Girl, Redeemed: Dotsie Bausch's Story

by Natalie Lynn Borton

As soon as I learned about Olympic cyclist Dotsie Bausch's story, I knew I wanted to write about it during this first week of the Olympics. Then yesterday, while perusing on Hello Giggles, I came across this article, saying pretty much exactly everything I would have. Since there is no need to reinvent the wheel here, I'll let you read the words of writer Beejoli Shah on the topic...

[photo credit]

DOTSIE BAUSCH: FROM ROCK-BOTTOM TO OLYMPIC ROCKSTAR
by Beejoli Shah

Ask any Olympian about the difficulties of mastering their sport, and they can all tell you common stories about backbreaking amounts of practice, moments where they wanted to throw in the towel, even whole days that are a blur of sweat, training and exhaustion. Yet for track cyclist Dotsie Bausch, who is competing as a member of Team USA in the 2012 Olympics, it was the path that led her to even step foot on a bicycle that was far more grueling.

Dotsie, 29, is model pretty. Not in the “You’re so pretty, you could be a model!” way, but in the actual “Did you know she was a runway model in New York City for years?” type of way. She started modeling during her senior year of college at Villanova, and though she had grown up running cross country and rowing crew, the pull to New York to continue her modeling career was magnetic.

Despite a successful runway and print career, Dotsie had been battling both anorexia and bulimia since her time at Villanova—so much so that her parents and the dean tried to help her, but to no avail. It was in New York City where Dotsie took up drugs as well, to deal with the pressures of modeling, and saw her 5-foot 9 frame shrink from 139 pounds to 90. It was only after a failed suicide attempt that Dotsie realized she had hit rock bottom and needed to find a way out.

Dotsie moved to California, took up a new career, and went under care of a therapist who recommended she try cycling as an alternative to exercise, as a different way to channel her energies. In cycling, she found an amazing outlet for her competitive spirit that was significantly less destructive. She took up long distance cycling in 1998 and was a member of a pro team by 2002. She was racing for T-Mobile by 2003, where she placed 25th overall and 4th amongst the American riders. Dotsie was literally riding to freedom.

In 2007, she switched to track cycling—an indoor cycling sport where bicyclists race on specially built tracks. In true Dotsie fashion, she was a quick study, and by 2008 and she was a member of the US Olympic Long Track Cycling Team. She will be competing in Team Pursuit with Lauren Tamayo and Sarah Hammer in the 2012 Olympics.

But for Bausch, her eating disorder wasn’t merely a wake up call that she needed to make some major changes in her life—it was also a realization that if she could break the cycle, she had a great chance at helping others break it as well. Dotsie has made herself available to others who struggle with eating disorders—not just for a quick pep talk to serve as a photo-op—but over the course of years, adopting each person who reached out as her own. This has lead her to start what she believes is her true vocation—helping those who struggle with the challenges she once faced. She recently launched a foundation, Courageous Voice, to help men and women alike conquer their eating disorders as well.

Does Dotsie ever worry that her competitive cycling might trigger her eating disorders again? As she told ESPN Women, “There is obviously a portion of my personality that fits in that need to push myself to some degree that most people would consider uncomfortable or painful—that’s obviously in there. I can use that in a really positive outlet or not.”

We here at HelloGiggles know that we’ll all be cheering for Dotsie—not only at the 2012 games, but for every person she saves off the track as well.

For the latest updates on the 2012 Olympic Games, follow @NBCOlympics and check NBCOlympics.com for the full schedule of events.

When have you seen God use a hardship in your past for the good of others in the future?

Getting Healthy: Oh, Taste and See

by Ashley Perez

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: Ashley has been a regular guest blogger for some time now, and we've just officially added her to our Wonderfully Made Contributor Team! Read more about her in her bio here.

Photo credit: thatkindofwoman.tumblr.com

The decision to get healthy is simple; one day you say to yourself "I want to be healthy." There, done. The follow-through however, not so much. We decide to "get healthy" because we realize something is wrong, off. Our bodies grow sluggish, our skin dull, and our waistbands increasingly tighter. This is not the realization that "you could stand to lose a few pounds", or "pretty girls are more popular"—this has nothing to do with those lies. Instead it's the realization that your body truly is a gift, a temple of sorts. And if you keep going on the way you do now, one day the temple will crumble and you'll be left standing amidst the rubble wondering how to put yourself back together.

It wasn't until my senior year of college that I decided it was time to get healthy, but by then I was such a mess of bad habits that it was hard to know where to start. What does it mean to eat healthy? Do I need to exercise everyday? How do I get healthy without becoming anorexic or obsessed with my body? These questions constantly ran through my mind at the beginning of my journey to personal health. I consulted the internet, read through countless women's magazines, and even delved into a few 300+ page books on proper diet, nutrition, and exercise. I was surrounded by information, but stuck in indecisiveness. Afraid to make the wrong choices, I didn't really make any choices at all. Things stayed that way for a long time, until I realized two things.

1. God has promised me power over temptation and evil. 1 Corinthians 10:13
2. He promised take care of me, feeding and clothing me. Matthew 6:26-34

For some reason we don't seem to think about God when thinking about getting healthy, as if our bodies are tied to this earth and deserve no thought in heaven. But I think we forget that our bodies are gift from God—they are capable of climbing mountains, swimming oceans, embracing loved ones and comforting one another. More importantly our bodies are our vessels in this world, meant to take us everywhere man can walk to spread a little piece of God’s love. Therefore by ignoring our bodies and treating them with little regard, we are literally trashing a gift from God.

