Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Red Flags: When You Know You Need to Dump Him

by Jeff Bethke

In this post I hope to give you some practical advice from a guy’s perspective on how to spot red flags in your dating relationship (ones that would be detrimental to a marriage in the future).

Ladies, it’s important to remember that marriage is a lifelong commitment before man and before God. When you enter into that covenant, it is permanent. The relationship no longer is about the feelings, the attraction, or whether you’re still “in love,” but rather it becomes about the vows, the promises, and the commitment to a lifetime together. Unfortunately, couples don’t usually ask the hard questions until after they get married! This leads to huge marital strife, disconnect, and false expectations.

The first piece of advice is to always remember that a guy is on his best behavior while dating. Whatever weaknesses he shows and whatever flaws you see most likely will be amplified in marriage, not stifled. Now of course if Jesus is the center, and confession and repentance is a habit in the relationship, then growth will certainly happen. However, it’s important to consider any flags that might show up during your dating season that are usually only the tip of the iceberg for problems in the future…

1) He wants to read your texts, have all your internet passwords, and keep tabs on what you are doing at all times. If this is the case, he probably has a controlling heart that will only grow in marriage. I was that guy before I knew Jesus. Usually this type of guy is extremely insecure and to combat that he tries to keep every possibility or piece of information in view. It’s a bad sign, and can be extremely destructive.

2) You regularly catch him looking at other women. This is a huge sign of what’s going on in his heart, mind, and soul. I wouldn’t be surprised if a guy who has a habitual wandering eye also has an addiction to pornography. It’s important to note that confronting your guy about pornography usually should be brought up only when you’re in a serious relationship, but ladies you definitely need bring it up before you tie the knot, and even get engaged (to be honest, it’s usually not an issue of if your boyfriend struggles with it, but rather how much he does).

Nothing wrecks marriages more than porn. It’s idolatry at the deepest level and causes myriad destructive problems. My advice is to prayerfully discern if he is living a life of repentance and pursuing Jesus daily, or if he is living in secret sin that he wants no one to know about. If it’s the latter, then break up with him for good. You don’t want that.

3) He doesn’t like to hang out with your friends and family, and you’re constantly struggling to convince him to hangout with your group of acquaintances. If a guy wants to go out with you and then isolate you from your family, your friends, and your peers, it’s usually because he is shady and doesn’t want to be held accountable for his actions. He knows others who aren’t blinded by the relational love will see things he doesn’t want them to see.

4) He plays the church “game” so he can date you. The biggest red flag in my opinion is if he pretends to love Jesus so you’ll like him. Do you have to babysit him (paying for his stuff, dragging him to church, etc) or does he lead like a man truly should? Does he have a fervent, growing relationship with Jesus, and even though he might mess up, does he constantly lead a lifestyle of repentance and grace? Is he quick to apologize when you two argue? Does he pray with you? Does he talk to you about the scriptures? If so, that man is a keeper. No matter how much he messes up, if his face is set towards the King of Kings then you’ve got yourself a winner! But, if he is merely a responder to spiritual things, and not an initiator, break up with him, and call the daycare to come pick him up.

Do you have any stories of seeing a red flag and getting out before it got worse? What are some other red flags not on this list?

84 comments:

  1. Amen! <3 *high five!*

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    1. My name is maria johan from Malaysia. My boyfriend left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 10 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over. I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depress for the past one month and what i need is to get him back and live with him happily. so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr.Trust and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell which i use to get my boyfriend back and now my life is complete and both of us are very happy with the relationship. and i am throughly grateful to this man,his contact email is ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com Thank you very much and i am extremely greatful Tel: +2348156885231.And there is know evil attach to his spell.it will only make your relationship very stronger.

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    2. My name is Adams Bella, i live and work in Oxfordshire, UK. My life is back!!! After 2 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr.Trust of Ultimate spell cast which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and also spell to get a good paid job so on. He is amazing, i also come across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called Vera, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped his email.After reading all these, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than ever.Dr.Trust you are a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. you can contact him on (Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com) or call him +2348156885231. he is the best caster that can help you with your problems.

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  2. Nice post. Good luck at NLC tonight. I used to live in SWFL and attended the church. There are some great leaders there that you'll meet and it will be really cool for you all to connect.

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    1. My name is maria johan from Malaysia. My boyfriend left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 10 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over. I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depress for the past one month and what i need is to get him back and live with him happily. so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr.Trust and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell which i use to get my boyfriend back and now my life is complete and both of us are very happy with the relationship. and i am throughly grateful to this man,his contact email is ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com Thank you very much and i am extremely greatful Tel: +2348156885231.And there is know evil attach to his spell.it will only make your relationship very stronger.

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  3. #4 should in my opinion be #1 but all of these are great tips.

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    1. Thanks to Dr. Trust
      My name is Sarah matins. I am from Dubai i am here to spread the entire work of a real spell caster called Dr. Trust who just helped me to retrieve back my union with my husband and make our relationship very stronger and brought joy and happiness into our marriage. I have been scammed by a lot of fake spell casters but i was later introduced to Dr. Trust by a friend named tucker stacey to this great man who help her to restore her relationship back with his husband.He also help me and wipe away my tears. So viewers of this wonderful testimony who wants to contact him like:
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      More gratitude and thanks to you again the great DOCTOR.

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  4. I actually just want to comment on #1.
    So are you saying as a couple you should NOT have each others passwords to like email?
    Maybe I am just directing my question for during marriage due to my own past situations. But even in that sense. Are you saying it's wrong for a husband and wife to know each others passwords to, for example: email, facebook, myspace...whatever? I understand the texts and always wanting to keep tabs and the whole controlling thing.

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    1. When I was married my wife had all my passwords however I think a guy needs some male friends that have this information and that he can be accountable to and that will call him out on the table. I do believe in marriage there should be no secrets but if someone is controlling before marriage like that they are an insecure control freak and will mora than likely be jealous in any situation.

