. Purpose to be honest, just, obedient, courageous, and selfless as Deborah was in her days. May you be set apart by your great faith. And may you be “as a mother” to those around you, inspiring them to righteousness and leading them to the Prince of Peace.

Which of Deborah’s characteristics would you like to have?

More Than a Love Song

by Allie Marie Smith

As a baby of the eighties, I'll never forget the days of being a tiny passenger in my parent's tan Toyota minivan as love songs like Diana Ross and Lionel Richie's "Endless Love" blared in the background. To and from the soccer filed, softball field, McDonalds and school "today's mix 106.5" would keep us company.

As an emo-driven Barbara Streisand song played, I remember vividly asking my parents "Why is every song on the radio about a man and woman in love?" Isn't there something else, something better people can sing about? Even as a pint-sized, freckled-faced tomboy I knew that there had to be a greater type of love—though it would be several years later before I'd encounter it for myself.

Though I'm pretty adept at singing Taylor Swift's entire album in the shower, I prefer to listen to songs that speak of the deepest kind of love humanity has ever experienced.

Above is Josh Garrels (one of my absolute favorite artists) speaking about the love that compels his music and art. You might recognize his unique style in the background music of our Psalm 139 video.

If you haven't already, you better go TREAT YO-SELF and download his latest album "Love & War & The Sea in Between" for FREE. Like right now. You can thank me later!

Happy Thanksgiving

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"I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance."
Ephesians 1:16-18

What are you thankful for this year?

Jesus + Nothing = Everything (Part Two)

by Jeff Bethke

[photo credit]

Yesterday we looked at the fact that every human being, no matter the age or gender, has exchanged the Creator for the created. The fundamental problem with the human race isn't an attitude problem, a psychological problem, but rather an identity problem. We worship everything except the actual one who is worthy of our worship.

Only through Christ's exchange for us can we rid ourselves of the exchange we've made for Him. Today we're going to look at three common areas young ladies tend to make an exchange, and place their identity and worth in something other than the King.

1. Worldly Pleasures & Possessions
First, is worldly pleasures, or what feels good. Rather than defining ourselves as royalty and children of the king, we demote ourselves to slaves. We are simply a slave to our fleshly desires and can’t help but be ruled by them. We are a slave to the newest fashions, a slave to the newest relationship, or a slave to newest parties. Test yourself, by asking, could you go out in public in sweats and no makeup and still feel beautiful and loved by God? If not, you probably have made an idol of appearance.

Here’s the thing though, do they ever satisfy? Never. Worldly pleasures always over-promise, and under-deliver. They never work. Human history is the miserable conveyor belt of humans getting exactly what they desire and going “What?! This is it?! Is this all there is?!” and then repeating that cycle until death hoping the next thing will finally bring rest. Like the verse in the beginning states though, we have every spiritual blessing in Christ in the heavenly places.

You already have everything you will ever need and want! We have all the life, all the blessing, all the riches, all the love we can ever ask for and that is more than enough to satisfy. What could a gadget, a boy, or a party give you that Christ couldn’t give you more deeply? It’s like toilet water. If we were slaves and had nothing better, I think we would actually enjoy and crave toilet water, not caring that it’d make us sick later. So it is with sin. But, we are children of the King that get free, living water (Jesus) that satisfies for eternity. When you have fresh living water, toilet water because less attractive. Let us see Jesus in this way also. Let him become so glorious and attractive to us that sin starts to become less desirable.

2. Worldly Performance
This one is an epidemic in America. Rather than demoting ourselves to slaves, we promote ourselves to the place of God. We are king, we make the rules, what we do is what defines us. Ask yourself, especially if you’re a Christian, do you gain worth from your quiet time, your singing at church, and your moral effort? What is it like when you don’t do these things? Is your joy gone? Do you feel grumpy? If so, you’ve probably made an idol out of your performance.

This has been exceedingly true in my life, especially as of recent. God has graciously been dealing with me and my addiction to the approval of others. I’ve noticed that I have a tendency to perform, speak and write articles not just for the approval of God, but for the approval of man. I get my worth more from what people say about my content, than what God does. It’s intoxicating.