The day I truly started getting healthy was the day I realized God had already given me everything I needed to succeed. Here's a tip: you don't need to know a whole lot about nutrition and diet to get healthy. Simply eat from the natural bounty that God has given us and you're well on your way to health.

Just by eating a diverse selection of fruits and veggies you are giving your body everything it needs to sustain and rebuild itself. Eat colorfully and live vibrantly, pick from the plethora of tastes and choices God has provided. It's amazing that everything you would ever need to survive God has put into his creations. An apple for example has no excess, every part of it is edible and nutritionally good: low in calories, high in fiber, and with no saturated fats or excess oils, you have nothing to worry about when eating an apple. That is how much God loves you, and just one example of how all he wants to give us is good.

The reason our bodies decay and grow weary is because we are putting into them things man has artificially created in a laboratory. Should you never eat cake again or indulge in the occasional freshly-baked chocolate chip cookie? Absolutely not—we were meant to live life fully and abundantly, not in deprivation and sadness. Cookies won't kill you and neither will the occasional Coca-Cola, but what is important to remember is that God has naturally provided everything you need. So live in his abundance, and choose to recognize the gift of health that God has given you, taking care of your body so that you can continue to do his work and take care of others.

"Oh taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man who takes refuge in him." (Psalms 34:8)

How can you make a lifestyle change that will help you grow closer to God?

Help Daisy Beat Cancer

by Natalie Lynn Borton

Have you heard about Daisy Love Merrick—the little 8-year-old girl who after 6 surgeries, 22 rounds of chemo and 2 courses of radiation, is facing cancer for the third time? Her family is planning for more chemotherapy and even a stem cell transplant in hopes of helping her kick cancer's butt once and for all. Unfortunately, those treatments aren't cheap and will probably cost around $500,000—money her family simply doesn't have.

In order to fund Daisy's treatments, they've created Pray for Daisy in hopes of raising the support they need for treatments—and this week, all profits from Allie Marie Smith's BodyBeautiful app will go straight to that fund! Promoting positive body image while helping fund a little girl's cancer treatment? Making the world a better place is just $0.99 away.

Get the app here, and visit Pray for Daisy to learn more about how you can support Daisy's family during this difficult time.

Will you help us spread the word by sharing this image on your social media sites? Let's join together to help Daisy beat cancer!

Death Of Yolo || Spoken Word

by Jeff Bethke

This was a poem I wrote for my church's Easter service this past April. My hope is that someone watching this will walk away with a deeper sense of the grace of God and just how monumental Jesus death, burial, and resurrection truly were. If Jesus is still dead we are to be pitied; but if He really rose, we have to face up with the implications. Nothing is more precious than the fact that when we trust in Jesus, we are united with Him as one. Because of that, whatever is true of Him, instantly becomes true of us. Spotless, blameless, perfect, righteous, etc. are all accounted to us since we are "in Him."

What's your response to this message?

Fashion with Compassion: Sseko Sandals

by Allie Marie Smith

I'm excited to share the 2nd installment of our new Fashion with Compassion series with you!

Today I'm highlighting Sseko Designs (pronounced "say-ko"), a sandal company based in Uganda. They make beautiful leather sandals with interchangeable straps that can be styled dozens of ways. Sseko employs a talented team of promising young women while providing them with university tuition while also contributing to the overall economic development of Uganda.

My hubs Paul and I had the joy of hosting the smart, talented, beautiful and hilarious Founder Liz and her husband Ben a few summers ago when they came out for their road trip! They are a truly an unforgettable couple - inspiring and sooo much fun to be with. Here's Liz with some of the designers:

The straps are totally interchangeable (shop straps here) and you can wear them a hundred different ways so it's like having a new pair every time you wear them...and they are so boho-chic! They even have a special wedding collection.

But wait, there's more—Sseko is celebrating their 3rd birthday and are offering a killer birthday package which includes 1 pair of soles and 3 pairs of straps in a bag + free shipping. Use the code "birthdaylove" and tell them Wonderfully Made sent you!

Besides having fabulous looking feet, you can wear your Ssekos proudly knowing your purchase helps support the education and empowerment of the beautiful Ugandan women who make them.

Have you ever heard of Sseko Sandals? What do you think of them?

WM Spotlight: Allison McLeod

by Rachel Johnson

The only way to preface this Spotlight is to warn you that you’re never going to believe that Allison McLeod has just graduated from high school – her wisdom and insight are far beyond her years. Allison uses her experiences and thoughts to shape the minds and hearts of young girls at Kanakuk Kamps, where she is a counselor this summer. Read on to learn how Allison is empowering young girls at Kanakuk to believe in their beauty, value, and worth, and how she plans to share that same message with the rest of the world.

Q: Thank you for joining us, Allison! Tell us about Kanakuk Kamps. How did you decide to become a counselor for the summer – were you once a camper yourself?

Thank you so much for having me! Kanakuk Kamps is a Christian sports came that encourages children in their walk with the Lord, all while helping them engage in athletic activity and having fun. I was actually a camper and a leader this summer; I was what Kanakuk calls a “Princess.” This is a peer-elected position in which, although I was a camper, I led and discipled about 130 girls in devotions every day.

Q: A coworker recommended that we feature you in our Spotlight Series because you are “paving the way as a Christian leader.” What experiences shaped you into the wonderful young woman (and leader!) that you are today?

Wow, what a compliment! I’m not so sure about that, but I do know that God has continuously poured His mercy all over my life. I grew up in an incredible Christian home, but during my freshman year of high school, I decided that Christianity was not for me. I deliberately turned my back on God and my family. In my desperate pursuit of the world, I began self-destructing physically, emotionally, and spiritually. God met me at death’s door, graciously breaking me and my pride. Through His grace, I realized that this life is not about me, my looks, or my actions. I was created to glorify the One who made me. Because of that mindset, I found true life and peace. As C.S. Lewis said, I’m not thinking less of myself – I’m just thinking of myself less.