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    2. What Jeff is saying has more to do with the jealousy that is demonstrated when a boyfriend demands that information from his girlfriend--not a husband and wife willingly sharing that information.

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    3. second what Natalie said. I was more referring to the controlling obsessive nature a relationship can take on sometimes. there is nothing wrong with willing transparency in a marriage. in fact i'll probably do that!

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    4. I think its good for married couples to know each others passwords. Not so they can snoop, but it shows openess and honesty.

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    5. Thanks for the clarification:) I completely agree with being open and sharing passwords to email and everything in a marriage...in fact I think everyone should be. I was in an abusive (emotionally, mentally, and almost physically) marriage where my ex-husband was very controlling. It was not a fun situation and I wish I saw these signs in the beginning. The fact of my question is because I found out what was really going on by my ex-husbands email. Went to marriage counseling and was told I did the right thing.

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    6. xxxchurch has a program available in which anytime you visit questionable sites it sends links to your accountability partner, so they can hold you accountable. The program is called x3 watch

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    7. My name is Taylor Borg,All thanks goes to Dr.Trust for saving my marriage from toning apart.i feel so grateful and only have good words about a powerful spell caster named Dr.Trust who helped me bring back my wife. We had been apart for 4 months, at first I was thinking if I was doing the right thing by contacting a spell caster, but I so much love my wife and won't give her up for anything in this world. I decided to contact Dr.Trust through his mail address I found on several testifiers messages online,and I told him about my situation, he laughed and told me my wife will be back to me in the next 48 hours. I felt it wasn't going to happen at first until my wife called me and was so eager to have me back more than anything on earth.. Now we are together and she cant do without me,and both of us are happy. I feel so happy sharing this testimony because there was no negative act attached to his work. His work was smooth and fast. Thanks to Dr.Trust for bringing back happiness to my life. I swear with my life that Dr.Trust is a man to trust and take your problems to. You can contact him on his e-mail if you really truly want your love back. dr.(ULTIMATESPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM OT ULTIMATESPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM TEL: +2348156885231)

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  5. Now if only there were more men that fit this description...

    sigh. :)

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    1. Hi everyone act there.. my name is MULLAR SHARRON I AM FROM GERMANY i will never forget the help DR.TRUST render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how dr.trust help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of dr.trust i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours.he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Dr.trust a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using dr.trust to save my marriage. contact him via (ULTIMATESPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM OR ULTIMATESPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM) tel +2348156885231

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  7. @Jeff Good Stuff! Keep it real!

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  8. From someone that ignored the red flags, I completely agree.

    I would add:
    1. Co-dependency with his parents.
    2. You are his rebound.
    3. Premature or unfulfilled promises
    4. Avoids conflict at all cost (refuses to communicate when an issue arises)

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Yes! ESPECIALLY number one and two, haha

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    3. #1...when my husband committed adultery, and I, in shock, called to tell my mother-in-law what was happening, she said, "I'll say neither yea nor nay." I couldn't believe it when she said that, as if she didn't believe me. So I said I found a receipt for condoms...and she said, "Well, you don't want him to get a girl pregnant." And I said he didn't need them, he had a vasectomy and she said, "Well, you don't want him to get an STD." She also later said she didn't care that he committed adultery and didn't care that he did porn. This all from a woman that claims to be a Christian.

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  9. I had a "man" who was #4 and a few of what WRYLY posted as well. Keep up the wonderful blog Jeff!

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    1. I am from Canada, I have great joy in me as i am writing this testimony about the great man called Dr. Trust When my lover left me i never taught that i will be able to get him back after all he has put me through, But i am so happy that after the interference of Dr. Trust i was able to get my lover back after 24hours and i can proudly to say, that who ever need help in getting there lover back should contact Dr. Trust on these contact details below Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com for proper understanding of what i have just witness. And i promise that he will help you as he help me. or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com call +2348156885231

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  10. I do not entirely agree with #2 - "looking at the opposite sex" is a natural reaction to beauty...you see something beautiful, you look at it ~ staring,making rude comments,etc. while looking at "other women" is what I would consider to be a red flag....just sayin'

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    1. other than that - This article is very good!!!! (:(:(:

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    2. nothing wrong with recognizing beauty. i was more referring to an obsessive lure and lustful look that destroys a relationship. a man's standard of beauty should be his spouse, not the 10 girls he sees every day on the street.

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    3. The wandering eye. From the corner of my eye I sometimes see men looking at me while they are with their girlfriends. I tell myself that is the type of man I do not want to date! It's horrible, a man should learn to avert his eyes. It's honoring to his girlfriend/wife. The book -Every Man's Battle- talks about this.

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    4. My name is Handford Ann,i base in canada.i want to share my wonderful testimony on how i got back my ex-lover of my life back, who i sworn to be with until when he left me to another woman for no reason and i try to make things work for both of us yet things where getting worse and i love him so much and there is nothing i could do to get my ex back until i met a testimony share by Maria from USA on the internet talking about a powerful spell caster who brought his ex lover back within 48hours and i decide to give it a try and to my greatest surprise he also did it for me just as he did for Maria and i have a lot of people complaining of fake spell caster but this one i met was a real spell caster who help me to solve my problem i have no solution to,i introduce many of my best friends that have a similar problems,and their problem were solve with the great help of dr.Trust.they get back their ex within 48 hours.i am so happy that my ex is back to me again,and the most surprise,is that our love is very strong,every day is happiness and joy. and there is nothing like been with the man you love.i am so happy my love is back to me with the help of Dr.Trust.if you have similar problem i will advice you to contact him ,he is there to help you and put a smile on your face ask he did to me and others.contact email(ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com call +2348156885231) what will i have done if not the great help of dr.trust. Thanks Handford Ann from canada.