“That we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ…” (Ephesians 1:4-5)

Like that verse says though, He has presented us holy and blameless. He performs, not us. We have been adopted into the royal family, solely because of what he has done. We don’t need to earn anything. Think about a royal family for a second, and the benefits the children receive. Do they not have access to everything the King has access to? Whatever their father owns is theirs—free of charge—simply because they are a child of the King. So it is with Christ! We earn nothing, but inherit everything.

3. Worldly Past & Pain
This one can usually be because of a failure in the first two. Instead of defining ourselves by what we own, or what feels good, we define ourselves by our mistakes and our past. We are merely a sum of that adultery we had, that abusive relationship we were in, that abortion years ago, or that shame and guilt of an incident that still haunts us. We are no different than Adam and Eve who after falling into temptation felt “naked and ashamed” and tried to clothe their nakedness with fig leaves. Aren’t we the same? We might not use fig leaves, but we try to clothe nakedness and shame with the newest shoes, the newest boyfriend, or the newest smartphone.

It’s in those moments though where Christ just softly whispers, “I Love You.” Have you ever let Him graciously say that to your soul? Have you lingered in it? 1 John 2:1 suggests that right in the moment (not after) of your sin, your filth, and your shame God whispers, “I Love You, I am your Advocate.” Because we are in Jesus, even in the moment of our sinning God doesn’t see us in our sin but rather sees us holy and blameless in Christ! That is scandalous grace! And we wonder why Christ was hated and murdered by the religious leaders, that is why. Grace is dangerous, but beautiful. He sees us as if we have already lived a perfect and obedient life. God loves us with the same love He loved His son.

Jesus absorbed all our shame, guilt, and sin on the cross 2000 years ago, stop trying to pay for it yourself. He looks down and says, “It’s paid for, you are mine, you are a child of the King.” Nothing can change that because being a child has nothing to do with activity it has everything to do with identity. If we were an employee, God could fire us when we mess up (like the prodigal son suggested when he returned home and asked the father to make him one of his “hired servants). But, when we are a child of Him, He doesn’t fire us when we mess up He actually gets more intimately aware with situation like every good father does!

So, whoever you are, please rest in the fact that you are His beautiful and holy child. You have freedom to struggle because Jesus bought it for you on the cross. He took your sin, and gives us His righteousness. You are in Jesus, and He is in Heaven, which means you are secure.

Why do you think we are so hesitant to release our other identities and rest securely in our identity in Christ?

Jesus + Nothing = Everything (Part One)

by Jeff Bethke

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ.” (Ephesians 1:3-5)

Think for a second of all the different hats you wear on a consistent basis. What roles define you? For me, I am Jeff the employee, Jeff the athlete, Jeff the roommate, Jeff the son, Jeff the brother, etc. Maybe you’re Katie the hairdresser, Molly the dancer, Caitlin the daughter. Out of all those you thought of, which one if taken from you would hurt you the most? Which one would affect you if changed?

If it’s not the fact that you are a child of God, then you are probably not living how God intended you to live in His fullness. Because, truthfully speaking, being a child of God is the only one that can’t be taken from you. If we put our identity in anything but Christ we are putting our identity in something broken. It will hurt if I lose my job, or my family, or my ability to throw a baseball, but I know that God calls us to put our identity in Christ because we can never lose our status of being a child of the King!

The truth is though we all in one way or another have put our hope in something other than Christ. We have done what Romans 1:25 states by exchanging the truth about God for a lie, and worshiping and serving the created over the Creator. The base fundamental issue with society is in this verse. The reason we struggle, or have sin in our lives, or aren’t living how we were designed to be is because we have exchanged the truth about God for a lie and put our identity in created things. This problem lies at the root of all sin.

So, ultimately you don’t just have an insecurity problem, or a relationship-addiction problem, or a disordered eating problem, but most fundamentally you have an identity problem. You don’t know who you really are. Who you really are has nothing to do with you. It's all about His performance, not yours; His victory, not yours; His efforts, not yours.