Q: What struggles did you face as a teenager, specifically in regards to body image and self worth?

Growing up in the gymnastics world, I began dealing with very poor body image at an early age. This eventually led to an eating disorder, depression, and self-harm. I hated the way I looked and I blamed God for my unhappiness. I distinctly remember telling myself how ugly and overweight I was, literally speaking lies over myself. Even today I still struggle with accepting my body exactly the way it’s made. It’s sometimes hard to be grateful for how God has created me – perfectly and beautifully in His sight. As a result, I have been able to greatly relate to girls of all ages struggling to see themselves the way our Creator does and fight the lies we hear daily, both from our culture and from ourselves.

Q: How are you empowering your campers to realize their beauty and potential?

If you listen to what the world tells us as young women and then contrast it to what God tells us about our worth and value, you will find they are almost exactly opposite from each other. All I try and do is speak truth into each camper’s life; they need to hear His words, not mine. Their minds and hearts are saturated with the lies that the media (and sometimes their loved ones) tell them, but God wants them to know what He thinks of His awesome creation. That’s what I want them to hear. His truth is more empowering than I could ever be!

Q: You cite 1 Corinthians 6:19 – 20 as the verse that you use to help your campers overcome their obstacles. How has this verse impacted you?

This verse has completely changed the way I view and treat my body. During high school, I began thinking that my body was something I owned and that it was my choice what happened to it. How wrong I was! My body is so much more precious than just an object of this world – it is the very dwelling place of the Holy Spirit. I have been bought with a price; therefore, I am no longer my own. I need to honor the One who lives in me. I must respect myself and be grateful for my body as well as confident in the custom design God has given me.

Q: What do you do when you’re not a camp counselor at Kanakuk?

Outside of Kanakuk I am a gymnastics coach, dancer, and student. I will be a freshman at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga this fall studying nursing. I am so excited about getting involved in many of the campus ministries – I cannot wait to see what God has in store!

Q: What challenges do you see young women facing these days in terms of body image and overall self worth?

The constant message we are being told as women is that we’re not good enough – we’re not pretty enough, skinny enough, funny enough, smart enough, creative enough, strong enough, independent enough, tall enough, short enough...the list goes on forever. And the truth is, they’re right. We’re not good enough...for them, and we never will be. The beauty of this is the fact that God doesn’t even look at us for our outward appearance or talent, much less condemn us for it. God knows that we’re more than enough! The biggest challenge I feel women face today is counteracting those lies in their own lives and truly believing what the Lord says about them.

Q: What hopes do you have for the future – for your career, for your generation, for the world?

I want to be a nurse overseas someday, whether with short-term medical mission trips or permanently. I would love to share with those who have never heard the truth about their worth before just how valuable they are in God’s eyes. I pray young women begin to believe and own the fact that they are Daughters of the King, respecting themselves as they should and expecting others to do the same. I pray the world will begin seeing women for their hearts, and not just as objects or sex symbols. There have been many days when I have just wanted to shout at the top of my lungs to society, “We are so much more than our bodies!” God is bigger than the lies. Hold fast to His perfect, unchanging truth.

How does Allison inspire you?

Bless The Lord, Oh My Soul

Today's post is simple and entirely for you to feel refreshed: let the powerful words of this song and the following scripture sink in and nourish your soul. Dwell on the beauty of the One who made you with His loving hands, and spend some time reflecting on how He has nourished you (spiritually, emotionally, physically) in the past.

This song is inspired by Psalm 103:

1 Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

6 The Lord works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.

7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
15 The life of mortals is like grass,
they flourish like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children —
18 with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.

19 The Lord has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.

20 Praise the Lord, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
21 Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
22 Praise the Lord, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the Lord, my soul.

How does Jesus nourish you?

God, The Original Dentist

by Christina Stolaas

[photo credit]

A few weeks ago I had my semi-annual trip the dentist for a teeth cleaning. I have no fear of dentists, but, there are certainly other ways I’d rather use my time and money. With that being said, I make going regularly a priority because I love the feeling of deeply cleaned pearly white teeth. I realize that neglecting to go inevitably means a cavity and/or teeth decay will almost be guaranteed in the future.

As I sat there enjoying the quiet while the dentist performed the cleaning I had an "aha" moment: As a Christian I am expected to do regular maintenance for the health of my spiritual teeth. Some daily maintenance techniques are bible reading, praying, confessing, and renewing my mind. I strive for diligence because I know the benefits of these good habits. However, somedays like brushing and/or flossing physically—my maintenance becomes rushed and therefore not nearly as effective. Other days, I fail completely for whatever reason to perform the maintenance prescribed.

Sitting in a dentist chair requires a vulnerability I rarely experience in life. Literally I must sit still, helpless even, as he peers into my mouth with an ultra bright light. From his unique angle and the tools in hand, the dentist is able to look between crevices in my teeth that generally stay well hidden from the public. The areas illuminated by his light are literally areas that can only be viewed in his position and with his expertise, but if left unattended to can create much unnecessary pain.

When I sit in God’s dentist chair, I hope and half expect that my neglect will be unnoticeable. The truth is, the plaque and junk in my spiritual life sometimes needs a deep cleaning by THE Professional.

As I sat in the dentist chair this morning, I was strangely aware of how much faith I put in the dentist and his professionalism and capability. Calmly I sat there, eyes closed and completely restful for nearly thirty minutes while he used instrument after instrument to thoroughly clean my teeth. At times it was uncomfortable, I even bled a little! My trust was grounded on the fact that I knew beyond a doubt that all his efforts were concentrated solely towards my benefit.