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  11. I see a common attitude among many men I know, that there seems to prevail a general disrespect for women. They say they respect them, but often, a contradictory attitude becomes present in conversation and various dating scenarios. Mind you, the men I am referring to are often not followers of Christ. That makes a major difference, because he transforms sinful hearts. I know, even as a Christian, he is still at work on me, and making me aware of my shortcomings, so I can align my will with his to repent and change them.

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  12. Wow! I just recently experienced #2. I caught him answering to adds on craigslist and found out that he has struggled with porn addiction. Although he didn't meet up with anyone, I had to end it because I felt emotionally cheated on. It was difficult to end because he has repented and has come to God for forgiveness. He knows God and we used to attend church, pray and read the bible together. I have a question Jeff...Do you think that it is possible for a man who's had a wandering eye like this to change if he has come to God? Can a women trust someone like this again?

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    1. wow. thanks for sharing. in regards to your last question I do think it is possible. I know tons of men who by the grace of God have allowed Jesus to change their heart and thus making them more like Him. A man will never be perfect and to some degree he will always have the possibility of messing up but a woman's identity should be anchored more in jesus than the man because jesus is secure and will never change. you have to be wise though too. if you see some of these signs, break up with him, but if he is actively pursuing jesus and is showing fruit of repentance then thats a good sign.

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    2. Anonymous,

      I was that man. I used to look at pornography for 10-15 hours/week at some points in my life. Then I met Christ and continued to struggle with it for quite some time. I finally got out of pornography and have been free of it for 4.5 years. I have to admit, it is extremely difficult in our world to flee sexual immorality. I'm married now, and I still struggle daily with the "wandering eye" point Jeff made. There is hope. Please do yourself, your children, and your friends a favor and don't settle for a guy that won't honor you in this way.

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    3. Thank you for your responses! It has given me hope to trust one day again.... He says that me catching him do these things have embarrassed him but have also made him feel free. He has carried this addiction secretly and now that I know, he is trying to get help. Thank you for posting this blog because there are other women who may be in a relationship like mine. I am praying that he is able to change because no one, man or woman, needs to depend on anything to fill their emptiness. God should be enough!...and no women deserves to feel disrespected or made to feel that they are not enough! Thanks again:)

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    4. I listened to a really good teaching on sexuality today and I'd love to forward it to you. One of our pastors here in Columbus Ohio taught on this a couple weeks ago. It's really good. He has a lot of other good stuff.

      http://conradhilario.podomatic.com/entry/2012-03-06T22_10_55-08_00

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    5. Thank you!:)

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    6. After 9 years in marriage with my hubby with 3 kids, my husband started going out with other ladies and showed me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies, I was totally devastated and confused until a old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet Dr. Trust who help people with the relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contact him, he helped me cast a spell and within 24hours my husband came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with ladies and he his with me for good and for real. Contact this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage problem at ultimatespellcast@gmail.com. Goodluck or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com

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  13. the love of my life or so I thought had a great relationship he was sweet, thoughtful, and attentive. but we then had to have a long distance relationship and well...lets say a lot of bad things started happening between us lies and cheating and just a lot of emotional abuse. Ive never been ao heartbroken so we gave each other up now after 3 yrs hes back and of course I still love thia guy. but now it juat seems all he cares about is sex and I know forsure he watches porn a lot. it sucks Ive tries talking to him about God but he just wont liaten...its hard to let him go...but if this is the person he chooses to be I cant do anything about it. hes talked about marriage but I cant marry a guy like that. i just pray for him.

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    1. My name is tucker stacey.This is a very joyful day of my life because of the help Dr.Trust has rendered to me by helping me get my ex husband back with his magic and love spell. i was married for 6 years and it was so terrible because my husband was really cheating on me and was seeking for a divorce but when i came across Dr.Trust email on the internet on how he help so many people to get thier ex back and help fixing relationship.and make people to be happy in their relationship. i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Husband has change totally for good. He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really enjoying my marriage, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because Dr.Trust is truly a real spell caster. DO YOU NEED HELP THEN CONTACT DOCTOR TRUST NOW VIA EMAIL: Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com or call +2348156885231 or ultimatespellcast@gmail.com. He is the only answer to your problem and make you feel happy in your relationship.

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  14. I'm dating a guy now who is super secretive... Has a lot of girl friends (which I'm ok with to a point.) Until I found some messages to an ex and they plan on meeting up and doing sexual things to each other. Everything was very detailed and more then anyone or I would want to know and find out... Sooooo thats a HUGE RED FLAG and things have to end. I don't (nor does anyone) deserve that kind of treatment in a relationship. Especially after a year of being together. Breaks my heart, cried all day, and now I have to do something about it... Thank God for His love or I would have a hard time doing this.... I'm sick to my stomach and can't stop thinking about it.... Just found it this morning before work =/ Please pray for me...

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    1. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this... I've been there. I am praying for you, though. You're very wise to stop it.

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    2. I'm sorry :(( I've been through similar :(

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    3. Hi My name is "BEKAR JOE" just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage.because i really love SONNIA so much that i can not even do without. I was married for 15years with lilian and 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time... it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce... I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn't want to loose her but everything just didn't work out... she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce... I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out... I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice... He did special prayers and used roots and herbs... Within 7 days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy with us. I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news... Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need's it... You can email him via (Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com or ultimatespellcast@gmail.com) Don't give up just yet, the different between "Ordinary" & "Extra-Ordinary" is the "Extra" so make extra effort to save your marriage/relationship if it's truly worth it.call him +2348156885231

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  15. I totally agree with #3! In high school, I had a boyfriend who was in the military so we were not able to spend much time together because he was overseas. We talked about getting married when I was in college. However, when he was home he never tried to meet my parent no matter how much I asked and he would always come over to hang out late at night. Looking back on the situation, he really was just trying to hide his inadequacies and motives from the people who loved me the most. Later on he did a lot more destructive things to the relationship, and I told him I was done. After that phone call he got another girl pregnant several days later. I truly believe God saved me from a marriage and life that would have been extremely destructive to myself, my friends and my family. Do not ignore the red flags, ladies!!