Tomorrow we will look at the three predominant areas most young ladies tend to put their identity in besides Jesus. But for now, ask yourself these questions:

What lies are you buying into? What if taken from you would you not be able to survive without?

Ask, Seek, Knock: How to Make Your Dreams Reality

by Natalie Lynn Borton

[photo credit]

This print could not go more perfectly with what I learned this morning. Instead of listening to my usual pump-up 50 Cent-inspired Pandora station (embarrassing, but true), I decided to listen to one of the Mars Hill podcasts by Mark Driscoll. The one I picked was on the Holy Spirit, and I figured it would pass the time nicely.

Not only did it do so, but it also reminded me of a truth that this beautiful print gets across so well: we need to take action if we want to see results. If I want God to make my dreams into reality, I need to ask him, seek him out, and annoyingly knock at his proverbial door.

Let's remember...God is our daddy! He has adopted us as his daughters and he wants us to fulfill our dreams to his glory. If you didn't grow up with a father in your life, this is a tough concept, but regardless of whether we had a good and loving father, we need to go to God in the same way a little girl goes to her beloved dad.

She crawls up into his lap, confident of his love for her; she asks for what she really wants, without using fancy words; and she trusts that whether the answer is yes, no, or maybe, her dad hears her request and is glad that she came to him with it.

Rather than sitting back and hoping that life goes our way, let's be women of God and start making things happen through the power of the Holy Spirit, diligence in prayer and the unending love of our Father.

What are you afraid to ask God for? What dreams are you fearful of pursuing?

One Mango Tree Giveaway WINNER

by Natalie Lynn Borton

We apologize for the immense delay. Blogger had a few kinks in it and refused to let us post anything from this blog. Thankfully, all is good and fixed and we can make our announcement.

And the winner is...Miss Rachel B

CONGRATS, girl! Email me so I can get your contact information and send you your adorable new clutch.

Thank you everyone else for participating. Happy Friday!

The Vulnerable Art of Putting Yourself Out There

by Kristie Vosper

“You’ve got to put yourself out there!” some might say to you. In almost the same breath someone else might say, “Don’t look for love. It comes when you least expect it.”

So which is it? Do you look for it or do you ignore it? Do you flirt with men you like or do you foster an apathy for the thing you want very much?

I believe in being authentic. You want to date someone. Okay. That’s real and good. I suppose it’s a balance like most things.

Putting yourself out there doesn’t need to mean wearing your tightest top to the local bar. It should mean being aware, present, open-hearted and flirting a bit.

I think the advice to “not to look for love” is a suggestion to avoid desperately prowling around for a man to give you attention and affection. This is great advice.

There are universal signals that can be identified as flirting. Generally flirting is constructed in a series of non-verbal and verbal signals we give to each other in order to let the other know that you dig them. You like them…you know…that way.

The first time I put myself out there I was in elementary school. In second grade I had a crush on a boy named Matt in my class. When it came time for Valentine’s day I searched through my Care Bear Valentine’s cards for the most suggestive card I could find. I decided it was on Valentine’s Day that I would reveal to my friend Matt that my feelings ran deeper than just liking playing tetherball with him at recess.

At the very bottom of a Valentine’s card I wrote “I like you” in small printing. I was throwing my tiny little love grenade out into the pile of candy hearts and red lollipops to see if perhaps he would like me back. It felt risky and exciting.

After we’d gone around the room dropping our Valentines into our carefully constructed shoeboxes covered in glittlery heart stickers, I sat with my red fruit punch and sugar cookie, dizzy and embarrassed. “What had I done!!??,” I felt totally vulnerable.

Moments later, distracted by the fun and merriment of opening small envelopes filled with treats, a tap on my shoulder startled me. It was Matt.

Matt looked into my eyes and said, “Thanks for my card,” with a big smile on his face.

I was relieved and embarrassed in the same moment. “I guess he knows. I guess it doesn’t freak him out. I guess that’s good,” I thought to myself.

These days, it seems more complicated than valentine cards with “I like you” at the bottom, but is it?