It’s irrational that I can put such blind faith in someone like a dentist, but at times have trouble trusting God in the same manner. When God is cleaning the gunk out of my spiritual teeth I need to sit still, open wide and trust that whatever instruments He is using have a very specific purpose in the cleaning. At times the procedure may be uncomfortable and I am tempted to close my jaw, however, because God is good— everything He does is for my benefit! It’s simple: God doesn’t want His children walking around with cavities and decaying areas of their lives! I was reminded today that I regularly need to make time to sit in His chair and allow Him to make me pearly white again.

Is it time for you to let God do a spiritual cleaning? What is hindering you from it?

Christina is a young energetic mom to four adorable kids. She's addicted to coffee, running and pursuing a deeper walk with Jesus. In her free time she enjoys blogging to share random thoughts and the cool things God teaches her at www.madhattinmom.com

Leah: Not Loved

by Raquel Rodriguez

Laban had two daughters. The eldest was named Leah and the younger one Rachel. There was no sparkle in Leah’s eyes, but Rachel had a beautiful form and appearance. Since Jacob was in love with Rachel, he told her father, “I’ll work for you seven years if you’ll give me Rachel, your younger daughter, as my wife.” “Agreed,” Laban replied. “I’d rather give her to you than to anyone else.” Seven years later Laban prepared a wedding feast. But that night, when it was dark, Laban took Leah to Jacob, and Jacob slept with her. When Jacob woke up in the morning—indeed it was Leah! “What have you done to me,” Jacob raged at Laban, “I worked seven years for Rachel! Why have you tricked me?” Laban replied, “Wait until the bridal week is over, then we’ll give you Rachel, too—provided you promise to work another seven years for me.” So Jacob agreed to work seven more years. Then Jacob also married Rachel, and he loved Rachel more than Leah. (Genesis 29:18-30)

Leah was Laban’s first daughter, and Jacob’s first wife, but she was far from being in first place. She is described as having weak eyes, no sparkle; dull in appearance. Though she may not have been an ugly duckling, compared to Rachel, she must have felt like one. Adding injury to insult, beautiful Rachel had captivated the heart of a man, not Leah. Then, the unexpected happened, one that would surely work in her favor. Through deceit and trickery, Leah was finally married off. In one night, all the years of comparison, rejection, feeling worthless and unattractive faded as Jacob’s passion consummated the marriage. That is, till the sun rose and daylight revealed that it was not his beloved Rachel that lay beside Him but Leah. Jacob’s rage, his new engagement, and second marriage occurred so fast. For a moment Leah felt the weight of her insecurities lifted off, and in a matter of seconds they fell back on her, heavier than ever, for now she was a despised wife.

When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved (hated), He opened her womb; but Rachel was barren. (Genesis 29:31)

God took notice of Leah’s tears, agony, rejection, and loneliness. He saw she was unloved, overlooked, and loathed. He was acquainted with her misery, feelings, thoughts, and pain. Comparison fueled a family feud. She was empty, but God filled her. Four pregnancies later, Leah realized that it was the Lord that loved her, filled her to overflow, and desired her. In verse 35 she said, “Now I will praise the Lord.” Thereafter, her life wasn’t perfect, but I believe her heart had changed. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob had become the God of Leah. He created something beautiful in her and through her… seven children. It was from Leah’s lineage, not Rachel’s, that our Savior was born.

God has taken notice of your tears, agony, rejection, and loneliness. He sees that you have not been loved, have been often overlooked and perhaps despised by those who matter most. He knows your misery, feelings, thoughts and pain. He is aware of the failed attempts at filling your emptiness: the cuts, burns, disordered eating, over-exercising, compulsive shopping, drugs, sex, pornography, suicidal thoughts/attempts and yes, the constant comparison. Ladies, I have good news for you: His compassion towards Leah was, is, and will forever be, ours as well.

For your Maker is your husband,
The Lord of hosts is His name;
And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel;
He is called the God of the whole earth.
For the Lord has called you
Like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit,
Like a youthful wife when you were refused,”
Says your God.
“For a mere moment I have forsaken you,
But with great mercies I will gather you.
With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment;
But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you,”
Says the Lord, your Redeemer. (Isaiah 54:5-8)

The Lord committed Himself to Leah. God is committed eternally to you. God is moved by your sorrow. The Redeemer will transform your misery into freedom and fulfillment. As He filled Leah, He will fill you. It may not necessarily be with children, but He will fill you to overflow with all His goodness, physical blessings, spiritual gifts, joy and re-purposed life.

I invite you to surrender comparing yourself to other women, judging them and yourself merely by appearance or ability to produce something better. Confess to God areas where you feel short changed. Form your identity on God’s love for you, not on anyone’s view of you or on your circumstances.

Have you ever felt like Leah? Share a time God has filled your emptiness...

Oh, Goodness!

by Samantha Madison

[photo credit]

I'm reading a fantastic book right now with my best friends called, "Grace for the Good Girl."

I realized that I am a try-hard good girl. And let me tell you, this book is perfect for me, and it’s message is probably relevant for all you good girls out there.

The author, Emily Freeman, shares her story about growing up good. Going to church, staying away from boys, dreaming of her perfect future marriage and home, serving in church, and making sure everyone knew how good she was.

Oh how we can relate...

We all genuinely want to be good. We want people to think We’re good. We want to look good too. We want goodness to radiate from us, and we feel good when people recognize it.