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  16. My ex boyfriend hated my family and hated my friends. I would have to try to talk him into going to social dinners and just to go out at all. Our last month of the relationship was me trying to get a hold of him and him ignoring me. In the end he broke up with me. I couldn't be happier with the person I am currently dating. We have our bickering and little arguments, but none based on the above.

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  17. Hi Jeff,

    I want to thank you for posting this. I hope that if there are any girls or guys in such a type of relationship, they can take your advice regarding these "red flags." I hope they open their hearts and take these words and not allow such a relationship to run their lives.

    I was recently in a relationship with a guy with everyone of these characteristics. I wish someone could have told me these things sooner so that I could have made the decision to leave him sooner. Three years of dating him was really something so difficult and it really took a toll on my spiritual life.

    I was working at a casino pool and I met this guy at work. He was very attractive and many girls liked him. We started talking and I fell for him easily. I continued to pursue him and we were constantly talking. I knew I wanted to date him. I asked God to please let me have him, but God knew better than I did. A couple of days before he asked me out, I was at church and I was attending a youth discipleship class, and I remember clearly we were reading a passage from 2 Corinthians 6. Then God hit me with his words, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers." I knew God was talking to me and he was telling me that he was not the right person for me. I decided to be stubborn to go against God's will and eventually I had to deal with the consequences for my disobedience.

    First couple of months together things were going pretty good except I decided to have premarital relations with him. After he had me wrapped around his finger, he started doing things in order to control me. I was a senior in high school and he made me delete myspace and facebook, he wanted my passwords, and occasionally would try to check my texts. Next, he started getting mad at me every time I talked to any other guy. He would become so frustrated and overly jealous. He started telling me that he was doing this because he cared. I was completely isolated by the end of my high school. I didn't get to go to prom and during graduation he was watching me from the audience and I was not allowed to say one word to anyone. My freshman year in college, he started controlling what I wore, hair, and makeup. I was not allowed to wear anything that was tight fitting, I wasn't allowed to wear make up, and I was to wear my hair in pony tails every day so that other guys would not find me attractive. To control me, he would make me send him pictures where ever I was to show him that I was obeying him.

    After controlling me in those ways, he decided to take it a step further and began to control me emotionally and mentally. He would call me names. Called me every curse word possible, fat, and ugly. He made me feel so low about myself. Yet, he continued to tell me that he loved me. He would stare at other girls right in front of me and do it purposely. I remember he would play softball with his co-workers and I would sometimes get to go to his games. One day, his mood had automatically changed, and while standing next to him, he started whistling at another girl. As bad as this made me feel, I still wanted to stay with him. I thought he would change and go back to being the nice guy he was when we were first talking.

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    1. And as if it wasn't bad enough he started hitting me. The first time he hit me, he said he was awfully sorry and that he would never do it again. Any time that I decided to get mad and start sticking up for myself, he decided that he needed to hit me to control me.

      I started hating myself. I stopped praying and reading. I stopped attending church for about a year during this relationship. I felt God didn't want anything to do with me since I had disobeyed him in the first place. I thought that since I decided to go my own way, I had to take myself out of it without any help. I started self-mutilating and I wanted to kill myself. I was in such a horrible state that I felt nobody could relate to me.

      He left me bruised inside and out. I had no hope. I remember one time, my sister was calling me from a different number and he got so angry that I was getting random calls. We were eating at the time and he spit in my food, dragged me across the living room floor, and spilled my tea all over me. Even though no one was there at the time it was so humiliating. I ran to the bathroom to hide and he followed me. It was such a scary moment.

      I still did not get out of this relationship. I stuck with it and thought things would get better. Another time, we got into an argument in his bedroom and he had a pocket knife on his bed stand, and he started choking me, picked up the knife and threatened he would use it.

      During this time, he also decided to sleep with another girl. I hated myself and her, not him. I became to know an anger that consumed my life.

      This practical advice, can help many. As "practical" as it may seem, not everyone is strong enough to simply dump the person. You may think these type of people who stay in these abusive relationships are stupid for staying in them, but sometimes that is all they know and can get stuck in them. They start to believe it is "normal."

      By the grace of God, he pulled me out of that relationship. He taught me my value and his love for me. Even though I had known His love for me before, I thought that this guys love would be better and what I needed. I can assure you there is nothing greater than His love. Through my healing process, I learned as to why I was so in "need" of this guys love. My dad was abusive growing up and he was an alcoholic. He sometimes hit my mom. I wasn't always accepted by my dad, so I went looking for it somewhere else. Even though my dad made a lot of mistakes while I was growing up, I love him dearly. He wasn't strong in the ways of the Lord, and he is still on his walk with Christ.

      I ask that you pray for these people who are weak to leave these types of relationships. Many people are abused daily and do not seek help nor do they have any hope.

      Delete
    2. Amen! No one, and I mean NO ONE deserves that kind of treatment and as you now know....you are NEVER alone. God will never walk away from you. He may be silent, sometimes, but only to get our attention :) I am so glad that you are no longer in that relationship. God has someone perfect for you and has wonderful plans for your life. You have much to say to other women (and men) who are or have been where you have. God bless you.

      Delete
  18. Jefferson, you are point on when you suggest that a man with a wandering eye more than likely has a porn addiction. Men are visually stimulated. And no! they do not have to "stare or make rude comments" for it to be a problem or to be fulfilling a sexual/lustful desire from it. It is true in my own situation. My husband and I have been separated for over a year, in part, due to his "wandering eye" that indeed, was indicative of a much deeper problem...porn addiction. Along with this type of behavior, typically, is lying and other forms of deception. Even after working with three different counselors, the bottom-line issue is trust. Due to all of the lies, unfulfilled promises and etc., it is nearly impossible for me to trust this man again. These were ALL things that I noticed before saying yes to marriage but thinking marriage and church would change it. PLEASE LADIES, DON'T KID YOURSELVES! TAKE JEFFERSON'S RED FLAGS TO HEART. THIS IS INFORMATION ABOUT MEN COMING FROM A MAN!!