Most of the time we need to give a green light to the person we like in order to let them know that it’s safe to be vulnerable and make the next move.

Several years ago I dated a man named Jake. Week after week at church we’d share fun conversations, smiles, and good eye contact. I thought I was clear, but he hadn’t asked me out. “Did he like me? Why hadn’t he asked me out on a date?”

I made a card (I’m noting a theme here) and sent it in the mail to him after he had missed a few weeks of church. In the note let him know that I’d missed seeing him. Weeks later (yes weeks…it was agonizing) Jake nervously asked me out on a date. I was thrilled!

Later he admitted that he wasn’t sure if I liked him romantically because of all of the male friends I had at church. I talked to them, I joked with them, perhaps I just wanted to be friends. Risking that step to ask me out was a move he needed a little more reassurance to do. My card gave him that green light. Now he knew I liked him, and the good news was that he liked me too.

I didn’t gain his trust just with the card I mailed. I made good eye contact. I affirmed great things I saw in his character, “That’s so cool that you help feed the homeless. I really respect that.” I smiled at him. I touched his arm while we were talking for just a moment (not too long or it’s weird of course). I communicated with non-verbal and verbal signals that I really liked him.

It’s a bit of a fantasy to expect to be asked on a date without showing some sort of clue to the man you’re interested in. Flirting is about being vulnerable and letting someone know you like them. Shine that smile of yours and open your eyes wide. Risk looking at him across the room for more than a second, and look him deep in the eyes and smile at him. It’s vulnerable, it’s not easy, but it’s good to practice because it’s the way we connect with others…and you might find yourself on a date with your crush if it all goes well.

How have you let someone know you like them? Was it vulnerable? Are you willing to take a risk to “put yourself out there?”

Featured Cause: SheaMoisture

by Chrissy Watson

SheaMoisture produces skin care, hair care, baby and shaving products. How can this be a cause to support? I didn’t even know it was one until I bought a bottle of their Coconut & Hibiscus Shea Butter Lotion. Initially I picked it up because I saw the word coconut. I love anything and everything coconut. The taste, smell, everything--I love it. In fact, I still didn’t know until after I purchased it and started reading on the bottle. Here’s what I read:

Sofi Tucker started gathering Shea Nuts for sale at the village market in Bonthe, Sierra Leone in 1912. By age 19 the widowed mother of four was selling her Shea Butter, Black Soap and other homemade hair and skin preparations to villagers, missionaries and tourists all over the countryside.

Sofi Tucker was our Grandmother and SheaMoisture is her legacy. Her story is no different than that of millions of poor women in under-developed countries seeking a better life.

With this purchase, you join our family in supporting disadvantaged growers and helping women like our Grandmother rise above poverty to realize a brighter, healthier future for their children.

Not only is this product amazing it supports women in poverty. Oh and did I mention that it has no formaldehyde, no synthetic color, no synthetic fragrance? Also, no parabens, which can mimic the hormone estrogen, that is known to play a role in the development of breast cancer (learn more here). When parabens are applied to the skin and absorbed through the pores they can mimic estrogen in the body. Too much estrogen in the system can result in hormonal mood disturbances, weigh gain, fluid retention as well as the greater potential for breast cancer. Yikes right? As a certified organic product they leave out a ton of other stuff that can cause cancer and harm your skin instead of help it.

Take care of that beautiful skin of yours while also taking care of women in need! SheaMoisture can now be purchased at any Target, Walgreens or WalMart!

Are you more likely to purchase a beauty product if it's connected to a good cause? Why or why not?

More Beautiful Than You Think.

by Natalie Lynn Borton

I completely agree with this statement. Every day I seem to be reminded of just how small the world is and how connected we all are to one another. You and so-and-so went to high school together? Who knew? Additionally, I am consistently surprised by the unique and unexpected ways beauty shows up in other people.

One minute someone is a completely average person next to me in line, the next minute they purchase coffee for a stranger or pay me a kind compliment and my opinion of them is completely changed. Through one action, they switch from unremarkable to notably kind. That's the beauty we need to see more of. True beauty, which comes from kindness, generosity, love, and joy.