We all want to be a good woman that everybody loves. One that reminds you of those advertisements from the 50’s. You know, the thin, glowing wife wearing an apron and a gleaming smile whilst cleaning her kitchen. We want to be that wife who never has a dirty home, and certainly doesn’t let her husband go hungry! We want to be a good mom who’s kids are thriving in a home where their parents never argue, and their mommy always leaves them a little note in their lunch box.

If we’re not yet married or mothers, we want everybody to love us for our zeal and energy. We certainly are never unhappy or discontent with our lives, because nobody likes a downer! We want everyone to know how well we follow the rules and we long to please everyone we meet with our sunny outlook on life.

And when people don't think we’re as good as we want them too...we go out and do more good things to change their opinion on us.

What a cycle, and what a waste of time!

What's most funny is how much irony is in this cycle we put ourselves through. The fact that we yearn for so much affirmation, so much recognition, and so much praise is selfishness. And selfishness is definitely not...well... good.

Personally, I’ve talked God’s ear off on this particular topic. I’ve told God how hard it is to be good...about how it's so tiring. He brought me to this conclusion.

Goodness is a character trait, and it is derived from godliness. We are human beings who often fail, but if we know that we have God on the inside of us, goodness will naturally flow out from us.

Goodness comes from God. After all, he is goodness in and of itself! Only he can create a goodness in us that is so beautiful and incandescent it will be hard to miss. So we don’t have to wear ourselves out by working for it, we can let go of our try-hard lifestyle. What a sweet revelation!

It's not about us, and it never has been. Striving to be virtuous is well and good, but God doesn't tell us to make sure everyone knows how virtuous we are and idolize ourselves. Our purposes in life are to be humble women who meet the needs of others and have a passion for serving the broken. That is true goodness.

Let’s let go of radiating our own goodness. Let’s radiate God's goodness to others.

How will you radiate goodness to others this week?

Sammie Madison is a 20 year old college student who has a passion for God and a passion for women. After experiencing abuse in her childhood, she decided it was her lifelong mission to minister and counsel women who have been taken advantage of. She believes that women who are walking in freedom will flourish-and she wants to be a part of that healing. She is currently studying Christian Ministries and Christian Counseling at Southeastern University. For Sammie, writing is a new found joy used to convey what God is speaking to her, or sometimes just the random musings of a single 20 year old girl. You can read Sammie's blog at www.hefishedforme.blogspot.com.

WM Spotlight: Joy Eggerichs (Part Two)

by Rachel Johnson

We're back with part two of our interview with Joy Eggerich (if you missed it, you can catch up on part one here). Read on to learn more about Joy’s work with Love and Respect NOW, including her thoughts on where her sense of humor came from, her take on social media, and her advice for women just like you who are interested in getting involved in a similar line of work.

Q: Why did you decide to target the 18 – 35 year old age range with your research and with this ministry?

When I began, I was simply doing research and learning myself. Managing the website, writing projects, and speaking engagements was not on the radar yet. I was unsure of exactly how the project would develop but I knew I wanted to shed light for my parents on some of the things my generation was facing. The 18-to-35-year age range is a typical research age bracket, so the choice was simple since I was in my late twenties.

Q: We think your writing (and your videos!) is hilarious. Where did you get your fantastic sense of humor, and how do you think it contributes to your role as a blogger?

My Grammy Jay Jay, who is my dad’s mom, was actually hilarious. She’s where my dad got his humor. She was quick-witted and sarcastic, creative and athletic, not to mention a stellar businesswoman. She became a Christian later in life, after my father did. She got involved with an organization called Christian Women’s Club and started traveling around sharing her testimony as well as a little comedy routine called “Toning While Phoning.” She pretended to show ways you could burn calories while catching up with friends on the phone.

Grammy Jay Jay’s whole life, including her faith journey and the choices she made in her rocky marriage are inspiring to me, even more inspiring than her sense of humor. At her funeral, my brother said to me, “Maybe you someday you can grow up and be Grammy Joy Joy.” I can only hope.

Q: You have a great presence on social media outlets like Twitter. How has social media changed the research game? Do you feel like you’re more or less able to conduct valid, concrete research on the topics important to Love and Respect’s ministry?

Social media is good for taking a quick pulse on things while getting people to think about certain issues. I definitely pay attention to the comments that happen on the LRN Facebook page and website in response to the questions I pose. However, at this point, I don’t consider social media something that could be used for a published piece of respected research. This is because there are certain demographics of people who use social media more than others – the samples and results wouldn’t hold the necessary weight in the academic world.

I'm more interested in getting people to think about truth instead of telling the world the truth about what my generation is thinking. (Say that five times fast.) That's the role I see myself and social media playing together at this point.

Q: How would you encourage someone who wanted to use a blog or a website as a platform for a cause they’re passionate about to get started in their work?

Do it. My father told me after I had been doing focus groups, reading, and talking about theories to the wall in my apartment that, “You don’t really know what you think or believe, Joy, if you can’t write it or speak it to someone.”

BUT…

I notice that many people start writing and speaking and become dogmatic about things, just to change their minds in a few months. I would encourage you to...

1. Take a posture of humility, even in the things you feel strongly about.

2. Have accountability. All my posts are reviewed by my parents—at a minimum. I also have a creative committee of friends who listen to my ideas and help me think through plans with wisdom and fresh eyes. Being accountable and submitting to people you believe are wise is a time-consuming and often frustrating process, but it will grow you in ways you can't imagine. If I didn't have that kind of accountability, I would probably have leaked to the world my undying devotion to unicorns already.

Oh, wait...

Do you share Joy's love for unicorns? Haha, but really, how does Joy's story and calling inspire you in yours?