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    1. I am going through a divorce after 21 years of marriage. My husband also had a wandering eye and was addicted to porn. We have five children and he committed adultery with a woman half his age. I also ignored the red flags. It's a lot easier to break with someone that is exhibiting these problems early into the relationship, than to get divorced years later with children.

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  19. Thanks for posting, Jeff! You make great points that I hope other women will take to heart!! it's not worth it to ignore the red flags! I've been thinking a lot about this only opposite--what men should watch out for when dating a girl. It is sad to say, but a lot of women are pretenders too, i've seen it MANY women, including some of my close friends. Hiding controlling, and manipulative ways that many men don't realize until well into the marriage. It is incredibly damaging and heartbreaking to see.
    Maybe you or one of your friends could write a similar post? red flags that guys need to watch out for? i've wondered if it could be helpful from a woman's perspective but I figured it would be taken more seriously if written from a fellow man...

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  20. The two most important decisions you will ever make is accepting Jesus and choosing your spouse. Keep God at the center of your relationship and He will keep your relationship centered. I hope young men and women print off Jeff's words and refer to it often. After 24 years of marriage I can attest that this is ALL true. One of the greatest gifts you can give your marriage is a marriage seminar/weekend and REALLY find out what makes your spouse tick and how you can tick better together. God made men and women SO very different, spend time with God and put time into your relationship. I know God has a sense of humor... he must really enjoy watching us men and women try and love and live with one another :)

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  21. This is dead on! I agree with everything on this list. Last year I got involved with a guy who was dealing with every single thing talked about above. I was so blinded by my love for him that I didn't even notice. Eventually after standing back and taking a week to really get away, I saw what everyone else was seeing and that was a controling man who just wanted to have a piece of arm-candy. We broke up and that was definitely the best decision made last year. Thank you for sharing this! More people need to be aware of the red flags. God bless!

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  22. I really like what Mark Driscoll of Mars church said that God gave man a job before he gave him a wife. Men, get a bible and a job and let God bring the girl

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  23. I'm all about discussing porn usage with your man...but what if, when confronted, he lies to you to cover it up? honestly, i don't think it's realistic to think that a man would openly admit to looking at porn when asked about it. how can you ever really know?

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    1. Then that's probably not the guy you want to be with. Let's be honest, who wants to brag about their man who, when confronted with his issue of using women, hides it? I've found that by growing in real relationships and discernment that I can usually tell when the men in my life have been in porn. (I'm speaking as a guy) It's not surprising when they finally confess it, the signs are all there if you know what to look for.

      Delete
    2. Oh and by the way, it is not unrealistic to have a guy who is honest about this area of his life. It's much more difficult to discuss it with your girlfriend/wife (believe me, I know), but it is completely realistic; it just depends on your expectations. Please don't settle for a guy who won't be open with you about this stuff.

      Delete
  24. Thank you for posting this. There are many girls out there who need to understand this. The previous relationship that i was in had many of these red flags, although i didn't notice them until towards the end of it. All alongof course, the holy Spirit warned me against these things, but in my stubbornness i ignored Him, which caused me a lot of emotional bondage. There are some lessons that God knows we've got to learn the hard way......but He is good to deliver us just in time! Girls: Don't ignore the voice of God....He truly knows what you NEED, even if it's not what you want at the time.

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  25. While you are dating you keep your eyes wide open but after you get married you shut them. A woman should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him to find her.

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  26. "it’s usually because he is shady and doesn’t want to be held accountable for his actions. He knows others who aren’t blinded by the relational love will see things he doesn’t want them to see." beyond true. this was a great post!

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    Replies
    1. My name is Adams Bella, i live and work in Oxfordshire, UK. My life is back!!! After 2 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr.Trust of Ultimate spell cast which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and also spell to get a good paid job so on. He is amazing, i also come across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called Vera, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped his email.After reading all these, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than ever.Dr.Trust you are a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. you can contact him on (Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com) or call him +2348156885231. he is the best caster that can help you with your problems.

      Delete
  27. Amazing points!!! (love the line about the daycare lol) Also, I think one other important factor is the friends that he has. It is sooooo important to choose a guy who has close friends that are also followers of Jesus.

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  28. This ws a gud post. #1.its not wrong to have each others passwords but the question is,is it even ecessary to have them?before u love someone,make sure u can trust that person and if u trust him,there is no need to be keeping track of what he is doing.plus evryone deserves a little bit of their own space.being in a relationship wid u,he sudnt feel like he just got into a prison but he sud feel like he is even more free with u n thus happier.#2.i dont really agree coz some ppl just have wandering eyes and its not their fault.and its not right to judge him according to how he moves his eye balls.coz honestly I have a super wandering eye.evrybody looks longer or twice or turns head when they see something pretty,be it another person or just a pretty dress or a nice car or whatever.but I dont watch porno and yes,im single but the past relationships that I had were long lasting and without cheating.but yes,i do look at pretty looking guys and even tell my bf "hey look,that guy is cute"..dat doesnt mean I wanna cheat on my bf with him.that doesnt mean anything..all it means is that "he is cute".#3.personally id never introduce my bf to my family unless he proposes me,dats just out of respect for my family coz if incase we broke up,i dont want to introduce the next bf too wid my family..as for frens,yeah he should try to hang out wid my frens but if he doesnt feel comfortable,i can totally understand coz not all people are outgoing.#4.i have had someone playing the church game in the past but honestly as a christian,u can easily n totally tell if someone is really a christian or just faking it in front of u.and even if he goes to church with u,u cant marry him.lol..he has to have a spiritual and personal relationship with jesus just like u do and then only u can actually call him a christian.and no,even if that guy baptized,sometimes its just to date u,dat happened to my sister. Lastly,in my opinion,the biggest red flag is when he doesnt let u be urself coz a man who truly loves u thinks even ur flaws are cute.there is nothing called "compromising"in a relationship.there shud be only "love" and true love will never have conditions.when u love a person,there is no this and that,u simply love evrything about him.dating a christian guy doesnt mean ur dating the rightguy and dating a non christian dosnt mean ur dating the wrong one.it just depends on the person how he is inside n ofcourse the name or title on the outside doesnt really tell how he is inside.but as far as I know,a guy who lovs jesus