Let's open our eyes, and ask God to show us more of the beauty that's all around us.

When have you encountered beauty in someone else unexpectedly?

Permission to Enjoy: Reflections from a Saltwater Cowgirl

by Allie Marie Smith

Print by Mae Chevrette

Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice. (Phillippians 4:4)

What is our chief purpose in life? This famous question presented in the Westminster Shorter Catechism is answered with profound simplicity:

To glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever.

Most of us girls are well aware of the first part of our purpose. But how often do we intentionally enjoy God with total whimsy and absolute abandon? Like, really, completely, fully enjoy God?

The good and perfect gifts God provides come in two forms - physical (or common grace) blessings and spiritual blessings.

The other day I went horseback riding on ocean bluffs and galloped through canyons, picked wild avocados and surfed tiny waves on a giant red longboard. As a girl who has had my dark days and darker nights, I sometimes feel guilty to have such good days. And sometimes the fear that something horrible is going to happen to ruin it all robs me of joy in the moment.

Me on my ride.

While the physical blessings of that day were momentous, it was the spiritual blessing of being clothed in peace that surpasses all understanding that really made me overflow with joy.

So go ahead - intentionally, purposefully and ridiculously enjoy God today. You have His permission.

What physical and spiritual blessings make you most enjoy God?

I Believe in Pink.

by Natalie Lynn Borton

I stumbled on this print while perusing on Pinterest this morning. It's such a fun and playful little statement of belief from Audrey Hepburn, an iconic beauty for sure. It got me thinking, what do I believe in? Of course, there are the obvious beliefs, including Jesus and gravity. But let's just agree that those are understood, and this is not a complete statement of every belief I carry. After thinking for a few minutes, here's what I came up with:

I believe in women.
I believe that hot tea soothes the soul.
I believe in love that lasts forever.
I believe that bad things can be redeemed in time.
I believe that confidence is the best accessory.
I believe that each morning is a fresh start, and
I believe we are worth more than we can comprehend.

What do you believe in? Share your statement with us!

Loving Your Body Now: Overcoming Conditional Confidence

by Natalie Lynn Borton

This post is actually an article that I recently wrote for Darling Magazine, a soon-to-be-launched online magazine about the art of being a woman. For those of you who struggle with conditional body-confidence (like me), this article is for you:

I’ll love my body when I lose weight. When my skin clears up. When my thighs are slimmer. When my stomach is flat.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all had a conditional love for our bodies. Whether it was in middle school when we dreamed of having more curves, or 10 years later when we cursed every curve on our body. We want what we can’t have, and we refuse to love our bodies until they’re in whatever perfect state our twisted minds want them to be in.

It’s a messy situation. Is it wrong to want to look different? What does it mean to really love our bodies anyway? Is it possible to love a body that isn’t the way we want it to be? These are the questions I want us the dive into together.

First things first, what about wanting to look different? Truly, it’s a natural desire to want what we don’t have. The grass can always be greener, and we will always want something different. Whether we wish we were curvier or skinnier, taller or shorter, we each have a certain size and shape that we’ve been given and we can’t change that. However, I believe the desire for beauty is something everyone is born with, and there is no shame in desiring to be or making ourselves more attractive physically. The key to keeping these changes within healthy boundaries is to stay true to what makes us unique (i.e. wearing clothes that flatter our figure, rather than going on an extreme diet to lose weight). Remember: there’s nothing special about being a copy of someone else.

Secondly, what does loving our bodies even look like? The best way I’ve heard it said is, “Treat your body like you would treat a friend.” This could include some or all of the following:

• Feed your body nourishing food and be true to your real hunger.
• Buy and wear clothes that fit your body as it is today, not as it was five years ago or will be in a few months.
• Use positive language when talking about your body--regardless of if it’s in your head or out loud.

Lastly, how can we love our body if we actually hate it? It’s a paradox, indeed, but if we ever want to have healthy body image, we have to learn to accept the way our bodies look as they are RIGHT NOW. If we can’t love our body today, we won’t love our body when it’s “perfect,” because that idea of perfect will always change.