WM Spotlight: Joy Eggerichs (Part One)

by Rachel Johnson

Marriage, relationships, love, broken hearts – these are all deep issues, right? You bet. But just because these topics can often times be tough to discuss, and certainly should be taken seriously, doesn’t mean that there can’t be aspects of joy woven throughout conversations about them – and by that, we mean Joy Eggerichs. (See what we did there? We think that the hilarious Joy is rubbing off on us...) Growing up under the tutelage of parents who advise couples about their relationships through their ministry, Joy was always intrigued in the dynamics of love, marriage, and general coupledom.

It wasn’t until this spunky chick’s world came crashing down after a difficult break-up that she saw how the Lord had a path for her – and while she thought it originally must be to console the broken-hearted, she realized that he had chosen her, a woman with serious heartache, to counsel those in relationships. Read on to learn how Joy has shaped her own ministry into exactly what God had planned for her.

Q: Thank you for joining us, Joy! First tell us about Love and Respect as a marriage ministry, and then shed some light onto the concept of your website, Love and Respect NOW.

Thanks for having me! My parents started Love and Respect officially around 2000. There’s an incredible story behind my father’s journey from a young adult to age 50. Out of his own parents’ rocky marriage, he knew he wanted to help people in relationships and in marriages so that other children didn’t have to grow up in the environment of instability that he experienced.

My division of this ministry, Love and Respect Now (LRN), began percolating subconsciously in 2005. I stopped pursuing a career in the fashion industry and chose to start directing my parents’ conferences and events. But it wasn’t until a pretty tragic break-up in 2007 that the LRN story really began to unfold.

Q: You share your story in a powerful video. I was so moved when you recounted the advice your dad once gave you – “When you’re this low, Joy, the only thing that you can do is serve.” How did that piece of advice shape your life?

It was huge. What I really respect about my dad is that he didn’t tell me that I had to serve. He didn’t say, “Joy, get your depressed batoosha outta bed and start feeding the homeless now!” Rather, he lovingly and logically highlighted the low place I was in and encouraged me to trust God in my brokenness. He planted a seed.

Metaphorically, my batoosha stayed in bed for a while after that, and then literally after I broke my ankle. But it was in that space that I said, “Okay, God – if you are real and up to something, I am willing to serve, even though I have no idea what I could give.” Sure enough, things started to happen after. As I look back, my future plans were still hazy at the time but I can see now that God was moving and putting people in my life and mind whom I could serve, even when I was physically and emotionally spent.

Q: The tagline of your blog is “If I only knew then, what I know now.” Is this something you’ve personally said to yourself, or was this phrase inspired by someone you’ve met through your research?

This is the real crux of the “why” behind what I am doing. This phrase is hauntingly inspirational – even when I want to ignore it, I can’t. Imagine a little creepy girl ghost that whispers into your ear, “If only…” as she floats by in a white ruffled nightgown. It’s kind of like that. Have I creeped you out yet?

When I began directing my parents’ Love and Respect events, I would meet people coming through the book-signing line at every single conference who would say two things to my parents: “Why didn’t anybody teach us this 20 years ago?” and “If I only knew then what I know now…”

Every.
Single.
Time.

So, in the many months following my own break-up, that little creepy ghost girl started whispering in my ear. Okay, mayyyybe it was the Holy Spirit, but, in any case, that was a catalyst in the eventual development of LRN.

Q: Your inbox must be inundated with questions about relationships. How do you find time to answer them all, and how do you choose which ones to answer via video?

I close my eyes, turn around three times, and then point. Whichever e-mail my finger lands on is the question I choose to answer on my sit.

Truthfully, there is no method. Sometimes if a question is really funny to me or seems to get asked frequently on my site or during speaking engagements, I respond to it. I love asking questions and learning new things as I ponder the questions being asked. By addressing this specific question about guarding your heart, I learned a lot.

Stay tuned for part two of our interview with Joy...

Dear Body, Thanks For Being On My Side

by Ashley Perez

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: The following is an article our contributor Ashley Perez had published on The Conversation, which we thought the readers of Know Your Value would also enjoy. You can read it in full below, or check it out over there.

Photo credit: Philippe Halsman

As a young girl, I spent most of my childhood fascinated by my body, stunned that it could turn scrapes into scabs, run up hills and chase boys around the playground. But then puberty happened and the body that was once my friend, became an unknown enemy of sorts.

I matured early, which meant for me the parts of my body that as a woman make me the most feminine, made me feel the least “girly” as an adolescent. Not only did I have body parts that no one else did, but my body was doing things I didn’t fully understand. Therefore it was around that time that I decided the best course of action would be to hate my body. If it was going to commit mutiny against me, then I certainly wasn’t going to love it. I’d hide it under baggy clothes, feed it junk food and stare at in the mirror to make sure it knew how much I disapproved.

I think we all go through something like this, a stage of panic when our bodies are changing against our will, and because we are so young when it happens, our first response is not gratitude for giving us the gift of womanhood, but horror at betraying us! The problem is, the horror doesn’t disappear and instead it turns to hatred.

We learn very quickly from society and our peers that you’re not supposed to love your body – as if liking your body is an offense against womanhood and our mutual obsession over “what could be better.” So instead we join the conversation of consternation and begin what seems like a lifelong battle with our bodies. But in our bitterness, we often forget the simple beautiful truth that our bodies are on our side!

It’s time for a truce. We have forgive our bodies for the changes they brought during our adolescence, and forgive ourselves for being so hard on them since. The reality is that our bodies are incredible; they can climb mountains, swim through oceans, embrace our family and comfort our friends, and yet we treat them like disposable waste. We consistently abuse them with bad foods, no exercise and no love, and yet they are still on our side.