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  29. ..continue..with all his mind,body,soul n heart knows what is true love and will love you too like u deserve to be love.another red flag is having no respect.if he doesnt respect other human,most likely,he wont respect u either in the future.and u can see by his actions if he respects others or not.others means evrybody.does he respect them in his language,actions?or is he inconsiderate and selfish n rude?the right guy is the one who pushes u towards ur success and not the one who discourages u,pulls u down the ladder and tells u to stop dreaming,be realiztic and start making him happy instead of making urself happy.true love is all bout giving,not bout taking.does he give n give or does he just expects and takes?..anyways folks,hope u find the right one n if u have the wrong one,hopefully u realize before its too late.best way to find the rght one is pray hard and have patience n trust in the lord and h will show u the one he chose for u.marriages r indeed made in heaven.

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  30. Thankfully, my boyfriend doesn't fall into any of these categories. He loves Jesus (I'm sure) and probably goes to church. I need to check in on, that by the way! Great reminder, and AMEN! :)

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  31. Number 3 is so true... I lived that one out and it caused a miserable relationship that was more like a countdown to the inevitable break-up. You should always watch for a guy who refuses to do anything you suggest or is only interested in people, activities, and date nights that he likes. It gets really old, really fast, and it's a sign that he's more concerned with himself than building a healthy relationship. If he doesn't like your family, your friends, or your hobbies, you have to ask yourself why you're still together.

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  32. Thank you so much for writing this. It blessed me greatly during a tough time with my now ex. You nailed it when you said you wouldnt be surprised if a guy with a wandering eye problem had an addiction to porn. That was one of the problems in our relationship. Thank you again.

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  33. I'm dating a guy who is what you defined as a keeper. Seems to be passionate about having faith in God, etc. However, at the same time, I have caught him looking at other women who were showing skin (I have heard that all men do this). He tells me he is interested in me and wants to get to know me. He calls every other day or couple days or so. Here is the thing. There have been about 3 times he said he would call and didn't. He doesn't seem to be trying to set up dates and seems content with short conversations on the phone. In the beginning he was asking me all sorts of questions, now it seems like he doesn't ask any deeper questions anymore. I feel like he doesn't want to get to know me any deeper. I have tried being affectionate with him on the phone, and feel as if my affection was rebuffed. For example. he indicated he was trying not to complain about a situation and was going to try to be happy. I sensed the frustration in his voice, and said something sympathetically (and to test the waters) like "aww, I wish I could give you a hug." I think I caught him off guard. He was like "you wish you could give me a hug..? I already got one." Wow, ouch. Another time in the conversation I complimented him on a character trait he has, and he seemed to noticibly switch the topic of conversation. He says he is interested in me, and getting to know me but it really seems otherwise, or that maybe he is seeing someone else and is just stringing me along. He always talks about he is so busy with work (and from the type of work he has it does eat up a lot of his schedule). However he has also said "busy people always have time for one other thing." There have been times when he has not called me but I see he is also online on a dating site we met on. He went for days without calling me one time, and due to lack of trying to not set up another date I called him on it, and let him know I was moving on. I sent this to him via text because we didn't talk on the phone as I believe we planned. He called immediately, apologized profusely and said he was going through stuff with his family, he has been so busy, he's single so he's not use to calling someone. I told him I am dating other people in addition to him, and that if at any point he does not feel like continuing to date I want him to let me know so I can move on. He is not having that talk with me. Yet it he doesn't seem to be making any authentic effort besides short "how was your day" phone calls. I think I should cut it off. What are your thoughts?

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  34. I want to testify of what a spell caster did for me and my hubby.we have been married since 2007 without a sign of pregnancy or conceiving.I went off birth control then and did not have a period.my gyro gave me progesterone to jump-start a period and it did.,but i did not have another one.we did another round of progesterone followed by 100mg clomid for 5 months,we followed all doctors instructions but all to no avail.I have been buying ovulation kits pregnancy test AND i finally got 3 test when i was ovulating! So ever since that we been trying for years now! Well i was very confused because i keep taking ept test AND they all keep turning out to b negative! I really want a baby girl while my hubby want a baby boy LOLL! I think maybe we are just trying to hard, What i can tell you is that its been so many years now and i still yet do not have my period??nobody to help because every body around us was already at the verge of losing their faith on us.no were to run to until one faithful day i was reading a magazine and i stumble on a page were i found topic or a head line {A SPELL CASTER} who can heal someone from HIV AND AIDS,bring back your EX,enlarge your BREAST,help you win a VISA LOTTERY,losing your WEIGHT and even get six PACKS AND flatten your BELLY,I gave him a try and before i could no it Dr agumagu rescue me from my problem by casting a spell for me and told me to go and make love with my hubby,then nine months after the spell and making love with my husband i delivered a twins A BOY AND A GIRL.This spell caster name is Dr agumagu so many people have witness his wonderful work..He is nice, contact him on agumaguspelltemple@gmail.com if you are in any predicament•Thanks so very much!!

    ReplyDelete
  35. My name is maria johan from Malaysia. My boyfriend left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 10 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over. I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depress for the past one month and what i need is to get him back and live with him happily. so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr.Trust and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell which i use to get my boyfriend back and now my life is complete and both of us are very happy with the relationship. and i am throughly grateful to this man,his contact email is ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com Thank you very much and i am extremely greatful Tel: +2348156885231.And there is know evil attach to his spell.it will only make your relationship very stronger.