Look in the mirror today and delight in what you see, even if it's not the reflection that you wish you had. Look at your eyes, your smile, your skin, your hair, your legs. Thank your body for what it does for you and spend this week delighting in the joy of your beauty. You are a woman, and you are beautiful.

What are your strategies for overcoming conditional body-confidence?

P.S. You can find the original article on the Darling Magazine website here.

GIVEAWAY: One Mango Tree

Hey girls, it's that time again...giveaway time!! One Mango Tree has so generously donated this beautiful clutch for us to give to one of you lucky ladies. All you have to do is tell us why you want or need it, and we'll randomly select a winner from the group of responses.

Check back on Thursday, November 17th to see if you're the winner!

Why do you want or need this One Mango Tree clutch?

Believe in Yourself

When have you been held back because of insecurity or lack of confidence in your ability to do something?

PLEASE VOTE FOR US!

Well, ladies, the day has come. It's the LAST DAY TO VOTE for the Giving of Life grant we're in the running for, and we are absolutely in need of your help to push us to the top of the list. The stakes are high--up to $50,000 in grant money--so please take a moment to vote for us here.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

With Gratitude,
The Wonderfully Made Team

HerStory Film #2 Recap

by Allie Marie Smith

Tuesday I dodged down the 101 (Starbucks in hand and teal chair in-tow), and headed to the foothills of Los Angeles County to shoot our second HerStory film featuring Kelly Vegas. I first heard Kelly's story at the Breaking Through Conference in Costa Mesa earlier this year - it was heart-wrenching, raw, real, and full of hope.

It was a story I know forever impacted a thousand girls that day and one I knew Wonderfully Made had to help share with thousands more. After Kelly and I hugged and greeted one another, it took us five minutes to realize we had never actually met in person. In the words of Anne of Green Gables - "kindred spirits."

At seventeen, Kelly's battle with anorexia gave her a brush with death when she suffered a heart attack on prom night. Of course there's much more to the story, but today Kelly is healthy and free. She's a gorgeous soul armed with an awesome sense of humor, contagious belly-laughs and a passion for God.

We filmed her story under an oak tree on a private ranch, surrounded by beautiful greenery as the November sun back-lit Kelly's frame, making her look even more radiant.

Thank you for joining us on this journey as we try our best to shoot many more HerStory films in hopes of reaching girls everywhere with the message of their true beauty, purpose and worth. To watch our first HerStory film and learn more about how you, your organization or church can be a part of our film series, click here.

In five sentences or less, tell each other your story.

The Best Kind of Fruit

by Natalie Lynn Borton

"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another." (Galatians 5:22-26)

Which part of this resonates with you the most?

Goodbye Ghosts

by Natalie Lynn Borton

This morning I woke up 30 minutes before my alarm went off. It was a little odd, since it was still dark out and I really had no reason to stop sleeping. Nonetheless, I didn't have another ounce of shut-eye in me. Since Brian was taking full advantage of his final 30 minutes of snoozing, I grabbed my phone and scrolled through Twitter. I read news updates from Mashable and recipes from Cooking Light, just passing the time. Then I stumbled upon a link to a blog post from To Write Love on Her Arms:

It's a clever take on the way our pasts haunt us--very appropriate for it's Halloween posting date. And though at first I thought it would be a bit cheesy, I quickly realized that it carried so much truth. Read for yourself and let us know what you think.

What does it mean when something is haunted? What exactly is a ghost?

It's easy to talk about haunted places. A haunted house. A haunted building. We smile at those stories. We get excited. There is no stigma, no shame. But what about haunted people? Isn't it true that, as people, our lives can become haunted things as well? The past can haunt the present. The past can steal the future.

Isn't that what most of this is about? Something painful in our past? Something breaks or something dies and in living with the pain, we begin to live with ghosts. And by our choices, we either ask the ghosts to leave or we help them make a home. [read more...]

Why do you think it's so difficult to let go of the past?