If there is one thing to always be grateful for, it is your health. So instead of looking in the mirror and criticizing your body for everything it is not, take today to thank your body for everything that it does and is. Living a life of gratitude is about looking at each day and realizing that the things in our life that we deem to be ordinary occurrences are actually everyday miracles. You are alive and breathing, and whatever your dreams are for today, your body wants to help you get there. We live in a world where things won’t always go your way, and people won’t always be looking out for you, but at least for today you can say, “Dear body, thanks for being on my side.”

Not Defined By The Past

by Natalie Lynn Borton

[photo credit]

Friend, you are worth so much more than what you've done. Whatever is in the past is behind—unchangeable. Yes, there may be some shame you need to overcome. Yes, you might need to dig deep and learn something from your personal history. But be defined by it, like a name tag on your sweater?

No way.

Our mistakes help us become who we are, but they do not define who we are. Mistakes from our past do not have to be pervasive in our lives—if we've lied, we don't need to be liars; and if we've stolen we don't need to be thieves.

We are women, made in the image of God. And each of us is created uniquely to love, be loved, and reflect that glorious image. So if this message speaks to you today, I say let it go. Turn to the One who made you the beauty that you are, and invite him to help you overcome the past. Refuse to be defined by your old actions, and instead choose to make new ones with the knowledge you have now.

When have you let your mistakes define you? How did you overcome that false identity and learn to be someone new?

If Sin Is Like A Rotten Banana

by Christina Stolaas

[photo credit]

Most Christians know the Sunday school answer to dealing with temptation, the bible instructs us to flee. But let’s be real for a minute, sin is often astonishingly attractive in this fallen world we live in. My anger feels justified. My gossip tendency is disguised as informative or obligatory. My selfishness is coated with reasoning and labeled as self preservation My lust for possessions, prosperity and people masks itself as natural desires. Less offensive sins are often enticing and sometimes go unnoticed in my life because I have been desynthesized to how God views sin.

God hates sin. He hates the big humongous ones, but He also equally hates the little ones. He is greatly grieved with each and every fragment of sin. When we grasp how offensive sin is to God, we understand that sin is kind of like a repulsive, putrid, rotten, mushy banana.

This past week I discovered that my kitchen has some very unwelcome guests: fruit flies. I hate these pesky gross things, especially because they enjoy hovering over my kitchen sink that I must use regularly throughout the day. This morning, I developed an attack plan to get rid of em!

I cut a piece of a rotten banana and put it in the bottom of a cup to magnetically attract them. It was fascinating to watch as they swarmed collectively around the top of the cup. One of the braver flies unable to resist the tempting fruit nosedived and rested quickly on the banana. Nibble nibble nibble. Then zoom, back up joining the others in circular flight. I continued to watch unmoving, because, my goal was to catch the majority of the flies—not just a stray one or two.

Within a few minutes several other flies became overpowered by the permeating fragrance of the rotten banana and followed suit. Each going into the cup, resting quickly on the banana, sampling and zooooooming back up out of the cup. I left the cup in the sink and went about my morning routine. When I returned about thirty minutes later I was quite pleased to see the flies that were once dipping in for samples of the rotten banana were now unashamedly feasting on it. Quickly I grabbed the lid, slapped it on and smiled at the army of fruit flies I had snared with my savvy trap.

Sin is an awful lot like a rotten banana. If you fly around it, hover over it, keep company with the other flies—it can get really tempting. Almost irresistible. The fragrance of sin, the promise of satisfaction eventually lures many Christians into sampling it. We foolishly put tremendous faith in our human willpower to leave, to be able to successfully fly away before we get trapped.

The problem is, a few samples here, a few nibbles there—and somehow without awareness of how it happens we find ourselves easily entangled. We begin to feast on destructive habits that are masked well enough to seem gratifying momentarily. Then, without warning, the enemy who comes to kill, steal and destroy traps us in a cage of sin (John 10:10)! When he has us exactly where he wants us—he slams the lid on the cup and we become unwillingly trapped with filthy, decaying, repugnant, sin.

Trapping these flies became a very profound wake up call in my life. This visual is such a practical reminder of why we need to flee temptation. Don’t stick around and wait for the urge to nibble and sample the luring and seemingly pleasureful promises of sin. Run! Skeedaddle! Bolt! Flee! If sin is like a rotten banana, don’t be as foolish as a fruit fly!

Christina is a young energetic mom to four adorable kids. She's addicted to coffee, running and pursuing a deeper walk with Jesus. In her free time she enjoys blogging to share random thoughts and the cool things God teaches her at www.madhattinmom.com

Judgement and Love

[photo credit]

Do you agree with this statement? Why do you think judgement impairs our ability to love? How do you overcome the temptation to judge others?

Better Than Yesterday

by Natalie Lynn Borton

[photo credit]

Comparison is a nasty little beast. It creeps into our heads when we least expect it, and fills our hearts and minds with lies about who we are and what we're worth. So tempting it is to measure ourselves against others, we are constantly seeking out the perfect diets, the best clothing and the jobs that make the most money.

Girls, it's time for us to stop. Let's take a moment, breathe deeply and reflect. What do we really love? Who have we really been made to be? What are we most gifted at? What natural beauty do we possess that is unique to us?

Rather than constantly lose the comparison game (because we all know that we'll always perceive others as having better lives), why not focus on a game we can win? We cannot control others, but we can control ourselves: how we behave, how we view ourselves and others, how we love, how we interact with God. I'm not suggesting that we all launch personal self-improvement campaigns, but instead that we stop looking outward for our value and worth.