    ReplyDelete
  36. My name is tucker stacey.This is a very joyful day of my life because of the help Dr.Trust has rendered to me by helping me get my ex husband back with his magic and love spell. i was married for 6 years and it was so terrible because my husband was really cheating on me and was seeking for a divorce but when i came across Dr.Trust email on the internet on how he help so many people to get thier ex back and help fixing relationship.and make people to be happy in their relationship. i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Husband has change totally for good. He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really enjoying my marriage, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because Dr.Trust is truly a real spell caster. DO YOU NEED HELP THEN CONTACT DOCTOR TRUST NOW VIA EMAIL: Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com or call +2348156885231 or ultimatespellcast@gmail.com. He is the only answer to your problem and make you feel happy in your relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I am Alicia Carter hear to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got
    married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were
    going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband
    started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused
    by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come
    home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what
    have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that
    he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in
    his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was
    sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much
    he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my
    sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in
    all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something
    will come out of it. i contacted okparaspellhome for the return of my
    husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another
    woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also
    want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell
    on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the
    spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i
    should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he
    still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me.
    it was the spell that he okparaspellhome casted on him that make him
    comeback to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank
    you okparaspellhome for what you have done for me i would have been nothing
    today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are
    passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their
    husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact
    okparaspellhome@gmail.com. and you will see that your problem will be
    solved without any delay. hear is my face book email aliciacarter1986@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  38. SPELL CASTER THAT HELP ME BRING BACK MY HUSBAND
    Hello every one i want to share my testimony how i got my husband back, my husband left my and my 2 kids and go for an other woman, when i saw both of them my heart was broken down, i told my best friend who was also having the same problem long time ago, she help me by given me Dr Ekpiku contact and i email Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com, he told me what to do after the casting of the love spell my husband that left home for 4 month run home and was asking for my forgiveness. thank you Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com for building my marriage contact him he can also be of help to you.

    ReplyDelete


  39. My name is Ruth Moore,Am from UK,i never believe there will ever be a solution to my relationship problem with my lover. my lover called smith Moore threw me out of his house and brought in another lady who he now feels the only best for him. until one day i receive a phone call from a friend in the city that my man is going out on a date with another woman in town, i told her i am also surprise too, because since smith Moore has left me he hardly think nor call me. so after some few days my friend called Martha called me and told me that she has found a man that is very powerful, and he is a great herbalist from Africa, truly we all knows that Africans are blessed with so much herbal voodoo powers which they use to help much people, so he told me that the man name is prophet oyinbo , that she will forward his email address for me so that i can contact him for help, so truly she sent me prophet oyinbo email address and i contacted him that faithful day. he mailed me after a great while that my man will be back to me if only i believe on his work,so after 25hrs i receive a phone call from smith Moore, and he started begging that i should please forgive him against all he had done to me.. he begged me of breaking my heart and letting the other lady a new heart. he promise me never to let go. now i and Smith Moore are now planning to get married as soon as possible. we are brought back with the great powerful love spell and blinded with prophet oyinbo spell, we are happy and glad. so i thank you sir for the great help you offer to me, because i think today this might be the only ways and means i can ever thank you of your work.. i am glad. you can contact him for a love spell today at: prophetoyinbojesus@yahoo.com thank you sir. Email him on: prophetoyinbojesus@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  40. my name is Carolina i want to thank my friend for showing way to AGAGULOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM where all my sorrow was turn to joy, i was in a relationship for 4 years and suddenly a mistake came into it from my side but i tried to beg my man but he refuse to listen to my apologies, until my friend told me about a spell caster called Dr Henry Olu that help her when she was also in a problem but i did not believed in her cause i don't also beloved in spell caster until i chose to give him a trial. this man told me what i need to do so that my man will come and after doing them my man came back to me to apologize the way this spell caster told me, so people out there i am using this opportunity to inform you all that this is the best caster that you can ever contact and trust in him cause with him all your problems, please contact him through his email address:AGAGULOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM or AGAGULOVESPELL@AOL.COM

    ReplyDelete
  41. My name JOY and I am a professional traditional healer spells that specializes in love, money, power, success, happiness and witch craft, Pregnancy, Inheritance Properties, win back his divorced husband back.i Can you help with any problem of your wish, you may have. I have more than 30 years experience in the field of magic / spiritual healing. Over the years I have worked for thousands of clients in more than 80 countries worldwide. My services are highly in demand, which is proof of the success I achieved on a daily basis. We can also help those who were victims of fraud by fake loan lender, or in any way scammed get your money back from this fraudulent loan lender that the occupation of our fake magic of the loan and the lender back the money to scam from you and also send money back in your country. i’ve helped so many people around the world and are satisfied with their charm our casting.the All you have to do is send us a false loan lenders e-mail address and name management company and we will help you, we will cast spells ruturn back your money on fake loan lender and after 3 days will be contacted and ask how to send back money scam from you, so it is a good time to get my money back from this scam people. Do you have the problems issues that you need to solved? i have a variety of love spells that change your life forever. Have you lost a loved one? Are you in love with someone who does not seem to you? Is your loved one in love with someone else? Call me and I will muster all his strength to make your dreams come true. You struggle to make ends meet? You are experiencing a financial crisis and can not pay all your bills? I know what it is. Let me help you by casting one of my much sought after money spells. I can help you increase your income country, the job you are after, to help you achieve success in many areas, to improve their happiness, and much more … You live in constant fear? Need protection spell? Call me and I will cast a very effective protection spell that will protect you and your loved ones from evil. Do not wait until it’s too late. Please contact us. Traditional temple gods. I specialize in different areas of spell casting. Can you help with any problem you might face. Contact me now for immediate results {iyaijebulovehome@gmail.com] OK Hello Thanks for your response. You are welcome to my shrine where all kinds of problems are solve with the power of my great grand father, you have make the right choice for contacting me, all you need to do right now for you to have him back is for you to fill this information and return it back to me immediately ok. Your full name Your ex full name Your country Your phone number Your age Your ex age The photo of both of you. Once I get this information from you I will be able to consult my gods for the items that is needed to cast the spell. i want to assure you that the spell i cast for people is 100% guarantee sure and safe no side infect or harm that will affect both of you in future i have been doing this for more than 40 years no body has come to my temple and left with the same problem or complain of his ex lover OK.