Your worth has been given to you by the One who made you. So talk to Him about it, and invite Him to help you become the best version of who He's created you to be—better than you were yesterday.

Do you battle the temptation to compare yourself to others? How do you strive to overcome that?

Happy Independence Day!

[photo credit]

Wishing you a happy, fun and safe holiday. We hope it's filled with good friends, tasty food, and lots of American spirit. Be back tomorrow!

How are you celebrating this 4th of July? Do you have any traditions?

Sharing Our Fears: Seeking Community in our Struggles

by Anne Taylor

[photo credit]

The summer before my freshman year in college, I went on a 12-day backpacking trip with my school. It was the middle of hot and sticky August in upstate New York, and I had never been camping for more than one measly night. Part of the course requirement was a two-day, two-night solo in the wilderness. Let me tell you, the bushwhacking made me uncomfortable, but the idea of being alone in the middle of the dark woods was terrifying. For a highly sensitive person who can’t stand being dirty, who is afraid of the dark, who hears every small sound in any room, who has trouble sleeping, I was sure that I wouldn’t survive even half of one night.

If you’ve never heard the term “highly sensitive person”, there are some amazing books on this topic, including this one, but let me describe as best I can what a HSP is using myself as an example.

First of all, I feel emotion in a deep way, especially sadness. When I cry, I cry hard. When I am feeling lonely, I can easily slip into a fearful state of anxiety. I can’t see any scary movies—I can’t even look at the DVD covers. I have a hard time falling and staying asleep. And don’t even get me started on crowds, bright lights, loud noises and stressful experiences. All of that puts me over the edge, into straight up exhaustion.

Any of this sounding familiar?

I am not an expert in this field, but I am seeking to be an expert in my experience. Feeling emotion deeply, suffering from an eating disorder and poor body image, and wrestling with anxiety and loneliness—these are my truths. And if any of my truths resonate with you, know that you are not alone in this fight. We’re in it together.

As the night began to fall on that first night of solo, my guide Paul came over to give me enough water to last me until the morning. I immediately began crying, “You have to let me come back to camp. I am too anxious to do this.” I explained that I couldn’t stop thinking of home, and how much I missed my family.

And what he said next changed my life.

“Anne, you and I are a lot alike,” he began. “We feel emotions deeply. When we are sad, we feel so dark in our despair. It doesn’t seem like we will ever get out. In this way, our ability to feel is a burden. The beautiful part of how we are made, though, is that when we feel love or joy or excitement, our hearts are ignited with a passion and vigor for life. Everyone in our life who feels our love knows that we have a special gift. They know how deeply we care for them, and they are so blessed by that. You see, the depth of our emotion is both a burden and a significant blessing.”

The realization that I wasn’t alone in feeling this way helped me calm down. And then Paul challenged me to finish what I started.

“Don’t let the anxiety take over. You are strong, and I know you can do it.”

As a highly sensitive and relational person, my biggest fear is being sad and alone, basically a solo experience. But even more powerful than any dark feeling I had was the community I felt with Paul, and the hope that I discovered in our shared trait. As someone who knew what I was going through, he believed in me and told me so. With that realization, I knew I could do it.

I strongly believe that this is the time when we need to come together and be honest with one another in love. We desperately need to share our experiences, and be compassionate to each other as we work to get out of our pain, whatever that may be. This is such a difficult step, to be truthful that we are in a place of sorrow. However, it is the first step towards grace and freedom. When we are bound together in our lives, we cannot be stopped.

The next morning of my solo, I woke with the sun. I stretched and slowly climbed out of my sleeping bag. It was only a few minutes later that I saw Paul coming towards me, in a full out jog. He had a huge smile on his face.

“Anne, you did it! You did it! You made it through the night!”

I will never forget the joy on his face, the look of sheer pride that I had faced my fears and had accepted a challenge to know myself in a deeper way.

You and I may be so emotional and sensitive that even the slightest prick of pressure or fear can send us toppling over. But we are not alone in this. In our community, we will strengthen one another, encourage, and praise each other’s accomplishments. And in the end we will know and trust ourselves, and the world, in a deeper and more fulfilling way.

“Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.” -Matthew 18:18-20 (The Message)

How is your difficulty holding you captive? Who in your life could benefit from you sharing your story? And how do you feel you’d benefit from feeling community throughout this journey?

Anne Taylor is 24 years old and lives in Denver, CO with her husband. She is currently preparing for graduate school where she will pursue a PhD in American History. When she isn't reading, studying or cycling, she writes about her everyday adventures on her blog Anne the Adventurer. Anne is passionate about people and storytelling, and seeks to inspire people daily to reflect on their past so as to live and create better futures.

Fashion with Compassion: Raven + Lily Zia Earrings

by Allie Marie Smith

Happy Monday Girls!

I'm so excited to introduce to you a new series I'll be doing called Fashion with Compassion, where I'll feature some of my favorite fashion items that support a good cause! While I have to be honest and say that I think one of the last things I think girls and women need is a another fashion blog, I hope this fun new series will inspire us to think differently about the clothes, jewelry and accessories we buy. My hope is to introduce you to some lust-worthy pieces that not only look great on, but more importantly change lives, communities and the world.

Today, I am wearing my Zia: Gold Leather Leaf Earrings by Raven + Lily. I feel like a modern day Cleopatra! They are definitely statement earrings, which I adore, and what what I love more is that they are handcrafted by marginalized Muslim women in Northern India using locally sourced leather (meet the inspiring designers here).

The profits they bring in fund literacy programs for the women artisans and their children in the community! Get your very own pair right here, or click on the image below to be taken to their home on the Raven + Lily site.

What do you think of the new series? Any suggestions for future fashion items to cover?