    ReplyDelete
  42. i want to express how grateful i am, because i finally got what i have been looking for. My husband left me and our kids i have tried all my possible best to reach him but is like every time i tried, i am making things worst for myself. But thank the God that lead me to DR OYE of ABUYE SPELL TEMPLE, he helped me to restore the love my husband had for me back within 3days of me contacting him. he came back just as DR OYE told me, he will make him come back. if you are in situation like this kindly contact DR OYE on his email abuyespelltemple@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  43. My husband broke-up with me one months ago after eleven years of marriage, one day when i was reading through the web for help, i saw a post on how this spell caster Prophet Mike on this email purityspell@gmail.com, on how he have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply and explain my problems to him to his email and he assured me of a positive result that my husband will be back and in four days time, his words came to pass as my husband was truly back to me and i could not imagine how he also made my husband begged for forgiveness. How he did all these things i do not know but all i know is that contacting him was truly a blessing to me and it can be to anyone else out there who needs help in solving relationship issues. His email again is purityspell@gmail.com,

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hello every one,

    I am Walt Wilson and it gives me joy and happiness writing this article of my testimony on how i became financially stable and summary of my previous finance stage before now. I believe there is nobody that doesn't like money, when one is having finances, there is inner joy in you and i am among those having joy and peace now and i will through this article saves you that is reading now in financial mess on how to be financially stable with priest JAYEMA Before now, i make little earn with my own small trading business but it's doesn't take me anywhere, i lived in struggle and what pained me most was my family, for i just couldn't cater for my wife and children's needs but i had no choice but to manage the business and another thing that caused me grief was i didn't always have time for my family and i wanted a big business for myself but i couldn't even afford a hundred dollar to make it work. But when i thought all hope and aspiration for my business plan was void then a friend of mine now retired in transport company where he worked and referred me to priest JAYEMA the spell caster that help better his financial stage and he stressed on that he is living well and fine today because of the financial body and i contacted priest JAYEMA for help and he cast a money spell for me and he send me a parcel and ask me to do some prayers and that in 2days time i will see money inside the parcel and anything i use the money for will be a blessing to me and my family, i did all he ask of me and to my greatest amazement, the third morning i opened the parcel and to my greatest surprise it was $50,000.00usd, today i am living well and happy and i now have time for my family because i am my own boss now. And i will forever remain grateful to priest JAYEMA because his the reason i am living with joy and happiness today.For as many in financial mess, bad credits, debt, in need or whatsoever challenges that you're in today don't fail to contact priest JAYEMA via email: jayemamagictemple@gmail.com or you can still visit his web site http://jayemamagictemple.webs.com/ and i do assure you that your heart desires will be manifested.

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  45. Being attracted to the same sex in countries like USA,UK Canada is really easily as i have heard.There are still people there who don't like people like us but it not as bad as that of Russia cos here we are beaten jailed and sometimes even killed.You can't hold the hand of the one you care about in the public so as to avoid been harassed we can even set a place to me cos if we are caught we face jail time.Here in Russia we gay are prisoner in our own country.I am currently in a relation with my fiance and we had to leave Russia to be together.Before now his parent were against our relationship cos they had no idea he was gay we sneaked around knowing the risks if we were to be caught.When he finally got heart to tell him family the rejected him and asked he stops seeing me or they were going to turn him in and that scared him a lot his father is a very powerful man in Russia and he made it possible for him not to be able to live the country i mean as long as you have money in Russia anything goes.I was lucky they never got to meet me cos if they did i would have not been here right now writing this article that you are all reading.Probably i would have been in jail.Months passed and there was no way we could see each other cos they had him watched to make sure he is never get to meet me and also to know the person the was he was practicing this profane act with as they called it.They stripped him of all his right to the family assets and made him an outcast i could see he was suffering form the text he was sending me they made his life miserable and made him end our relationship.I knew he was confused and did know what to do to get his life back to make his family see him the way they use to.And i knew that his family were never going to accept his life style cos they are so anti gay.If they were to be a fund riser to fight gay practice in Russia his family will be the first to ask that they host it.I love him so much but he was scared of him family and they also had a grip on him.I know most person don't believe in what about to say but still if it wasn't for Mutton Osun a spell caster that i found on the internet i would not have been writing this.It happened maybe by a slim chance or fate that i was a blog were it happened that i read three distinct comment about how he help them with similar problem.I contacted him with an email address that was in the comment.I asked Mutton Osun to cast a spell to make my then boyfriend to make up his mind to run away from Russia with me to be together and also his family as in his father to make it possible for him to leave Russia with me and set a very comfortable life for us were we were going.And i know doing spells with someone you can't even see is outrageous but i promise you he makes you feel more at else when he calls and he really goes through with his promise cos he did with mine he was really helpful to him and kind.And like other people said he doesn't even charge you for what he is doing for you.I had to provide some list of materials that he asked that i get for my spell casting.I preferred that i sent the money down to him cos they were not easy to find and even when i found them it was so expensive but he could get them cheaply.He instructed me on how to make the spell work with great effect.It took 7 seven day and night to see it result.On the seventh night my boyfriend call me to tell me we could finally be together cos his father did agreed to do all i asked mutton osun to make him do i just knew at once it was Mutton Osun spell cos it what i asked for and now me and fiance are the happiest right now we can hold hand now without fear of being harassed or sent to jail for we are in love and we are very comfortable here.His father made sure everything was set before we even got here just like i asked it should be.Am going to also leave Mutton Osun email here just like others have done for contact purpose godsofosunx@rocketmail.com

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